


Top Dog

by Queenoflabs



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:21:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 51,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28413069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenoflabs/pseuds/Queenoflabs
Summary: Therese is a sucessful innovation director for a multinational company.Sequel of "The gifted one", this is actually where the real story starts.12 years after, the two women will meet again. But where do they exactly stand now ?Can you forget your first love ?This story will explore the love of two women at different stage of their existence. With a 17 years age difference, Therese is now 29 and Carol 46.
Relationships: Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Comments: 105
Kudos: 183





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well I'm still French and writing in English so... :-p

-Top Dog-

Chapter 1

« Make sure the bookings are right this time, and I need to be back before 8pm on Friday »  
« Yes Madam », the assistant switfly retreated to his own office.  
Therese could feel a massive headache settling in. She still had 6 more hours of meetings to go before heading home but she could not wait for a bit of free time. Her sleeping pattern had been permanently damaged by the countless jetlags she had suffered these last few years, making her jumpy and grumpy most of the time.

Therese was what you would call a top dog.  
After integrating a prestigious university, she graduated in IT and mathematics, fields were women were rare these days. Even in 2020.  
Head of innovation for a prestigious technology company, she was at 29 one of the most promising one of her generation. She loved her job dearly but could feel her lifestyle wearing her down. Too many sleepless night she thoughts.

Scrolling throught the different text messages she received during her last meeting, Therese typed a quick reply back before turning the phone's screen down. « I should be home by 8 »

Rubbing her temples with her middle and index fingers, she took a deep breath before connecting to her next conf call.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A tired looking Therese opened the door to her loft around 11pm that night. The place was dark and the brunette sighed, she knew she failed once more to get back home at a decent hour.  
Carefully removing her coat and shoes, she made her way inside the appartment greeted by Gaston, a fluffy looking white cat.  
« Hi Boy, how are you doing ? »  
Scooting down to pet him, Therese lit the room before making her way towards the kitchen. She was starved. A little handwritten note was folded on the table « I've waited for you ».

Ashamed, the brunette took the note and made her way towards the living room, not that hungry anymore. She sat down and placed her phone between ear & shoulder. After couple of seconds, she heard the recording and waited before leaving a message.  
« Jen I'm sorry... I know you've been waiting for me. I know I told you I'd be there by 8...I've had... a bad day" She pause, not sure what else to say "Forgive me ? Call me back when you have this message. Love you ». 

Closing the call, Therese let her head drop against the cutions. She realized at this very moment how lonely she still felt, even now. Like it was engraved in her bones. Like she was so cold inside nothing could warm her up.  
She had been with Jen for 3 years now, but she could not help pushing her, always testing the foundation of their relationship. She knew she was not treating her fairly but the young women keep coming back for more. Awaiting even the smallest of gesture from her. Therese liked the comfort of being in a relationship, she like being loved, being cared for, but the big void in her heart was still there, bigger each day.  
Sipping on a glass of wine, she opened her laptop to read her emails before making her way to the bedroom. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

« Miss Belivet, Bienvenue à Paris »,  
The tall man greeted her with a nice smile before taking her suitcase and bags for her.  
The walked in silence the couple of steps leading to the car.

« Monsieur Desjardins is waiting for you, would you like to check in to your hotel first maybe ? »  
The young women was looking out the window, her tired body aching from the 8 hours spent flying.  
« That would be lovely, tell him I'll meet him for lunch ». Nodding, the man drove throught the scenic route leading to the center of Paris, before a groom opened her door. They just arrived.  
Therese checked her phone, realizing she did not hear from Jen since she called her last night. Knowing she would be abroad the entire week did nothing to calm this uneasy feeling in her stomach. She knew she needed to do something, give her heart to her or end this joke of a relationship. Still her deep affection for the woman was keeping her from taking any harsh decision.  
She made a mental note to call her back at a decent hour.

Alone in her room, Therese did not even take a minute to marvel in her surroundings. Already used to the extensive suites, expensive furnitures but also brutal coldness of these places. These hotels reminded her of her foster homes somehow, so impersonnal. So empty.  
She discarded her clothes messily on the floor before making her way towards the bathroom. Checkin the time, she realized she had one hour to spare before meeting her client. She jumped into the shower, the scalding water soothing her aching muscles.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

« Therese !!!! Please join me dear », Mr Dujardin was a smart looking man in his mid fifties, the way her prounouced her name with his thick French accent made her smile.  
« It's so lovely to have you here, with the new deal being signed, we needed you here to cover all the technical details » he made a gesture for her to sit in front of him.  
« It's my pleasure Mr. »  
« Please call me Edouard »  
« Edouard »  
The maitre d'hotel introduced himself and took her coat and bag before indulging them with the menu. The star restaurant was one of Paris's pearl and the exquiste cuisine they were serving was something new to Therese's palate.

The conversation flew smoothly between them and they were soon back to business.

« How long are you staying over Therese? You are not leaving already arent you ? »  
«I'm planning to head to the London office tommorow afternoon, is that okay for you ? » the brunette suddently felt nervous, she could feel something different in the way Edouard was looking at her. With some sort of mischief.  
« Perfect! Would you then join me and my associates tonight at the Opera Garnier ? There is this grand premiere with their new artistic director and we've been invited over of course as we've been sponsors for years » He was looking at her with excitment in his voice.  
« Well..I guess »  
« Is that a yes ? »  
« Yes » Therese was laughing, this man was getting the best out of her. His friendly face and increadible culture made him pleasant company. She enjoyed hearing him talk about arts in general. She wondered if all French people were like that ?

After a long day spent discussing the main aspects of the contract, Therese was ready to head back to her hotel. She decided to spoil herself for once and run herself a bath in the luxurious bathroom. She took extra time in relaxing, letting the scented oils calm her. The buzzing of her phone made her jump and she reluctantly grabbed both sides of the tub to stand up. « Jen ». They made up over the phone earlier that day so she was probably calling to ask her about her day.

« Hi Baby » Her soothing voice was comforting to Therese,  
« Hi you, how are you doing ? »  
Jen seemed to be relaxing over the phone as she talked about her work as an accountant. Explaining again how « Jeannette was a bitch » and how « She thought Dan was gay ». The brunette was listening silently, trying to find what was missing withing her in her partner's voice. Beating herself for not feeling more excited to talk to her.  
The conversation went back serious after couple more minutes.  
« You are going to the Opera ? » Jen seemed to not be happy with this idea.  
« Well why not, it's a unique opportunity... »  
« Well I don't know, you are barely there anymore, always making excuses about work, about how you don't have time for anything else ». Clearly the woman was pissed.  
« Jen... please don't do that. It's a business thing, I've been invited by Mr.Desjardins, I have to go », rubbing her face with her free hand, Therese was annoyed. She had no time for this. She loved Jen but she needed her to trust her, to trust she would come back to her.  
« I've made sure to be back by Friday evening, just so we can have our date night as promise... » She tried to remain calm, reassuring.  
« Okay. » Not sounding convinced, Jen went silent. « Enjoy your night. And...I love you »  
« Love you too, Bye now ».

Looking at her watch, Therese realized she was late. She started to frantically look for something to wear in her bag. What is one supposed to wear to go to the fucking Opera garnier ?  
She heard about it before, she had even dreamed about going there at some point. Today it felt like a distant memory.  
She made her way inside the elevator, checkin herself one more time in the big mirrors. She was wearing a darkgreen velvet suit with a black satin collar, a white shirt and black stilletos. She finished her look with minimal makeup and wore her hair wavy from her bath. Simple but very « French » she thought.  
As promised, Edouard was waiting for her outside of the Lobby in his own car.  
« Madam, you look absolutely stunning ». Taking his offered hand gracefuly, she stepped into the car, marveling at the beauty that was Paris by night. She had been there before on many occasions, but somehow, the perspective of attending this event changed her mindset. It added a magic twist to the situation.

The palais Garnier was huge and its architecture was increadible. She did'nt know enough about the period to say anything clever about it to her host, but she kept listening with great interest to all the stories shared by Edouard.  
« And here we go my dear, the « entrée des artistes ! » »  
They entered by the backdoor and were soon surounded by stressed looking staff members. They were putting the final touch to macaroons & champagne flutes pyramids.  
The brunette felt like a little girl, observing each piece of furniture, marvelling about the elegance of the place. It felt right, she felt like she could belong here somehow. What a weird feeling she thought.  
A laugh in the background stired an uneasy feeling inside her. She felt her stomach contract.  
She heard it again, with some sentences in French she could not understand. She tried to localize where the sound was coming from without success.  
« So, what do you think ? » Edouard came back, interrupting her thoughts, champagne in hand.  
« Let me introduce you to my partners. Christine and Charles ». They shook hands briefly before a ruffling sound made them turn around. Seems like it was time to enter the theater.  
Following the crowd, Therese let herself be guided to one of the front seats, giving her a perfect view of what was to come. She then realized with a smile she had not even bothered asking or searching what the evening was about. It was one of these experience, where the setup and venue is more important than the show itself.  
The elegant and smart looking guests kept arriving before the lights turned off and spotlights were left illuminating the stage.

A confident looking man in his fifties entered the stage in a tuwedo and the crowd started clapping.  
« This is the Director of the Opera, Mr. Bolloré », Edouard filled her in, visibly happy.

Clearing his throat, the man got handed a mic from one of the assistant and started his speach. In French...  
Therese could not understand anything. Her mind started to wander again to the place, the paitings behind the stage, the space for the orchestra she could see below...

« Carol Aird !!!! »

The room erupted in applause, everyone standing up and Therese felt like she had been hit by a high speed train. She stood up herself, craning her neck just in time to see... Her. It was her. After 12 years, it was her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments and kudos !

Chapter 2

« Carol Aird !!!! »

The room erupted in applause, everyone standing up and Therese felt like she had been hit by a high speed train. She stood up herself, craning her neck just in time to see... Her. It was her. After 12 years, it was her. She knew it in her bones.

Therese felt like she could not breathe, her collar suddently to tight. The creature standing on stage was even more increadible that she could remember. Her statuesque figure was going on for miles in a designer dark grey pantsuit. Her hair were cut short, just below her ear, still blonde, still perfect. The brunette was gaping like a fish out of water, not knowing what to do with herself or how to react. She felt like she was 17 again, all the feelings she felt then came rushing back to her in a messy symphony. It was too much.

Once everyone was sitting back, Carol, started to address the public, her perfect French only adding to Therese's disbelief. Was this women even real ? How could someone be so perfect ? Feeling like a giddy teenager the brunette tried to take a deep breath to control her ragging mind.  
« You alright ? » Edouard was looking at her with concern. Surrely he sensed her tense up.  
« You look a bit pale darling? » Therese could not reply. She opened her mouth, wanting to say something witty, or even smart. But she was at complete loss of where she was or what to do. Feeling her cheeks turning a deep shade of crimson, she excused herself and stood up akwardly, litterally running out of the theater.

In the background Carol's voice was mesmerizing the crowd, till she heard it. A stutter ? A silence ?  
Too late, she was already outside, rushing to find the closest bathroom. Surrely it would be empty ?   
Therese did not know what she wanted, she had always wondered if their path would cross again ? And what would happen then ? She had spent so much time thinking about this woman, before her memory disapeared somewhere at the back of her mind. She thought it would stay there forever, hidden, but clearly she was wrong.   
She had changed so much in the last decade, she wondered if it was the same for Carol ? Still she looked as poised & perfect as she could remember. Maybe even more. Would she remember Therese ? Her eyes started to burn imagining she might not remember her.  
Steeling herself, Therese decided she needed to go back, she needed to face her, even if Carol could not see her. She needed to burry these feelings as deep as she could, to not risk having them resurfacing once more. Splashing some water over her face, the young women looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She reaplied some lipstick and stood up straighter, high on her feet. She had nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be ashamed of. She was Therese Believet, she was a Top Dog and she would prove herself she was as worthy as Carol Aird.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Earlier that day...

« That's the last one »  
A big cardbox came joining the others on the woodfloor of the Haussmanian appartment.  
Distracted, Carol waved the young man « Merci », before walking around the empty place.  
She did it, she took the plunge, she moved to Paris. She could still not believe it. After everything that happened, after these years spent in the dark, here she was finally free, finally able to get her passion for arts back. Getting suddently very emotionnal, the blonde wiped a tears that threatened to escape from her eye. She touched each box softly, fondly, trying to picture the life that was ahead of her. It felt like she was born again, starting anew.

« Mama !! This place is so coooooooool », the excited little blonde was running all over the place, admiring the view from the living room windows.  
« Stop running sweet pea, let's start opening these boxes... » with a wink towards her daughter, Carol knew she made the right decision. She needed to be strong for her, for Rindy. She needed to show her her mom was not this devastated housewife she used to be. She was strong, she just needed to be reminded herself of that.

«So you know Marie will stay with you tonight right ? I have to go to the... » Rindy interupted her, clearly annoyed. « To the theater, I know, I know !! It will be alright mama, I'm 10, I'm a big girl now. » Smiling fondly at her daughter, Carol was a proud mother. « How old are you again ? » she started to tickle her daughter widly « Mommy stoooop !!!!!! »

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

« Carol, are you ready ? »  
« Of course I am, I've waited my entire life for this », Truth to be told, she did not feel as confident as she let Marc see, but she needed to appear like she was in charge. Mr. Marc Bolloré was the head of the Opera Garnier and they met 2 years ago in Montreal where she was directing an Orchestra there.   
They immediatly felt an artistic connection and he had been trying to convice her ever since to join the Palais Garnier. Carol always declined, not feeling good enough, too scared to get what she really wanted. Everything changed 6 months ago. She woke up one morning with her daughter telling her how sad she looked, and she asked her what she did wrong to make her so sad .  
Carol could have wept that day. She knew her mood swings and lack of enthusiasm was impacting her daughter. She needed a change of scenery. An impromptu call from Marc felt like there was no hasard and she took the plunge. She agreed to relocate to Paris.

Tonight was the big opening of the new season. They defined for the last 6 months wich direction the parisian instituation would be taking for the next coming years. Everything was now ready. To make things more official, Marc told her they needed to present the ambitious new program to their huge network of sponsors. It was needed to make sure they would keep supporting the place in the future.  
Wearing one of her tailored suit, Carol felt younger, lighter, bolder. She could not remember the last time she felt such a bubbling excitment within her. It has been too long. Smiling from ear to ear, she was tchatting away, charming all important guests, making sure they would be smitten by her.

« Carol, we need to go now ». Marc took her elbow lightly, indicating a backdoor.  
« So I'll start with the introduction and then, the stage will be yours ! ». They waited backstage for the crowd to enter the main theater, a nervous excitment gaigning them. It felt like a first day at school, all new, all shiny, but also quite scary.  
Taking a deep breath, he kissed her on both cheeks before making his way on stage. The public errupted in applause, and Carol knew the theatre must have been full. Marc started to speak, thanking everyone for coming and supporting the Opera.  
Then she heard her name, pronounced loudly. Wiping her sweaty palms on her pants, she took a deep breath before plastering her most charming smile over her face. This was her moment she thought.

She started her speach, introducing the new season, how honoured she was to be the new artistic director. At some point she felt the hair at the base of her neck standing, like a weird vibe enveloping her. Trying to chase it away, she kept talking, her senses on alert. Suddently she spotted a dark silhouette standing up and excusing herself to leave the front row. All the oxygen left her lungs at that moment. She did not understand what had just happen. She felt a cold sweat invading her. She cleared her throat, at loss. Facing the audience as she could see the last centimeters of the dark figure leaving the theatre. Was it her, was it Therese ? Why was she even thinking about Therese, it had been so long...

Sensing something was fundamentaly wrong, Marc took over, trying to cover whatever had just made the star of his show so distracted. The public did not seem to mind and soon the first set of musicians installed themselves for the grand opening.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Later that evening, it was now time to open the after party. An impressive cocktail was organized, and guests were welcome to give their impressions on the program.

« So Therese, what do you think ? » Edouard was proud to be one of the main sponsors. However he had no idea the brunette was so knowledgeable about classical music. This came up as a shock to him.  
« It was good, very good. Listen, I'm not feeling very well, I think I should go back to the hotel ». She was smiling to him but he could feel the young lady was tensed or maybe tired, he could not be so sure.  
« Are you sure ? It's now the best part, we get to eat, drink and meet all these artists. » he was speaking to her ear, like trying to share some secrets with her. His manners made her smile once more and she felt herslef relaxing a bit. « Just one more then », she winked at him with a full champagne glass in hand.  
« Ah Edouard !! Edouard »  
An excited looking man was waving in their direction. Therese recognized him immediately. He was the guy from the beginning. The one who introduced...Her.  
« Have you met Carol yet ? »  
The two man shook hands warmly before Mr. Bolloré took a step backward, obviosuly looking for something, someone.  
« Here she is !! ».Without much more ceremony, he gripped a tall blonde figure by the arm, making her turn around in surprise. « Marc ? What ? ».  
Time stood still, Carol immediately found her eyes. As bright, as expressive as she could remember. They were looking at her intently. Questionning. She was stucked somewhere in time, remembering the young women who left a deep scar on her heart then. It seemed it was several lifes ago.  
« Carol, please be introduced to Mr. Edouard Desjardins, one of our mains "mecène" ».   
The scene in front of her took place in French and Therese was still holding her breath. Waiting for a blow that never came.  
« And this is ? » The tall man gestured towards Therese in an elegant manner.  
« Therese Belivet ». Carol filled in without ever thinking. Realizing all eyes were already on her, she was mortified, suddently looking at the door.  
« You know each other? » The two men were looking back and forth between the two women, happily surprised their circles might have crossed at some point.  
Therese could not believe her ears, she remembered. After all this time she remembered her. A genuine smile graced her face and she relaxed for the first time since she heard her name. What else could happen ? She remembered her !!! Feeling like doing a little happy dance, Therese realized how uncomfrotable the blonde was looking. Time had been kind to her but she seemed to lack her usual poised. The more closely she looked the more she felt the blond was a little aloof, her eyes were lacking the passion and mischief she could remember.   
« Carol Aird was my professor, back then in Boston »  
« Oh really ? Professor of ? » Edouard was not following, frowning.  
« I've spent couple of months at the Gerschwin School in Boston, we met there. A long time ago... »  
Waiting for the blonde to look at her, Therese was disapointed as she seemed to be more interested in anything but her. A sad smile adorning her face.  
« Well ladies, in that case, We'll leave you to it. I have couple of topics I would like to cover with you Edouard, if that's okay ».  
Still not convinced by the weird looking exchange that took place before his eyes, Edouard looked at Therese as if to say « Will you be alright ? », she nodded once and soon the two woman were left alone. Running a nervous hand through her hair, Carol finished her champagne glass in one gulp before excusing herself.  
« I should go as well, I need to talk... » A hand on her wrist made her stop, she was looking behind Therese now, not wanting to look into her eyes.  
« Carol, please don't, it was a long time ago. Can we be... civil with each other? »  
At that her blue eyes meet the green ones. Trying to decipher what was happening between them. She had no words. She felt her heart beating widly in her chest, she felt too many emotions she had burried long ago trying to escape. Taking a proper look at Therese, she realized how different she was. She was still Therese of course, no doubt about that. But she looked so grown up, so fine, so elegant. She was far from the wild teenager she remembered.  
« You are right, well that's that ». Resigning herself, Carol waved a waiter to get another glass of champagne. Needing some liquid courage to face this etheral young woman.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Happy New Year to you all :-)

Chapter 3

''You are right...well that's that.'' Resigning herself, Carol waved a waiter to get another glass of champagne. Needing some liquid courage to face this etheral young woman. 

She looked at Therese a couple more seconds deep in thoughts.  
''You want to go somewhere else?'' She gestured towards the exit, heart in her throat.

''Yes, please'' The brunette gave her an encouraging smile before taking the blonde's arm while she was navigating them through the crowd. She felt on fire.  
They ended up on an empty balcony with a « do not access » sign written on it.  
''That's okay'', Carol quietly answered the untold question.

The silence was suffocating. Therese was studying her closely, trying to imagine what could be happening into the blonde's mind. Feeling like she was miles away, distant. Scared maybe ?. She wanted to create a connection, she wanted to break the ice. She started easy. 

'' Well...congratulations, I guess this is a big achievement... Artistic director of the Opera Garnier''.

The blonde smiled shyly at that, looking at the scenery in front of them.  
''Thanks, that's very kind of you''. She did not say more, not wanting to appear to eager. 

Nodding her head in silence, Therese mirrored her position, looking also straight ahead, but feeling the blonde's heat burning through her clothes. Smiling sadly she got lost in thoughts for a good minute, letting the absurdity of the situation settling in.  
''What were the possibilities...''

''What ?'' the blonde snapped her head in her direction.

Looking at her feet, she took a deep breath before continuing, trying to find the right words. She felt like everything she wanted to stay got stucked in her throat.  
''I mean, you, me, here in Paris... What were the possibilities our path would cross again?''

'' Do you regret meeting me Therese?''. The question made the young woman turn around, she did not understand the question. Did she mean meeting her here or meeting her all together. She felt the vulnerability once again in the blonde's question, wondering what happened to the woman she left 12 years ago.

''Oh Carol, How could I regret ?'' She said fondly, gripping the blonde's forearm, trying to convey what she was feeling at this moment. She wanted to erase this look from her face, wanted to hold her, to protect her. 

A lonely tear ran down the blonde's cheek and Therese wiped it away. It reminded her of that night, the night spent at her place, the night that was the climax of her forbidden feelings for her professor.  
Taking a shuddering breath, Carol covered her hand with hers. The two women still not looking at each other, far away in their respective toughts.

The blonde finally cut the silence moments later, wanting to keep some sort of connection. She felt good with Therese so close to her.  
''What are you doing in Paris ? I realize I don't know anything about you...''  


Nodding slowly, Therese turned to face her, her expression neutral.  
''Well, I came heer to see Mr. Desjardins... I'm working for a big company in the US. I'm their innovation director... ''.  


Raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow, Carol could not hide her admiration.  
''Well, I can't say I'm surprised to hear you are doing good for yourself Therese. You've always been...Special ». A sad smile was now adorning her face. She tilted her head to the side, looking at the brunette intently.

''Special ? How so ? If I remember correctly, I've given up one of my main opportunity for you ! Seems like I was not that special back then'' Therese had spoken these words with venom in her voice, she was tired of this small talk. She wanted to provoque de blonde, she wanted to see the fiery woman she met back then made an appearance. She needed to hear this had not been all in her head, that she did not give up the Gerschwin for a one sidded little crush.

Carol was taken aback by the outburst, she was trembling lightly, feeling both ashamed and nervous 

''Please, don't, don't do this''

''Don't do what ? Here we are again ? Does it have to be always so damn difficult Carol ? Cause to me THIS... feels dreadful ». She moved her hand back and forth between them, expressing her frustration.

Lips trembling, the blonde felt small, vulnerable. Being in close proximity to Therese was hard. Harder she could have imagined. She did not feel like she had the ressource to fight back. She wanted to escape, to get back to the safety of the little life she built for herself.  
''I'm sorry Therese''.  
Taking the brunette's silence as her opportunity to leave, she was stopped in her track once agian. Therese was looking at her with gravity, thousands of emotions reflected in her large green eyes.  
''You... '' She stopped, not sure if she could say this, if she should continue. But would she get another chance to ask ? To ask what had been on her mind for all this time ?  
''You've never answered my letter you know. I've waited. I've waited but you've just ignored me'', defeated, Therese made a gesture in the air, looking straight into Carol's eyes for an answer.

Shuddering from the cold, the blonde hold her jacket more tightly around her, she took a step back from the brunette, needing the distance.  
'' It was a long time ago Therese... ''  
Tired of this, the brunette tried one more time to stir something within Carol, to make it throught these layers of coldness and vulnerability she could see.  
''Yes, but here we are now, and I've not forgotten Carol. I haven't...''  
With that, always being the bold one, she tugged at the blonde's arm before engulfing her in a fiery hug. Wanting to feel this was not a dream, that she was real. She holded her tight, letting her perfume, her presence inviding her senses.  
Carol tensed up, holding her breath. Not moving an inch she tried to stop the conflicting feelings taking over her mind. Therese let go couple of seconds afterwards, looking straight into her eyes with determination.  
''Goodbye Carol''.

With that the blonde watched her retreated form leave the balcony, feeling now colder than ever. In the emptiness of the night surrounding her, she whispered these words back.  
''I have not forgotten either … How could I ever'' But the brunette was already long gone.  
A shill ran down her spine, Carol felt both hot and cold. Dead and alive. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''Thank you Miss Belivet, we could have not done it without you ''. Edouard was smiling fondly while looking at the road ahead.

''It was my pleasure, really '' Therese felt tired, drained. She successfully handled the contract signature and was now heading back towards the airport. London would be her next stop.  
If she was honest with herself, she had not been thinking about anything but Carol for the last 16 hours. She had so much questions she wanted to ask. She scolded herself for not finding the words yesterday. This was her unique chance...  
Edouard kept talking but today she did not feel like listening. She was trapped in her own mind, memories of the last 12 years invading her.

''Ah, I forgot ! This came for you this morning'' Edouard handed her a manilla enveloppe messily folded in two. Not understanding, she looked at it with curiosity.  
Then she spotted it immediately. At the top of the enveloppe was a little logo. « Opera Garnier / Opera de Paris ». Her heart started to beat furiously in her chest, her hands trembling while holding the precious paper. Could it be ?

On autopilot, she could not remember saying goodbye to Edouard, neither getting through security or boarding the plane. She kept the enveloppe in her hand all the way to London. Too scared to open it, to scared to be disapointed once again. It felt like her Shrodingher cat. From the moment the enveloppe was close, there could be anything in it. And she wanted to hold onto this feeling forever.

Going through her afternoon meetings, she was still keeping the piece of paper close to herself, making sure she could touch it with her fingers. Like a reassuring presence. Like having Carol close to her.  
When she opened it, it was much later that night. She had make sure to have several glasses of alcool into her system, to help her cope with the disapointment she could se coming.

Two thin pieces of paper were neatly folded inside. The handwriting rushed and uneaven. It felt like it had been written in a hurry, like there was an urgency behind the words. She caressed the written lines lightly with her fingers before starting to read.

« Therese,

There is no accident. Meeting you again reopened old wounds I thought closed. How naive was I to think I could just forget you and go on with my life, as if...as if.

You were right Therese, you deserved an answer, you deserve to know.  
Things have changed so much since I've last seen you. How special you were, my little savior. So gifted, so bold, so generous. I've always felt connected to you, that since the first time you entered my classroom. But how could I feel that way ? You were my student. I was your professor. It felt so wrong, so impossible.  
You had your life ahead of you, you were so talented. I had my career, my ambitions. Know I only have one regret, being the reason you dropped the Gerschwin program. For that I'll never forgive myself. But what it means Therese, is that everything else, I do not regret...

Seeing you last night was like a punch in my gut, I was not expecting it. It took me completely off guard... I've changed Therese. So many things happened in the last decade, I'm older, wiser. You still have your life ahead of you, your career.  
You looked so beautiful, you've grown up into this elegant woman, confident, how could I ever compete with this ? I feel jealous. Jealous of all the people you will meet, you will love...

I just wanted you to know, I have not forgotten Therese. I have not forgotten what happened, but also what did not happen, your letter. All of it I've kept preciously to my heart.

I hope you will find it in your heart to fogive me ? For my cowardice, my selfishness...

Yours,

Carol. »

Therese read the letter again and again, trying to make sense of each single word. Looking for a hidden meaning she might be missing.  
She felt like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Like she could breath again.  
Carol felt something too, she was not alone. But again this was 12 years ago, who cares ? Why did it feel so important, so critical for her to know that ?

The brunette felt conflicted. Like she should close this chapter of her life and move ahead, but she felt more connected than ever to the blonde. Like their bond was still there, after all this time.  
The buzzing of her phone interrupted her thoughts.  
She carefully placed the letter down before accepting the call, trying to collect herself.  
''Hey''  
''Hi Babe ! How are you ?'' Jen cheerful voice echoed into the receiver.  
''Good, I'm... Good. I Miss you '' Therese felt like she would cry. Suddently she wanted to forget everything, she wanted to forget Carol. She wanted to go home, to get back to her life. To come back to the safety that was Jen. She needed someone to hold her, to comfort her.  
''Therese are you okay ?''  
''Yes, just a bit tired I guess'', She smiled sadly, not knowing how to express the miriad of feelings she was experiencing.  
''Okay... Well I see you tommorow ?'' her voice was hopefull.  
''Yes I would not miss it''.  
With that she hang up and started to cry. Why did it all feel so wrong ? Why did everything she so carefully build for herself felt like crashing down in that very moment ?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not super eventful but it's needed for the plot ;-)
> 
> Thank you all for reading !

Chapter 4

''Therese !!!''

The brunette jumped lightly, looking at the young woman in front of her with wide open eyes. Like she was seeing her for the first time.   
''Sorry, what did you say ?'' she nearly stammered.

''You are fucking joking me right? I've been trying to talk to you for the last hour but you keep...you just keep spacing out !!!'' Jen was fuming, more than frustrated.  
''This is important to me, Is it not to you ?''. Deafeated, the woman desentangled herslef from Therese, a sad look on her face. She was ready to cry. 

Alarms went off in the brunette's head. Whad had she done ?  
''Oh no, please don't cry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry''. Reaching out to her girlfriend, she gathered her into her arms and hugged her. ''It will be okay, I'm just tired''.

''Tired ? It's been a month since you've been so aloof, I barely recognize you anymore. It's like you left your mind somewhere''. Jen was getting emotional again, she loved Therese so much, but it felt soo much like it was a one side thing.  
She had been trying to talk to her about finally getting married together after 3 years, she had wanted to surprise her with a proposal during their date night weeks ago. Still she felt Therese retreating more and more inside herself, unreachable.  
Jen knew there was a lot of dark corners in her girlfriend's mind. A lots of shadows, dolorous experiences that she could feel were there somewhere hidden. But Therese would never mention them, she would never open up to her. Always shutting down when she was overwhelmed.

Drying her tears, she pushed backward a little, wanting to look into Therese's eyes. These big doe eyes she felt in love with years ago. Wipping her runny nose with the back of her hand, she sniffled, defeated.  
''You will be gone again next week, I cannot spend my time waiting Therese. Not when you feel even farther away when you are close to me''. Taking a shuddering breath, she tried to desentangle herself from the Brunette totally, needing her space.

''Jen, I'm sorry. I have to work you know that. It's just for 3 weeks, I'll be back after, I promise''. With a trembling smile, she looked at Jen wanting to reassure her it would be alright. But the next words left her mouth before she had time to think them over.

''Why don't you join me ? I'll be staying over for 3 weeks but you could come for an extented weekend or a week ? You'll have a place to stay and I'll join you when I have some free time...''. Looking nervously at Jen, she immediately wanted to take these words back. All of them. But it was too late. The breathtaking smile she received in return gave her all the answer she needed.

''YES!!Yes ! I'll come with you to Paris ! '' Throwing herself at Therese, the auburn could not hide her excitement. She kissed her hard and deep, trying to pour everything into that kiss.  
The brunette tried to disconnect her mind, wanting her life to be simple for once, to be « normal ».  
She gripped Jen's waist closer to her and reciprocated with hunger, loosing herslef into her touch. Still later that night, it's flashes of blonde hair that appeared behind her eyelids as she climaxed .

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''Harge...we agreed'', an elegant hand was running widly through blonde curls, agitated.  
''You can't do that! Not Christmas !...''  
The conversation kept going a few more minutes but there was nothing she could do. She had to let Harge take Rindy for the Christmas period. She would have to travel to NYC to meet with her dad.

Carol cried that night overwhelmed with too many emotions. She thought they finally reached an agreement with the divorce, but how naive had she been. Harge never paid a huge attention to their daughter, letting her take her to France even with the joint custody agreement. Still he sometimes decided he wanted to spend time with Rindy. And she had to comply, make sure he would get what he wanted.  
This time he had told Rindy all about a ski trip to New Jersey with his parents. The young girl was so happy at the perspective of spending some time with her daddy she could not wait to tell Carol the news, not realizing she broke her mom's heart a little while doing so.  
Putting on a brave front, the blonde had called Harge and reluctantly agreed. She wanted to threaten him,to make him realize he could not take that kind of decisions alone. But it was useless. He was playing his cards rights and she knew there was legally nothing she could do.

Preparing herslef to spend her first Chrismtas in Paris alone, she decided to use the little time left she had with her daughter to marvel with her at the sight of the city getting ready for the End year Festivities.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''OMG !!! look ! Look !'' Jen was beyond excited, gripping Therese's hand tightly as she pointed out the eiffel tower from the plane window.  
Laughing at her antics, the brunette squeezed her hand in return, showing a couple more famous contructions that could be seen while they were approaching Charles de Gaulle Airport.

Winter was around the corner already and the cold bit them when they excited the plane.  
''To the Jardin du Faubourg'' Jen pronounced in her best try at French. The taxi driver looked at her curiously before hitting the city trafic.

The two ladies had 2 days before Therese would meet Edouard again, they planned to make the most of this time to visit the city of love.  
''Close your eyes !! '' Jen playfully tried to cover the brunette's eyes with her hands. She spent the last few weeks studying in details the map of the city and realized they were arriving close to destination.

Happy to oblige, Therese covered her eyes, wondering what the auburn had in store for her. Since they agreed they would spend some time together in Paris, Jen was lighter, brighter. And Therese thought that maybe, just maybe, this was not such a bad decision after all ?  
I mean... What were the chances she would meet with Carol again. And even, Jen had been her girlfriend for 3 years. That meant something right.

''Look now !!'' tugging at her arm, Jen was pointing expectantely at a huge building.  
''We will be staying very close to the Opera !!! That way we could go there each night... How romantic''. Batting her eyelashes in a seductive manner, she was proud of herslef. Proud of her little plan. This was going to turn out wonderfully.

The oxygen left Therese lungs as she looked trought the taxi Window.  
She started to panick, she needed to find an escape. When Jen explained she wanted to plan their little trip to surpise her, she had not anticipated this.

''Are you okay ? You seem tense''  
Trying to smile beyond the uneasy feeling that had taking place in her stomach, Therese nodded faintly.  
''Yes sure, that's great. Great''. Jen exited the car swiftly as they pulled back in front of their hotel. It could not have been more than a 10-15mins walk from/to the Opera. How close.Too close...  
Therese looked at the sky, trying to gather all her strenght and courage to follow Jen inside the hotel. She could do this. She needed to do this. For them both. She needed to try harder. 

Later that day :

''Baby !!!!'' The auburn was calling her from the large bathroom.  
''would you hand me my little silver dress ?''  
On auto pilot the brunette did as she was told. She got a light peck on her cheek as a reward.  
''Shouldn't you get ready ? The Ballet starts at 8!''  
Looking at her feet, Therese retreated back to the bedroom, looking at several outfits displayed on the bed. She could do this. She could do this. She could do this. Fuck.

The evening turned out to be uneventful. The show was great, making her forget all about why she had been so upset earlier. She was here with Jen, that was all that mattered. The next few days were spent with the same simplicity, Therese happy to let herself be brought to different places all around the city. On the monday morning, she exited the bed with caution, not wanting to disturb her sleeping girlfriend. She kissed her shoulder lightly, lingering for a few seconds.  
''I can do it'' she repeated herself again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''How is your partner enjoying Paris so far ?''  
Edouard was looking at Therese, amused by the deep frown he could see between her eyes. This young woman was working too hard he thought.

Without a look in his direction, Therese kept her attention to her computer screen.  
''Well she likes it I guess, I mean it's her first time in Paris, it's romantic and all''. Edouard did not miss the bored and distant look on her face. His curiosity was sparked.  
''You don't seem to be feeling the same''

''I'm sorry ?'' The brunette was looking at him now, questionning.

''I mean you don't seem to be so pleased, you look a bit tense dear'' He laughed lightly as Therese's shoulders' straighten even more, her posture anything but relaxed.

''That's okay, you can talk to me you know'' He winked at her.  
Edouard liked Therese very much. He liked how passionnate she was about her work, he liked her professionalism. He knew she was a self made woman and felt kinda protective. He was more and more considering her as his friend.

Frowning, Therese shook her head.  
''I'm sorry Edouard, but I have things to finish...''  
''Fine''. Bitting his lip, he looked at her once more.  
''Did I tell you Therese... Me and Marc...You remember Marc right ? From the Opera''

At the mention of the Opera Therese's head snapped up. Like she had been punched.  
With a knowing smile, he kept going.  
''Well Marc and I, we are... ''a thing'' now. At least I think, I hope'' He was getting all nervous himself, thinking about his new love interest. 

''Oh Edouard ! I had no idea'' laughing lightly, she smiled fondly for the first time that day. Squinting his eyes lightly, he looked at her intently for a few seconds. Like pondering his next move.  
''You know Therese, I've seen you. I've seen you on that balcony that night with Carol Aird''  
Therese immediately looked at the floor, caught off guard.

''I'm not supid...Whatever happened, is still there somewhere. Might be connected to how you seem to be feeling right now...''  
With one last wink, he left the office. Letting Therese alone with her thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel sorry for the way I'm treating Jen's character...  
> Hope you'll like this chapter.
> 
> Thanks for all your comments, kudos, for reading...

Chapter 5

It was now Wednesday and Jen was due to head back to the US on Friday. Therese was both relieved and scared to see her go. She could not explain it.  
Their time together in Paris had been sweet but she could feel the auburn was expecting some kind of grand gesture from her. She was also scared she would decide to officially propose to her...She was not there yet.

''These croissants are decadent...'', wearing only a tank top and a matching pair of white panties, Jen was finishing the last part of their breakfast with apetite. She decided she would wake up early each morning till her departure to not miss a single second with her girlfriend.

Looking at her emails on her ipad, Therese was sitted in one of the comfy armchairs facing the bed, already fully dressed for the day to come. She was sipping slowly on her café crème, not paying much attention to the woman in front of her.

With mischief in her eyes, Jen realized she once more had lost the brunette's attention. Not one to feel defleated easily, she made herself comfortable on the bed, her long legs bend a the knee, making sure her toned figure was in full display. She was looking hungrily at Therese, her business suits always a massive turn on.  
''Are you not hungry ? '' she asked in a sultry voice, trying to get some attention.

Not looking up, Therese, answered in a distant voice.  
''I have to go, my first meeting starts at...'' she looked at her phone ''Fuck I'm late !''.  
Jumping into action, she collected her laptop and phone before heading towards the hotel door.  
She stopped mid way, turned around and gave a chaste kiss to Jen's pouty lips. ''save me some for later'' she winked before leaving the room.

Frustrated, Jen looked at the bedroom ceiling, wondering if she sould take matter into her own hands...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''Are you joining us for lunch ?''

''I'm sorry ?'' Edouard was looking at Therese.

''I'm going for lunch with Marc, do you want to join us ? I can't stand the idea of you spending your lunch hour working...''

''Sorry Edouard but I have to, I need to meet Jen at 6. I promised'' She winced hearing the lame excuse leave her mouth and was not surprised to hear Edouard's deep laugh.

''Okay, you're coming that's it, grab your coat it's cold''.

Without further discussion, she found herslef walking around the streets, tchatting comfortably about the last project they were working on.  
Soon they arrived at a nice little café, not really fancy, but with an Art Nouveau vibe. The place felt like it was stucked in the 1900 's.

''T'en as mis du temps ! On avait dit Midi ! '' Marc stood up elegantly, gesturing for Therese to take a chair. He was feigning annoyance but it was clear to see he was beyond excited to see Edouard.  
They looked at each other intently, before Marc took another seat in front of him.  
A bit confused, Therese did not have time to overthink it before Marc started to speak.

''Okay, so here it is Therese...You look lovely by the way ! Look at these cheekbones, and those eyes...''.  
''We get it Marc ! Please don 't scare the woman off...'' Edouard interupted sternly.

A silent discussion took place between the two men and suddently an uneasy feeling started to permeate Therese.  
That's when she suddently realized : the phone on the table on Marc's side.Too far away to be his... And was there another glass of wine ? Half full. Was it lipstick on it ?

''Now you're back' !'' waving excitedly, Marc gestured towards someone coming towards them.  
A low voice spoke, making Therese's heart top. ''I'm sorry...who... ''  
Stopping the woman mid sentence, Edouard turned around and stood up, kissing her on both cheeks.  
''Carol it's so lovely to meet you again. I know you and Marc were supposed to have lunch together but...Well, We could not resist !!!''. He winked at her, beyond excited to see how their little plan would turn out.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Carol was tchatting animately with Marc about the gala that would happen in 2 months. Still she could tell he was distracted. Paying a lot of attention to his phone, he was nervous, she could tell.

Carol had developped a sort of friendship with Marc. He had been kind to her and had help her find a schedule that would allow her to be there for Rindy. To her it meant the world.  
He was a reassuring figure in her life and she needed it. She liked the way he made her feel important, wanted, and not for the way she looked like. It went far beyond that.

''Okay Mister, so, I'm going to the ladie's now, I'll be back in a few minutes and YOU'll tell me what's happening in that mind of yours''. She smiled at him fondly, laughing when his eyes opened wide, like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  
She tood up and left the table, hips swaying in the direction of the bathroom.

''Dépêche !!!!'' (Hurry Up), Marc quickly typed on his phone. 

At first he was excited about the idea of setting up this little surprise, but now he was not so sure. Whatever they had witnessed between Carol and Therese could have been just friendship, or even pure politness ? Was it even their business to interfere here ? He knew it wasn't. But he could not refuse anything to Ed …And Edouard had been insisting for days now.

He spotted Ed first, then her... Therese. She was beyond beautiful, like he remembered.  
He just had time to collect his thoughts before standing up to greet them.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Carol Exited the bathroom, looking at herslef in the big mirror. Satisfied enough with her reflection, she made it back inside the main room, deep in thoughts.

Coming close to their booth, she immediately noticed her. A brunette. And immediately she knew...  
When Edouard turned around, she could not do anything to avoid what was to come. Steeling herself, she gave one last glance at the brunette's backhead, before taking the offered hand.

''Hi Edouard, what a pleasure. I did not know we were expecting company ?'' she pinned Marc with one of those looks. Making him squirm in his seat.

''And Therese, but you know her already''. With little stars in his eyes, Edouard made room for the two women to great each other. The surprise written on Therese's face was comical and he bent back a little to murmur in her hear. ''Breath darling, it will be alright''. 

Therese gulped lightly, trying to calm her breathing. She clumslily offered a hand to Carol.  
As flustered as she was, she took it, and they stood akwardly shaking hands for a little too long.  
Sensing their discomfort but also the energy surrounding these two, the two men knew they made the righ decision.  
''Ladies, please sit down. Should we order now ?''

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the meantime, Jen was in the suite, calling her mom and telling her all about Paris. She decided not to talk too much about Therese, not knowing what to say or how to explain the uneasy feeling that had settled in her stomach these last few months.

Absently walking around the room while she talked, she noticed Therese had forgotten her wallet on one of the bookshelf. Thinking she might not remember it was there, she picked it up to place it safely in her handbag.  
This simple act made the expensive piece of leather open up a little, letting two neatly folded pieces of paper fall down. Croutching down to look at it, she was shocked to read these few words : 

« Yours,

Carol »

Her blood turned cold instantly. She never heard about a Carol before.

''Listen Mom, I... I have to go, Bye'', hanging up without further notice, she unfolded the two pieces of paper and made her way towards the bed on shaky legs. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''So Therese, I realize I don't know much about you. I remember you saying you attended a music shool in Boston ? How come you ended up working with someone like my Edouard ?''  
Seeing the pointed look Ed was giving him, he quickly added ''Not that what he does is not amazing, it's just...'' He let his sentence unfinished, staring at Therese intently. Like trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Carol was looking a the scene, more than curious herself to know more about the brunette.

Putting her best poker face on, Therese started to explain her background without much details.  
''Well you know, it's just that I was playing piano at the time. And I had this idea that I was good at it and that maybe it could become a thing...'' She laughed at that, wanting to make it sound like a silly joke. ''But well, you know, then I got this scholarship to go to the university and that's it, I graduated in mathematics and IT''.

Whistling, Marc was clearly impressed. ''Mathematics ? How different is this from music...''

''Well not that much actually...'' Therese added, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

Turning now towards Carol, Edouard could not contain his curiosity.  
''So how was she as a student ? I bet she was a hard worker...Do you even remember her ?'' He said the last sentence as a provocation, when he already knew the answer.

Smiling politely, the blonde answered in a neutral way. She felt like this man was able to read her like an open book. She did not like the feeling.  
''Well, to be honest I did not get to know her that much, I've been her professor for couple of months really, no more...''

Frowning, Ed kept pushing ''Well, was she so bad she had to drop the school after 2 months ?'' He was trying to make light of the situtation, touching Therese's forearm affectionately.

That's when something switched in Carol's demeanor. Her voice steely, her face hard.  
''Actually the opposite. She was the most talented student I've ever seen''. She looked at Therese, trying to read her reaction.

Sensing the tension now surrounding them, Edouard tried to make it back to safe ground. ''Well then Therese, I'm impressed. You'll have to show me that one day''. He winked at her.

Still a bit shaken by Carol's answer, the brunette looked at Edouard shyly.  
''Actually I don't play anymore... I haven't since...2008'' She stopped. Looking at her plate.

He made a disapointed pout, clearly not expecting the answer.  
''Why did you stop ? Carol, you need to tell her she needs to start playing again... '' he said conspiratiously.

Looking straight ahead into the blue eyes she knew so well, Therese decided she would not avoid the question.  
''Because I fell in love.''. That was it. It was out. She saw the blonde adverting her gaze, a faint blush covering her face.

''Well, that's that then. To Love !'' Marc refilled their glasses with wine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already a new chapter ??  
> YES! That story is my current drug...
> 
> I've seen Sparky53 and Win7Wil had pointed out there was something not clear with Harge. Well, actually I have not decided yet 100% where to go with this. I'm giving myself some room here to fill the gaps.  
> Answers will be given, that's for sure.
> 
> So this chapter is maybe a small "turning point", finally! When they stop avoiding what's in front of them.
> 
> I already have the plot for Chapter 7 in my mind, just need 45mins to write it down !

Chapter 6

''So it's my 50's birthday next weekend, we are having this massive party at the Palais Vivienne. Ed & I would be delighted to have you Therese''.

Quite surprised by the invitation, the brunette smiled fondly at him.  
''That's lovely, I'll come with Pleasure, thank you''

''Excellent'' he said joining his hands together excitedly. 

''What about you Carol, you still did not give me your answer'', he was squinting his eyes at her, like trying to appear angry but failling miserably.  
Feeling nervous out of sudden, the blonde was not sure how to answer. She honestly had a great time today, she enjoyed the company. If she was honest with herself, the perspective of seeing Therese again made her heart swell. But things were complicated...  
''Sorry Marc, But with Rindy it's going to be difficult and it's her last...''

''Non sense, bring her over, There will be plenty of space for her to sleep''  
''I'm not sure it's a good idea'' She was nervously looking at Therese now.  
''Bring her over ! Right Ed ?''. The man nodded encouragingly, knowing the blonde needed some adult time as well.  
''See ? Done !'' 

The brunette was looking at the exchange with curiosity, Rindy ? What was that ?  
Edouard asked the question she did not dare asking heself.

''May I ask how old is Rindy again ?''.  
Carol blurted the answer a soft smile on her face. ''She is ten'' 

The rest of their meal was spent in silence for Therese, wondering what else she might discover about the blonde. She remembered it now, she said it in her letter. That she had changed, that lots of things happened in the last decade. She now knew there was a full story to be told. She was looking forward to meet this new version of Carol. She was ready to fill the gaps.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was 6.15pm and Therese was waiting for Jen in front of the galerie Gaïa. She had been standing in the cold for 15 minutes when she looked at her phone, looking for a reason why the young woman would be late.  
At 6.20 she decided to call her.  
Panicking when she got still no answer by 6.30, she helled a taxi and made her way back to the hotel, hoping this was just some sort of misunderstanding, that she was Okay.

Scanning her key card on the door, she opened it swiftly, not expecting the scene in front of her.  
Jen was sitting on the bed, all dressed up, coat on. Her suitcase ready at her feet. She did not move an inch when the door opened. She did not even turn her head to aknowledge her presence.

Sensing something was up, the brunette timidly entered the room ''Jen ? Are you okay ? You scared me... I thought..''  
''Stop it. Stop it. Stop it !!!'' The auburn stood up now, walking towards Therese in a menacing way. Like ready to pounce.  
A tense silence settled between the two women, only broken when Jen removed something from her back pocket, throwing it into Therese's face.  
''Wanna tell me about this ?''

Realisation made its way into the brunette's mind. But how to explain...  
''Jen, it's not what you think...'' she started cautiously. Not getting any answer, she kept going.  
''This is... This is about something that happened more than a decade ago... it's nothing.''

Steeling her glare, Jen approached Therese once again.  
''Then why keeping it in your wallet ? Why ?'' Her voice started to falter, her emotions getting in the way. She could feel a sob escaping her mouth, a strangled cry.  
''Therese the letter is from 2 months ago. It's dated from the last time you were in Paris !!''

''So what ?'' The brunette felt defensive now, wanting to deny what what so clear to everyone but her.

''You love her...''

''Wh-What ?''

''This Carol, you still love her...'' This was not a question. This was a statement.

''That is absolutely not true... Jen please, this is some silly letter writ...'' Jen stopped her with her hand.

''Well then if you don't... give me a reason to stay ? Show me you want to be with me, show me you mean it. Kiss ME like you fuckin mean it Therese !''.  
She was looking at her expectantly, sadly, and Therese was once again at loss for words. Frozen.

Not bearing to be in the room one more second, Jen took her trolley and made her way towards the door without looking back. ''Good Bye Therese''.  
With that, she left.

Therese heard the door close. She walked slowly towards the bed, letting its softness enveloppe her for a moment.

She had dreaded this day so much, the moment Jen would realize she was not the one for her. That she deserved better. She had feared it so much. And still, here she was, lying on her back, feeling nothing. Like she was dead inside. Like she had no emotions left in her body.

She spent her evening in auto pilot working, not really knowing what to do with herslef.  
Later that night she realized they were still there, messily discarded on the floor.These 2 pieces of paper... Therese picked them carefully before a sob escaped her throat.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''Rindy !! Come here young lady !''  
Loud footsteps announced the arrival of the little blonde in the room.

''Did you pack for the night sweetheart ?'' Nodding excitedly, Rindy ran back towards her room shouting. ''I'm ready mommy ! I also tidied my room. That way I'll be ready to go tommorow'' 

A shadow crossed the blonde's face. She knew tonight was her last night with Rindy before her departure to New York. At first she thought she sould stay home with her, but her daughter was already a big fan of Marc, she would not take no for an answer. She wanted to attend his birthday party as his « very special guest » as he said. How could she refuse ?

Thinking about it, Carol realized life had been good to them since they arrived. Paris was the new start she needed. 

''All good ! '' Sprinting back in the living room, Rindy was tying her shoes now.

Carol collected her daughter's overnight bag and suitcase. They would directly head to the airport the next morning. It was easier that way. The Palais Vivienne was closer anyway than their appartment. It would allow her daughter to sleep 30 more minutes.

Closing the door behind her, they made their way towards their awaiting Uber driver.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''You need to change darling !! You cannot come tonight looking like .. « this »'', Gesturing towards her « friday look », Edouard left no room for discussion.

''I need to get back to the hotel then...I'm not ever sure I have...''  
'Therese, just go ! You are not needed here...''  
Rolling his eyes in dramatic way, Edouard pulled her arm sternly to direct her towards the door.  
''I'll text you the address ! See you later !''.

Laughing lightly to herself, Therese found herself soon outside the big corporate building with 3 hours to spare. To be honest she was looking forward to this party. After Jen's departure 2 days ago, she needed the distraction. If she was honest with herself she could not wait to see Carol again...

Deciding she could take some time for herself for once, she headed towards the subway, direction Saint Germain des Prés. Here she knew she would find the right outfit for tonight.

She was finally ready earlier than anticipated, and found herslef asking if she could come already. It was only 6pm and the party was not starting before another 2 hours, but she did not want to head back to her empty hotel room. 

The immediate answer made her smile « Just Come ! »

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The Palais Vivienne was magnificent. It was owned by one of Marc's friend, Pierre-Henri. An excentric looking guy in his late forties, definitely used to propose his place to host parties.

Carol arrived minutes earlier with Rindy, her pink backpack in sharp contrast to the Empire style furnitures.  
''My little princess !!! '' Crountching down, Marc Picked the young girl in his arms, tickling her side.  
''Stop !! Stop !!!'' The scene made Carol smile, she knew coming her was the right decision.  
Edouard came in and kissed her cheeks, before inviting her further into the huge corridor.

''So I propose we show her her room ? What do you think ?''  
''Sure, that would be lovely, thanks Ed''. Touching his arm in a friendly gesture, she followed her two hosts across the Palais.

''Mommy !! look at the bed !!''  
They ended up in a large room, with a four poster bed in the center. The room was at the very end of the corridor, to make sure she would not be disturbed by the noise.

The two men left the mother and daughter alone, getting back to the main reception room where the party would take place. The interphone ringed and they realized Therese was awaiting outside.

Letting her into the front garden, they were waiting with the door wide open as she climbed the stairs to the main entrance.  
''Wow, that's huge...''  
Laughing at her disbelief, Marc engulfed her in a light hug, closing the door behind.

He took her coat and disapeared in another room. Therese then spotted Edouard, and waved at him lightly.  
''Oh Therese, you look.....'' Walking towards her, he took her hand reverantly before faking a kiss.  
Laughing at his antics, the brunette thanked him in her best French.

''Is that okay ? I realize it's early... Can I do something ?''  
''My dear, everything will be taken care of. We actually hired a cattering company for the evening. We are awaiting more than 100 guests'' He announced proudly.

Remembering she had a little thing for Marc, she gestured discretly towards the bag in her hand.  
''later''.

Therese heard someone running down the hall and turned just in time to feel a small blonde collapsing against her tights.

''Wooopps sorry !''

The brunette did not need to ask, she immediately recognized those eyes... She could only be...  
''You must be Rindy''. She smiled hesitantly at the little girl.

Delighted this stranger knew her name, Rindy was beaming. ''You know my name!!!''

Laughing at her excitment, Therese nodded before poking the little girl's nose with her finger.  
Looking at her in awe, Rindy found herself a little shy suddently.  
''You are very pretty...'' Looking at her feet, she did not dare looking at the woman's eyes, mesmerized by the elegance she was exuding. 

''Well thank you, you're beautiful yourself, like your mommy''  
Catching herslef a little too late, Therese realized what had escaped her mouth.

She straighten her back and another mass of blonde hair caught her eyes. Carol was there in the doorway, casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. Blushing profusely, the brunette did not know for how long she had been standing there. Had she heard ?

''Hi'' she said simply.

''Bonsoir Therese''. Carol smiled. Looking at her intently.  
The brunette felt her face flush even more, the blue eyes boring into her.  
Finally, the blonde adverted her gaze, addressing her daughter in French. The little girl disapeared quickly leaving the two women alone.

''She looks just like you...'' Therese was looking at the blonde now.  
''I know'' Carol said absentmindly, still gazing at Therese. ''And we often think the same too...'' she added.

Not really sure where this was coming from, Therese smiled nervously, massaging her neck with her hand.  
The blonde approached her in a couple of elegant strides, touching her arm lightly. So lightly she might have missed it would her body not have been on fire already. She tilted her head to the side, close to the brunette's hear.  
''You look beautiful Therese''.  
With that, she disapeared down the hall.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one...
> 
> I'll be back at work tomorrow so I won't update as much !
> 
> Thanks as always for reading and your comments !

Chapter 7

Early guests started to fill the space and soon Therese was surrounded by dozens of people.  
Ed, always the charming host, introduced herself to some chosen friends of his, not wanting her to feel lonely.  
Discussions flowed easily and the brunette was really enjoying the evening. Still her mind was not 100% there and she kept a close eye on the far end of the room, not wanting to miss an appearance from the blonde. Since their little exchange an hour ago, she had not spotted Carol once. 

Therese was getting a lot of attention. Men and women looking at her with curiosity and envy whenever they had entered the room. To be honest, tonight she dressed to impress. She knew people would look at her. She was looking for the attention. Craving it.  
She earlier choose to wear a black Chanel officer jacket with a pristine high collar button down shirt underneath. She paired it with a pair of ankle lenght leather trousers and golden stilletos.  
Her hair was neatly done in a tight bun, her makeup smoky but minimal. The entire look coupled with her angular face and big green eyes was giving her a very powerful vibe. Like she was unreachable, definitely oozing charm and confidence. 

After her third glass of champagne, she felt the call of nature and excused herself looking for the closest bathroom.  
Walking around the main hall, she realized the ground level had more doors than an airport. She felt quite lost, not daring opening them by fear to appear inapropriate.  
Spotting a nice looking man with a big platter of oysters, she aked him for directions before walking down the same hall once more.  
The bathroom was as luxurious as the rest of the place, and the brunette wondered how someone could afford to live here permanently. Washing her hands, she looked at herslef in the mirror briefly, before finding herself walking down the hall once more. The massive portraits displayed on the walls caught her attention and she stopped for a moment, admiring the painting of a woman : « Marie-Genevieve, Comptesse » the sign said. She was beautiful, with blonde hair, blue eyes...''

''Pleaaaaazzzzzzz, Mommy !''  
A little voice startled her.  
She realized one of the doors was slightly ajar and could hear voices coming from the inside.

''Mama it's her! it's Therezzzz''

A second later, the door was wide open and the petite blonde threw herslef at her.  
''Hi Rindy''  
''Hi Therezzz » she could not get the pronunciation quite right, but it was endearing, to say the least.

''How do you know my name little Mrs ?'' she crounched down, to be at eye level with the little girl, giggling when she opened her blue eyes wide.  
''Mommy told me'' she said matter of factly, looking at her bare feet.  
''Did she ?'', an amused looking Therese craned her neck a little to look inside the room, spotting Carol immediately. The two women looked at each other softly.

''Therezzz would you read me a story ?'' The hope in her eyes made the brunette's inside melt. Looking at the blonde for permision, she nodded.  
''Yes, Yes I would. What should we read then ?''

Taking her hand, the little blonde directed her towards her bedroom for the night.  
''But are you not too old for stories ?'' The brunette was biting her tongue at the look the girl was giving her. So much like her mom.   
''You are never too old for stories. Besides, I'll be the one reading. You listen''.  
She was looking at her sternly, picking a book and making sure Therese would not leave the room.

''She is a bossy one, good luck''. With that, Carol winked at her before exiting the room.  
''I'll be back to kiss you good night sweet pea, be good !''

Not really interested with what her mom had to say, Rindy was already in her bed, patting the place next to her for Therese to sit.  
''Okay, so we are going to read this...'' She pushed the book in her face, before taking it back on her lap an starting to read.  
After a few moments, the brunette could feel the little girl was a bit distracted with her reading. She was pausing from time to time, looking at her, like frozen.  
Sensing she was up to something, Therese put her hand on her cheek to direct her attention towards her.  
''You're alright here ? You seem a little distracted''.  
Smiling shyly, Rindy, adverted her gaze, looking at her hands.

''Tell me, what is it ?''  
Taking the opportunity that was offered to her, the little blonde pondered how to start before speaking softly, as if she was afraid someone could hear her.  
''Will you make my mama happy during Christmas ?''

Taken aback with the question, Therese did not know how to answer.

''She is sad, always sad... I'm going to daddy's for Christmas but I know she will be sad''.  
Looking at the brunette with teary eyes, she finally shared what had been on her mind.  
''Will you make sure she is not sad when I'm away ?''

Not expecting this, Therese took a deep breath, trying to make sense of what Rindy just said. Her teary blue eyes not helping.  
''Oh Rindy, your mommy will be okay, Marc and Ed will be here...''  
Nodding shyly, the little blonde bit her lower lip before continuing.  
''You promise you will make sure my mommy is not sad ?''  
''I promise''.  
With that she kissed Rindy on her forehead before the girl resumed he reading.

She kept repeating the short discussion in her head. Not knowing what to make out of it.  
She could tell Rindy was worried about her mother. But why did she decide to share this with her ? They barely met.

''Rindy baby, time to go to bed ! Remember your plane is at 6.30 tomorrow !''  
Carol's voice echoed in the room, ending the little moment they shared.

''Good night Rindy''. With that, she kissed the little girl on both cheeks before leaving the bedroom, daring to touch the blonde's forearm lightly on her way out.

Alone with her mom, Rindy hugged her tightly before murmuring in her hear.  
''I like Therezzz»

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was around 2 in the morning and the party was definitely on. Guests were dancing and tchatting animatedly.  
Still, Therese could tell the blonde's mind had been somewhere else. She had been looking at her for the last hours and she seemed to be retreating more and more withing herself. Not engaging much with the other guests anymore.  
Debating with herself for a good hour if she sould go talk to her or not.The brunette decided she had to. She owed it to Rindy. 

''Hey, Are you okay ? You seem miles away''  
The blonde looked at her softly, nursing a glass of wine and a cigarette.

''I'm fine. What about you, you seem to be in your element here...'' She gestured at the luxurious place, looking between the brunette's eyes and the ground.

''Well, I'm okay I guess''... The silence settled between the pair before Therese found the courage to push the matter a bit more.  
''You know, we havent seen each other in more than a decade, but I'm...here'' ''If you want me to...'' Oh God she was rambling now. It had been clear in her head but she realized it was coming out quite messily from her mouth.  
''If you want to talk or you know... I mean... '' Carol was looking at her with curiosity and a hint of apprehension. She was still silent, now looking at her glass.

Feeling the alcool coursing into her veins, Therese placed a tentative hand on the blonde's cheek, wanting to get her attention. Not expecting the move, the blonde snapped her eyes up immediately, a shuddering breath leaving her mouth. How she craved that contact, she did not realize how much till now.

''I see sadness in your eyes, and I can't stand the idea of you being sad. I could not before and that did not change...'' Speaking softly, Therese was looking at her fondly, caressing her cheek with her thumb lightly.  


''My little savior...'' Carol tried to make light of the situation, straightening her shoulders making Therese drop her hand to her side.

''I'm okay Therese, I don't need...'' the blonde did not know how to finish. ''I don't need anything''.  
Collecting her thoughts, she was not sure how much she wanted to share.  
''But thank you, that means a lot to me''. She tried to convey in her look the emotions that she could not face, marvelling at how strong the woman in front of her had become. Much stronger than her.

''I should try to get some sleep, I have to wake up at 4'.' Running a nervous hand through her hair. Carol was trying to find the right words.  
''Will I see you again ?'' She tentatively asked.

Therese hold her gaze for a moment. Her heart missing a beat at the question.  
''Do you want to ?''  
Silence.  
''Yes. Yes I would. I mean if you would''. Releasing a breath, the blonde looked so small. Vulnerable once again.

Therese could not stand it anymore, she needed to touch her, to feel her close. To feel her safe.

''Can I hug you ?'' Taking aback by the question, Carol felt tears burning her eyes. She was overwhelmed by too many conflicting emotions. Lip trembling.

Sensing her turmoil, Therese moved forwards and drapped her arms around her. How good it felt to have her back in her arms. Soon a tear fell down her neck, wetting her skin and she hugged her tighter, in a comforting manner.  
''Rindy will be okay...'' With that, the blonde let herself go as heavy sobs wracked her body.  
Therese decided to move them towards an empty sofa secluded in a corner. She cradled the blonde's head on her lap, scratching her scalp lightly, soothingly. 

''Do you have a bedroom here ?'' Therese was suddently craving some intimacy. Feeling very protective, she did not want people to see the blonde in her current state.  
Sniffling softly, Carol straightened herself, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.  
''Yes, just down the hall...''  
Taking her hand and lacing their fingers together, Therese tugged at her arm, and the two women made their way towards the room. 

Once inside, Therese let go, looking for the interuptor, before spotting the massive bed in the middle.  
Turning the comforter down, she gestured for Carol to get in. Still overwhelmed, the blonde did not say a word, removing her shoes before carefully lying herself on the cold sheets.

''Do you have an alarm ?'' The brunette spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the moment.  
''Yes it's on already...''  
''Okay, so try to get some sleep now, we are all down the hall if you need...''  
''Therese...''  
''Yes''  
''Please stay''.

Not overthinking it, Therese slowly removed her jacket and stilettos, before making her way to the other side of the large bed. Carol extended her arm in the opposite direction and soon the room was plundged into darkness.  
Not wanting to break the connection, the brunette hesitated one moment before rolling over, spooning Carol but not touching, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.  
Sensing her hesitation but craving proximity, Carol fumbled for the brunette's hand and took it in hers intervining their fingers. She placed it carefully around her, creating a protective cocoon made of Therese's body. She kissed her hand lightly before falling into a light slumber.

Not sure of what had just happened, the brunette curled herslef against the blonde's back. Not daring to fall asleep. She spent the next hour just enjoying their closeness, liking the feel of her soft hair tickling her nose.

She must have given up at some point cause when she woke up, she was alone and the sun already up.

Only the very distinct smell of Carol on the adjacent pillow was telling her this had not been a dream. She breathed the material in, not wanting to leave the comfort of the bed they shared.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My... I could not help myself...  
> I'm getting kicked for the time I'm spending on this...
> 
> Thank you so much for your comments, I'm still surprised people might actually be enjoying my English babblings! 
> 
> Take care,

Chapter 8

It was now sunday morning, and Carol was looking at the pouring rain through her kitchen window. How sad looking was Paris on a rainy day she thought. How empty felt her apaprtment without Rindy bouncing around the walls...

The blonde had not slept well. Not able to shut her mind off, the event of that evening, that night, engraved into her bones.

She remembered waking up in the middle of the night, was it yesterday ? It felt so far away, but the memory so vivid...Therese was curled on her side, deep in sleep, an arm carefully layed on her middle. She had felt safe, she had felt happy then.   
Looking at her phone in the darkness, she had then realized she had 15 mins to spare. She decided to spend this time wisely, just enjoying the closeness of another human body close to her. A sensation that became quite foreign these last years.   
Turning around soflty in her arms, she remembered tracing the outline of Therese's face with the back of her fingers. The light light from the street allowing her to admire the woman without the fear of being seen.  
The brunettestired a little, tightening her hold on her instinctively.

Carol wondered how things could be so different now between them. It felt like the tables had turned somehow. Like Therese was now the one in control and she was the admirative one, looking from afar, not feeling good enough. She could not help but wonder how the fiery young woman might be considering her now. Probably like a long lost friend ? Or a silly teenager crush ? Or worst, a depressed older woman...  
Feeling her warm breath tickling her neck, she shuddered, goosebumps erupting on her skin. She knew a long lost monster had been awaken that morning. Something she had not felt in years, scary by its intensity. Carol tensed and stood still, afraid she would do something stupid and break this moment.

Reluctantly, she carefully removed Therese's arm from her side, and left the bed. Fumbling for her shoes, she peeked one last glance at the brunette before leaving the room.

An that was it. She helped a barely awake rindy get ready, before they made their way towards the aiport. Mother and daughter hugged tightly before Rindy had to say goodbye. The airport crew in charge of children gave her a special travel kit and a big tag with her name on it. She proudly stuck it to her jumper, smiling goofily at her mother.  
Waving throught the security check glass windows, Carol blew her one last kiss before seeing her little girl disapear.  
''Take good care of my little girl'' she said to noone, suddently feeling emotionnal.

Not wanting to stay any longer in the nearly empty airport, she made her way back towards her appartment, busying herself with furniture shopping the remaining part of the day. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next monday, life was back to normal in Paris, at least in appearance.

Therese was back at work, the events of the previous week giving her a pounding headache.  
Between Jen's early departure, Rindy's teary confidence and the unexpected nap she had shared with Carol, she did not even know where to start.

Steeling herself, she knew she could not let this affect her. She had a job to do, a project to lead.

It's deep in thoughts, staring into space, that Ed found her that day. Not used to see her so unfocused, he took a moment to apraise her, before deciding to let her be.   
His mission had been fulfilled masterfully. He had seen her escape Carol's bedroom the other day, there was no need to draw it for him...

With a little smile, he made it to his own office, hoping it would be alright for them. He liked the two women fondly already and would be saddened if one of them was to suffer because of his extra push.

MARC B.: ''T'as le numéro de Thérèse ?''  
The little bell of his phone indicated the incoming message. Scrunching his eyebrows, he knew immediately something was up. Not wanting to be in the way, he did not miss a bit and shared the information.

EDOUARD D. : ''Edouard had shared with you « Therese Belivet »''

MARC : >3 

Smiling at his phone screen, he put it back in his pants pocket, refocusing on his emails.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The day was quite uneventful and Therese got back to her hotel room after 7pm.   
This was her last night there she decided, not wanting to be reminded of Jen's presence everytime she crossed the door.  
Ed had advised her a little airbnb not too far from the office, well furnished and more homey than her big random hotel room.

Picking her phone absentmindely, she realized she had one missed phone call. The number was unknown, but she could tell it was French.   
Not thinking too much about it, she was about to answer some text messages when it hit her. Carol.

Heart beating wildly, she was surprised to say the least.   
Did the blonde really intend to see her again ? Their night together felt akward to Therese. Like a one night strand where the object of your affection did not even dare sayin goodbye ? She felt a bit offended, even if deep down she ratioalized, knowing Carol had probably not wanted to wake her up.  
Still it stung a little, this silence. Like she was back to square one. Like the blonde was escaping once again.

Her curiosity piqued, she did not hesitate and dialed the number back.  
It ringed. Once, Twice...   
She was ready to hang up when a deep voice answered.

''Therese''  
''Carol''

It was there, it was simple. But the simple relief she could hear in Carol's voice was giving her all the reassurance she needed.

''How are you doing ?''  
Laughing lightly at the timid atempt at small talk, the blonde breathed heavily. Probably smoking thought Therese.  
''Good, what about you ?''  
''Good'' Two could play the game. She smiled.

If Carol wanted something from here, she had to speak. She could not be always the one making the first step. Just this time, she needed her to take the initative.  
As if she heard her thoughts, the blonde cleared her throat lightly before blurting her next sentence.

''Would-you-like-to-come-to-my-place-tomorrow ?'' She said it in one breath. Chastising herslef for appearing so unsure. How ridiculous she felt.

''Excuse me ?'' Not sure she heard correctly, the brunette had to ask again.  
A little silence settled in, before Carol asked again.  
''At my place, tomorrow evening ?'' 'I could cook for you'' she quickly added.

Surprised by the offer, Therese felt like she was a teenager again, her cheeks growing red.   
Was she asking her out ? And should she say yes ? The answer came easy.  
''What time ?''

Releasing a breath, Carol gave her the details before they said goodbye.

Tomorrow, she would spend the evening with Carol fucking Aird. She was thrilled.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Therese woke up feeling increadibly good. She slept soundly for the first time in months and the effect of the jetlag had dissipated. She had told Ed yesterday she would be late as she needed to check-in to her new place.

Packing her belongings, she spotted a necklace, neatly placed on one of the shelf.   
She recognized it instantly, she gave it to Jen for their first anniversary. Taking it carefully, she looked at it with a sad smile before letting it slide into her wallet.  
Therese felt guilty for the situation with Jen, for not calling her since she left. She knew she owed her an explation, but she did not want to give her false hopes by contacting her now. She was quite looking forward to make the breakup official, she just needed to get the courage to do it. She was being a chicken and she knew it.

Settling into her new place, she realized she would not have time to change before heading to Carol's that night. She then decided to change into something that would both fit the work day ahead and her evening rendez-vous.  
She went for a pair of black skinny jeans and a matching silk blouse with a loose bow at the collar. She grabed her black wool blazer with the golden embroideries and left.   
She looked good she knew, but a bit more relaxed... She had left her stilettos in, chosing instead a pair of brown derbies. 

Deciding to walk to the office instead of taking the subway, she made a mental note to buy flowers for Carol. Looking at her phone, she was ready to type her request into Google when she realized she had received a message.

''Hope you like lamb, see you soon, C.''

It's with a massive bouquet of white rose & pink peonies and a matching smile on her face she made her appearance at the office that day. Edouard felt nearly blinded at the vision of her pearly teeth. He did not miss the flowers either and thought it was a bit too much... But well, who was he to judge ?

At 7.15 sharp, and 15mins late, Therese was in front of the building. N°26.  
She looked at the names on her right before pressing the ''C. Aird'' button. Three long seconds later the door buzzed and she pushed it, amazed at the weight of the antique piece of wood.  
Climbing the stairs swiftly, a door swang wide open on her left, revealing a smiling Carol.

''Hey there''.  
Therese approached her timidly, Offering her the flowers.  
''They are for you''. She was not used to feeling shy, but often Carol had this effect on her.

Taking the flowers with appreciation, the blonde pushed herslef out of the way to let her in.  
The brunette moved forward, and felt the blonde engulfe her in a one-arm hug, bouquet in the other.  
The young woman smiled, touched by the intimate gesture. She squeezed the blonde softly before releasing her. 

Soon Carol was leading the way down a small corridor, and lead her towards a large living room.  
That's when Therese noticed, how at ease the blonde was. No trace of the anxious woman she met before. Here in her home, she was Carol Aird again.

Sudying her, her appearance came to a shock to Therese and she looked at her with fondness.  
Gone were the power suit and heels, the impeccable make up and hairstyle.   
The blonde was wearing simple grey yoga pants & a light longsleeve t-shirt. Her face bare or close to, the tip of her hair still damp from a shower she guessed, and thick black frames on her nose.  
Still Therese could not remind herself of a moment she found her more desirable. Here she was in all her glory, walls down, raw, and increadibly beautiful.  
Heart in her throat, she did not realize she had been staring that long, still a small blush covered Carol's cheeks.  
Not the least sorry to be caught, Therese decided to let the moment go for now. They would have time for this later... Clearing her mind, she started pacing along the huge room, taking into her surroundings and the various items scattered around the place.

The blonde excused herself one moment, looking for a bottle of wine and glasses.  
She came back couple of minutes later, observing the brunette from the opposite door, marvelling at the creature that had appeared on her doorstep that night.

Still she knew. Discussions would have to happen. Answers would have to be given. She was not so sure how much she felt ready to share at that moment. But try she would.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love !  
> Actually I have a request for you. For those happy to leave comments ? Could you type in your country ? Just to feed my curiosity ;-)
> 
> This chapter is intense. Be warned.  
> I'm afraid the format might be a bit difficult to read. Lots of monologues. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Chapter 9

''Your place is nice...''  
''Thanks'', adverting her gaze, Carol handed a glass of wine to a grateful Therese.  
Both were now looking at the view, the night giving them a perfect glimpse of ''la ville lumière''.  
A comfortable silence settled between them, and the blonde felt like she had to break it.

'' You might have wondered why I invited you over here...'' She faltered, smiling softly at nothing in particular. Deep in thoughts.  
''We could have met at a nearby restaurant, but well... I know what it's like to spend your life in hotels and I told myself a home cooked meal might sound more appealing.'' She finished in a breath, the brunette gazing at her with adoration.

''Oh Carol.. I just wanted to see you again. The place did not matter...Even if I have to say I'm pleased to be here tonight. At yours.''  
The blonde smiled in return, this was going better than anticipated. She felt like her body was suddently awakening under the intensity of the brunette's gaze. Like a warm blanket or maybe like a scortching hot fire. This felt good. There was no akwardness anymore. It felt just homey to have her here. Normal almost.

''So Let's toast, To Paris then ?''  
''To Paris'' Therese replied with mischief in her eyes.

The two women sat on a nearby sofa, not too close, not too far. Just happy to be in each other's presence, wondering what the evening would hold. 

''So Therese, tell me... What happened these last 12 years ? I realize I didn't know much about you then. But now... it feels like we are complete strangers to each oher. You've changed so much, grown into this georgous woman...''  
Removing her glasses for good mesure, the blonde looked at the glass of wine she was holding, the weight of these years spent appart feeling heavier each passing second.

Sensing a switch in her demeanor, Therese was wondering what was happening in the blonde's mind.  
''Who cares about what happened this last decade ? There is nothing like the present...''  
''Well I do...''  
''Why ?''  
''Because...'' ''Because this is what makes you who you are now, I guess...''

Nodding slowly, the brunette pondered how to answer.  
''I guess you know most of it anyway, It's out on Linkedin if you want the details'' She winked playfully.  
Laughing slowly, Carol took a sip of her wine.  
'' So where do you live now ? Still in Boston ?''  
''New York''  
''Well, that's that then... New York'' 

''You know Carol, I think if one of us is all mysterious, it's you. You've always been...''  
''Me ?'' ''C'mon you were little Mrs « I'm too cool for school », ''I'm too busy for this shit'''. The blonde was laughing freely, clearly amused.  
''I was not !'' Therese snorted indignantly  
''Sure thing you were...''  
''Fine ! '' ''but that did not stop me from having a crush on you. So it had to do with the fact you were the mysterious one...''  
Tensing a little bit at the mention of being Therese Teenage years'crush, Carol adverted her gaze.

''Why ?''

Therese was laughing fondly, amused at the serious expression now adorning the blonde's face.

''Why were you all mysterious ? Well to start with, you were new so noone knew much about you. You were this brilliant musician but your personnal life was a complete mystery...''

Therese paused a moment, pondering her next words.  
''You were probably married already back then....''

Feeling suddently very exposed, the blonde was not sure she wanted to know the answer to her next question.  
''How-'' ''How did you know ?''  
''Well... I did not know at the time, that the thing. Would I have known then ? I would have for sure not made a fool of myself that way. Not that It would have changed anything..''.

''I would have still been your professor'' 

''No. I would have nursed the same feelings for you...'' That was it, simple.  
Carol was at loss for words, this was unexpected

''So it's true then. You were married back then ?'' Therese was getting serious, she felt suddently ridiculous. She did not know anything about this woman, how could she feel so strongly about her ? 

''Therese...''  
''Tell me...''  
''Why ? You said yourself there is nothing like the present''

Annoyed at the blonde's reaction, the brunette started to pace around the room, clearly agitated.  
''Could you be honest ? For once ? I'm tired of these little power games..''  
''I'm not playing'' 'You don't undestand... Therese, you are so young...''  
''Stop it ! STOP it'' ''Here we are again ? With you telling me I'm a nice little girl ?''

''Therese, that's not that...'' Carol stood up as well now, trying to calm the furious brunette.

''I'm a fucking grown up Carol, I'm turning 30... Please. Please. Talk to me ?''  
She was pleading with her eyes, her rage gone. 

Taking a deep breath, the blonde nodded slowly,  
''What do you want to know ?'' ''How..How do you know even I was married then ?'' She paused, unsure.

'Well start by the beginning...''  
Exasperated, Therese retrieved her phone from her pocket before typing quickly. She pushed the item directly in the blonde's face « Wikipedia : Carol Aird' ». That was it.

''Should we sit down Therese ? I can't stand the sight of you being so... agitated. Please sit down with me would you ?'' There was a final tone into Carol's voice, leaving no room for discussion. Still there was a hint of fear in it. The brunette wondered if she was steeling herself for a rejection to come ?

Now back on the sofa, Carol refilled their glasses before collecting her thoughts for a few seconds.

''I was born in New Jersey under the name of Ross. I come from money. That you have to understand Therese... ''  
''For my parents, it was... My duty to breed with someone my own race ? ''  
She was cringing at her own choice of words. Not letting the brunette interrupt, she continued.

''I met Harge Aird when I was in my early twenties. He was the one my parents chose for me. At first I did not want to date him, but soon I felt like it was who I should become. A wealthy man's wife.I wanted to please my parents Therese... I wanted to see them proud... Harge and I married in 2003.  
It was okay I guess, he was a nice enough man, I just knew I did not love him enough... Long story short, I realized he had been cheating on me. I was devastated, I felt humilated, like I failled myself, my parents, him... I became a renown musician by then, but seems like I was still not good enough as a woman, as a wife. He never understood my choice of career as well which made it difficult. He was using our time appart when I was traveling to fuck some random girls as he pleased...''

Feeling like she was getting a bit emotional, she made a pause, grabbing a hand of pistachios before cracking them open. Therese was still silent, but looking at her intently, supporting her with her gaze. She would wait for her to continue. She would give her time...

''That's when I accepted the job at the Gerschwin, We decided to make a break. To be honest I did not give him any choice here. I needed an escape. Abby... Abby Gherardt, helped me find that position, I could not have dreamt better...I was slowly getting my confidence back, building myself away from him....free''  
''Then... The academic year started, and you... You made it into my classroom that day...''

Feeling sorry by what she heard, Therese felt guilty.  
''You definitely did not need my teenager drama into your life... I'm sorry. I had no idea it was that bad... I could sense... I could sense a saddness in you, but I had no idea...''

Drying a tear that had escaped her eye, Carol, smiled sadly. 

She heard Therese laugh softly, in disbelief, she was not sure what was so amusing in what she had just shared.

''That guy is a dick ! I mean... He had you and he fucking cheated on you ? OMG Carol'' I swear if I had met him back them, I would have killed the poor guy.  
''You probably would have'' She replied, smiling sadly now. A comfortable silence settled between them.

''But then... Rindy ?'' This was so confusing, the brunette was completely taken aback by this. Like the blonde had had a full life without her. Well that was probably the case actually...

''When you left, I was....I had to know for sure...'' she stopped.  
''Harge came back, he wanted us to try again. He heard about my little... dalliances with women. There had been Women after you Therese.'' She paused, like ashamed. Diverting her gaze.  
''He was threatening me to tell my parents. To make it a public information. Like I was some sort of deviant...'' 'To be honest, the thought of my family and friends knowing I was attracted to women... It was... hard. I could not cope with it. Even if deep down I knew it was a bad decision... Our little...whatever it was between you and I echoed in my head for a while and I finally told myself he was right. I was not normal, how could I ? Feeling something for a young student ?''  
Carol was trembling, reliving that part of her existence was hard. She never wanted to feel that way again . Like she was a monster, like she was worthless.

Therese could not stand seeing her suffer any longer. She took both her hands in hers.

''Carol. What they said... What they did...'' She moved forward on the sofa, pressing her forehead against the blonde's, needing the connection.  
''None of what they said was true...''

Releasing a shaking breath, tears kept falling down Carol's cheek.  
''I know that now... But at the time...'' ''At the time it felt like the right decision.  
'' I then accepted to get back to Harge, to save appearences. He did not love me but divorcing was agaisnt his morals. She we lived this fake life for another decade, and we decided to get a child. That was the only decision I did not regret...That's how Rindy came up... the sunshine of my life...I don't know if I would still be here without my precious girl''.

Carol was crying now, her shoulders shaking. Therese did not hesitate and took her in her arms.

Wanting to get it all out of her chest, she continued. It felt good to express these thoughts out loud, after all these years spent locked into a loveless marriage.

''It's for her... I decided I could not do it anymore...He threatened me again, and this is when Marc came into the picture. He proposed me this job in Paris. I just neded to keep being this perfect housewife for a little while longer, then I would ask for a divorce and ask for joint custody. There was nothing he could do to stop me.'' ''This is where we are now, I did not have the heart to remove Rindy from her father. She loves her very much... The divorce is finalized'' ''He told... He told everyone about what happeend back then, about my...Lifestyle. Since then, my parents refuse to talk to me. I'm a dishonor to them, the divorce not helping. So Rindy and I relocated 2 months ago, to start a new life here, far from my family, far from all these memories. Far from Harge''

''So to answer your question Therese, I'm this old fucking depressed divorcee, this is who am I now...Theres is nothing mysterious. Just a lot of hurt''  
She was trying to escape the brunettes' arms, not wanting to feel so vulnerable, but the young woman did not allow it. Strengtening her embrace.

''Stay here, I'm not done hugging you'' Her honesty made Carol smile. To be honest she was craving the contact, she was just feeling very self conscious at the moment. Weak.

''I'll keep hugging you for all these things they said, all these things they did to you. I'll hug you for all these times you needed it but did not get it''.  
That made Carol cry again. But her chest felt lighter.  
How she admired Therese's strenght. Her savior, with the heart of a lion. 

Chuckling sofly while wiping some tears that had wetted the brunette's jacket, she replied.  
''Will take a while''

''I have all the time in the world. I'm here now''.


	10. Cahpter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your answers !  
> I'm super Impressed to see so many nationalities are represented.  
> I'm totally new to the game so I'm like a toddler, discovering it all ;-)
> 
> Also I'm looking at some Carol-related videos to give me some inspiration (I'm close to my first writer block). I found this parody with Kate McKinnon.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QljnNIBtaI  
> If you did not watch it... But I guess everyone did but me! This video killed me...
> 
> So I need to find some inspiration back,
> 
> Cheers

Chapter 10

The two women were still on the sofa, drapped in each others arms. Carol's tears were long gone by now and they were just enjoying their closeness. In silence. 

''Therese... What are we doing ?'' a deep breath left her nose.

''Carol, stop overthinking'' ''Please'', the brunette tried to reassure, holding her a bit tighter.

''But we barely know each other'' she whispered...

''And what ? We are not doing anything wrong. We're just two old souls playing catchup after a decade appart. See ? Nothing to worry about''. The brunette smiled, kissing Carol's temple lightly. It felt so normal.  
Then she realized what just escaped her mouth and she could not explain what came over her.   
« Two old souls playing catchup » ? This sounded so far away from what she was feeling...

The two women were pondering the brunette's last sentence in silence, not sure how to navigate around this statement.  
The atmosphere changed around them and the Therese chastised herslef for opening her mouth.

Finally, Carol desentangled herself, needing some space. She was confused . Too many mixed messages here. She excused herslef heading to the kitchen.  
''So any plan for Christmas ? '' She called, changing the topic, being the perfect host again. 

''Well, I'm not quite sure actually, I'll be back in New York on the 23rd …''

''Oh, okay... Well I guess there is some nice shopping to do here, if ever you've got presents to buy...''

Therese was not sure, but she felt like the blonde was fishing for information. She did not want her to walk on eggshells around her. Their time together felt too important to her to be wasted that way.

''Carol'' she said in a breath, a sad smile on her face. ''You can ask me things you know...''

Still in the kitchen, Carol looked at the ground, she knew she had been caught.   
Plastering a smile on her face, she came back carrying a rack of lamb, indicating the dining table with her head. ''Should we ?''

Therese was not buying it, she sat in front of her, waiting impatiently for the blonde to fill their plates.

Sensing she was being stared at, Carol fidgetted a little bit with a spoon of green beens, not sure if she was ready to get the answers to her questions. The intensity of the Brunette gaze made her flinch.

''I was just wondering about your life in New York that's all...'' .   
The unexpected following silence, made her raised her eyes, staring with curiosity at a blank looking Therese.

''Oh okay, what do you want to know ?'' She stammered. A bit uncomfortable she could tell.

''Well whatever you would be happy to tell me...'' 

Taking a large gulp of her wine, the brunette decided to start with the basics.  
''Well, I'm living in a loft in Manhattan, I've been living there for 5 years now...''

''On your own ?'' 

Straight to the point she thought. She was taken off guard by the question. Asked bluntly.  
''Well...'' ''N-Yes ''. . 

Carol, did not miss a bit and her heart constricted. There was someone, she could feel it.  
''Tell me...'' She asked softly, looking at the brunette for answers.

''Well, there is Jen...'' she stopped, hesitating how to best explain the situation.   
''But her and I are no longer together I guess''. She was suddently feeling annoyed. She did not want to talk about Jen, especially with Carol.

''You guess ?''

''It's not... Official'' She corrected.

''I'm sorry Therese, I'm the old one here... I don't get it. Are you involved with someone ?'' Carol was blushing a bit as she asked the question. She felt warm out of sudden, nervous.

''No, I mean it's complicated...'' Therese tensed, feeling like she was loosing ground.

''Well that's that then''. Sensing the brunette's clear discomfort, Carol dropped the subject.

The rest of the evening was spent in relative silence, the two women catching up on light topics like old friends would.

Still Carol could not help feeling jealous of this mysterious Jen. She could tell there was much more to say than what the brunette shared, but it was okay. For know she felt better without the details.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She did not sleep well that night and woke up earlier than usual, deep in thoughts.   
Running had always been a way for her to feel grounded, in control.   
Today was no different and she spent an extra 15 minutes pacing the empty parisian streets, following the Seine before stopping by her favorite bakery.

After a light breakfast, she stripped out of her sport clothes, looking for her bathroom scale.   
Even if she was not obsessed with her appearance, Carol was definitely self conscious. Probably more than most women.   
Her devastating marriage and 46 years had left some visible scars on her body and soul.

She knew the lines on her face were depper than they probably should. The worry and unhapiness she felt for years engraved in her skin. Her body as well did not look as it used to. Too saggy for her liking, not perfect enough to satisfy her.   
Looking at herself in the mirror, she traced the barely visible stretch marks on her lower abdomen, these scars being the only one she associated with a positive memory.  
Feeling this uneasy feeling of not being ''good enough'' settling in, she stopped her little inspection and hopped into the shower. Letting the hot water losen her muscles.

Still, she felt different that morning. Like her skin was on fire.   
She could feel each droplet leaving a little print on her shoulders, on her back. She could feel her body aching, asking for a long awaited release. Taking in a shuddering breath, she tried to control her arousal, images of Therese she was not quite ready to face invading her mind.  
Grabbing a nearby towel, she drapped it around her body, thinking that at this rate she might need to bring an extra pair of panties with her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''Therese, you look like shit dear'',  
Too exhausted to protest, the brunette stared blankly at Edouard.

''I mean it, are you okay ?'' He was frowning, something was wrong.

''Yes, I just feel a bit tired I guess.''.A strong shiver shook her petite body, and she could feel a cold sweat wetting her shirt.

''Oh my, you've got a fever ? Therese ?''

''I'll be fine, I promised'', she tried to smile but winced a little, too exhausted to appear genuine.

''Okay, give me a minute. I'll find a doctor for you''

Feeling defeated, Therese knew not to argue. How she hated being sick...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dragging her tired body out of the cab, she took with her a prescription bag, thinking she might not find the strenght to climb the two levels to her flat.

She opened the door on woobly legs, hearing it bang loudly against the wall.  
Not losing a minute, she removed her coat and shoes, leaving everything scattered on the floor before heading directly towards the sofa.  
She sat there for a moment, not used to feeling so helpless. The doctor said she might have the flu, therefore he was not sure the antibiotics would help. Great !

Therese was feeling dramatic. As always when she found herself in that kind of situation, she thought she would die.  
Okay that was a bit too exteme she reasonned, but she felt so bad she just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again. She could not remember feeling that way. Ever. 

10 mins later, she was asleep in the most awkward position, TV on. Drool leaving her open mouth.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''Here you are...'' A low voice made itself heard and Therese wondered if she was dreaming.  
A nasty coughing spell escaped her chest, making the corner of her eyes sting. This was too much, she felt like her body would colapse at the next sneeze. Her head felt heavy again, foggy...

A soothing hand on her cheek made her eyes open wide.   
The firs thing she realized, was that Carol was in front of her. Sitting on the side of the bed, worry written on her beautiful face.  
That's when she noted the second thing. She was in her bed. She remembered falling asleep on the sofa.   
Coughing again, she stood up abrubptly, making her dizzy. She was ready to throw up... She was going to throw up.  
Bracing herslef on shaking legs, she reached the bathroom just in time to reach the toilet bowl. Here, she emptied her stomach, coughing hard, feeling tears blurrying her vision and with it the last remnant of her dignity.  
Carol came after her immediately, running a soothing hand around her back.  
''It's going to be okay''. She tried to touch her cheek again, but the brunette did not allow it.

Taking in a ragged breath, she straightened herself, holding onto the sink for dear life.  
''What... What are you doing here Carol''. Her voice was raw, her throat sore. She was a mess. She wanted the blonde gone. She did not want anyone with her that moment.

The accusation in her tone made the blonde flinch. She was assessing her, waiting, debating what so say...  
''Ed told Marc you had to leave the office today'' ''Marc said he was worried, he was debating sending someone over here.. So I came''. It was the simple truth. 

'Well thanks, but I don't need a babysitter, I'm good.'' Splashing some water onto her burning face, Therese used some mouthwash before going back to the living room. 

''Therese...you can barely stand up..'' She was sharply interrupted.  
''I'm good I said ! So now please, just let me be would you ?''

The agitation in her voice was new, and Carol wondered if Therese had ever let herself been taken care of. She remembered that night, 12 years ago, when she explained her past, that she was an orphan. Therese was always the strong one, but the blonde knew even the strongest ones could have moments of weakness.

Not wanting to make her so uncomfortable, she pondered leaving, before another coughing spell wracked the brunette's petite body once more. She could not leave her that way, she wanted to do something, to be there for her.

Recovering slowly, Therese was gripping the back of the couch, knowing she would colapse would she let go. ''I told you I'm fine Carol, I'm sure you have better things to do''. She was gritting her teeth, the exhaustion taking over.

''You don't leave me any other choice then.'' Adressing her sternly, the blonde swiflty scooped her up into her arms, and made her way towards her bedroom. There she carefully lied her down, making sure the blancket was covering every inch of her body.

Giving her an indignant look, the brunette was ready to bite back when a stern finger poked into her chest. Silencing her. ''Don't you dare Therese !'' 

If Therese was honest, at that very moment, the blonde looked scary. She had on a navy business suit, with a red button down shirt and matching stilletos. She was increadibly beautiful, but she also looked like she was ready to pounce. A real mamma bear she thought. 

Therese closed her eyes, thinking Carol might disapeared if she closed them tight enough ? She was feeling clamy, gross, sick, tired, inadequate... Definitely too many emotions for her dying self. 

Too tired to fight back, she escaped the only way she could. She rolled onto her side, facing the wall. She felt like being dramatic. It was the only way she had left to make her opinion known.

Laughing softly, the blonde stood up, plunging the room into darkness.  
''Sleep angel, I'll be there when you wake up''. With that, she left the room, letting the door ajar to make sure she could check on her patient if needed.

She was not sure why, but just the thought that Carol would stay over, made Therese feel a little bit better.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for the comments and kudos!

Chapitre 11

Carol looked at her watch, it was 2pm. Searching for a nearby supermarket on google, she was releaved to localize one immediately.  
The appartment Therese was renting in was cosy, definitely better than a hotel room. Still it lacked the distinct elements that were making the difference between a nicely decorated flat and a real home. Realizing the kitchen was mostly empty, she made a little list, before grabbing her coat.

Therese awoke 10mins later, feeling just a tiny bit better. She stretched her aching muscles, groaning at the distinct feeling in her lower belly. She definitely needed to releave her bladder.  
She turned her bedside lamp on, quite surprised to not see a furious looking blonde appearing in the doorway. But the silence in the flat wa deafening, and Therese sniffled loudly, groaning in discomfort before standing up slowly.

Carol's absence hit her with full force when she exited the bedroom, regrets making their way into her foggy brain. She was ashamed for the things she said earlier, still she was sad to realize the blonde had decided to leave her be. But after all, she had made herself clear. She understood.

Still she remembered. She remembered her saying she would be there when she would wake up ? Therese wondered if it was one of these things people say with no meaning. She did not pay Carol for the shallow type. But maybe she was wrong after all.  
She looked at herslef in the bathroom mirror. Taking into the dark circles under her eyes, her damp hair and pale skin. She felt disgusting and could not help herself, she opened the tap and looked at the water cascading down the tub, her battered body humming in anticipation.

Making her way back towards the living room, she took her much needed medicine, swallowing the large pills down with much difficulty. Even this act felt like it was too much.  
Programming the heating to 25°C, she made her way slowly back towards the bathroom, close to trip over her own feet while removing her trousers and panties.

She braced herself, hands on the side of the tub, before placing a tentative feet in the scalding water. Her full body reacting at the heat, her heart started to beat furiously in her chest, swelling. She lowered herself fully in the tub, comforted by the warm and scented water.  
She felt herslef nodding off before a coughing fit wracked her body once more. Water splashed widly on the bathroom floor, but she could not care less at that moment.

Carol came back soon after, carrying enough food to feed the entire building. Closing the door with her foot, she placed the different bags on the kitchen counter before looking for specific items.  
She looked inside the cupboards, retrieving what she needed and started peeling off vegetables : butternut squash, sweet potatoes, carrots...

A coughing fit made her wince. This did not sound good. Filling the boiller with water, she made her way towards the bedroom, surprised to see the light on but no trace of Therese.

'' Therese dear, are you okay ?'' She called across the hall.  
This made the brunette jump, the change in position making her cough again.  
Carol was here, she was back. A tired smile craked the brunette's face.

''In here, I'm f-'' Coughing violently again, she did not manage to finish her sentence. Oxygen left her body and she found herslef gaping for air, hyperventilating.

''Therese ?'' Silence. ''I'm going to open the door now...''  
Worried written on her face, Carol opened the door slowly, shocked at the humidity in the room. There was a thick curtain of steam in front of her, and she spotted Therese's petite body in the background. Arms encircling her knees, eyes closed, she looked like she was ready to cry.

Moving forward slowly, the blonde kneeled in fron of her, running a soothing hand on her exposed shoulders. ''Aw poor thing, it will be okay''.

Placing a finger in the water, she was releaved to see it was still warm enough.  
Therese turned her head to the side, looking at her with teary eyes. A ragged breath leaving her throat.

''Okay, what about this. I'll make some tea and when you're finished you'll come and join me ? You need to eat and drink...''

''You came back...'' Eyes tightly shut, Therese was trying to put the pieces together. Was her tired mind playing her tricks ?

''Oh sweetheart, I never left, I just went shopping for under an hour. I'm sorry you woke up and I was not there''. Carol's heart broke a little at seeing the usual fiery brunette looking so small.  
She moved her damp hair from her forehead, before standing up and kissing her cheek softly.

''Take your time, call me if you need anything. I'll look for some pyjamas for you to wear ''  
With that, she left, closing the door behind her.

Overwhelmed by the tenderness she could feel in the blonde's gestures. Therese allowed herself to relax, spreading her body fully to let the warm water enveloppe her.

When Carol came back minutes later. She could tell Therese was no longer awake. She left some items on the sink, not opening the door entirely, too scared to wake her up.  
She took advantage of the time she had on her own to finish dinner, before pourring boilling water in to the tea pot. Removing some yummy looking cakes from a bag, she retrieved 2 mugs and disposed everything on a tray. Happy with what she had accomplished, she made her way towards the bathroom again. 

Knocking softly, she called the brunette over.  
''Therese, you need to wake up dear. The water will get cold''  
No answer.  
''Therese ?!''  
Hearing a splash of water behind the door, the blonde realized she must have startled the young woman.  
''Let me know if you need anything. There is a change of clothes on the sink''.  
''Thanks'' The brunette answered.  
Truth was, she was freezing. She could feel her neck aching from its weird position, she suddently panicked, realizing she could not move it anymore. Like it was blocked or something ? Oh god, could it get any worse.  
Pushing on her legs, she grabbed the towel holder to keep herself upward. Making her way out of the tub was more difficult than anticipated. The throbbing pain in her neck making her wince.  
She carefully removed the steam from the mirror, wanting to get a better look at herself.  
She could tell she looked better. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes brighter. Still she felt like she had been hit by a train.  
Soon enough, she felt the distinct feeling of a coughing fit made its way down her chest. She tried to stop it, to swallow it down. Feeling her neck contracting even more at her attempt.  
Too late, she could not stop it and coughed violently, nearly passing out from the pain.

''You're alright'' Carol soothing voice echoed through the door.  
''Yes'' her answer was weak, too weak to the blonde's liking.

With all the strenght she could muster, she pushed the white sweater over her head and managed to put on a pair of yoga pants. The simple act should have taken less than a minute, but for Therese, it felt like she spent an entire hour, moving in slow motion to get it done.

She finally opened the bathroom door, not surprised to find Carol waiting for her.  
''Oh my, you look awful''  
''Thanks'' she managed to crook a smile. ''So tea you said ?''

Nodding happily, the blonde made a gesture towards the living room, noting how tense Therese looked. She was not moving the upper side of her body, looking stiff as ever.  
She finally sat down on the couch, uptight.

''Are you in pain Therese''.  
A very mean reflex pushed the brunette to look in the direction of the voice. This voice that would have soothed her any other day. But today, she just felt her entire body tense as the pain invided her sense.  
Hurrying at her side, Carol craddled her face in her hands gently, afraid to hurt her further.  
''Where ? Tell me''.  
Not trusting her voice, Therese raised an arm carefully, placing a shaking hand at the back of her head.  
''Oh poor thing...'' Not realeasing her head just yet, Carol pondered her next move. She thought that maybe heat could help a bit ?  
She made her way towards the kitchen, rummaging loudly for several minutes. She reapeared later, holding a burning hot kitchen towel in her hands and swiftly made her way towards the couch.

''Here, it's burning but it should help''.  
She then carefully placed the towel on the brunette's neck, making sure to have an extra one to not damp her clean sweater.

Felling the heat relax her muscle a little, Therese released a shaky breath. Looking at Carol.  
''Thank you''

''You are welcome'' Smiling softly, she stood up again, but the brunette was quicker to grab her wrist. ''No thank you, I mean for staying''. She was looking at her earnestly, wanting to convey how grateful she was.

''Well I told you I'll be there'' the blonde smirked '''So are you hungry ? I have some nice things you might like...''

Therese accepted the food and the tea that was offered to her. Carol's presence warming her heart and soul. She was still feeling awful, but it was one of the first times in her life she was feeling cared for. Loved. It was like a balm to her aching heart. Like it had been craving it all along.

''Okay, it's 6, I should probably try to get you something for the pain. Anything else you need ?''  
''No. But don't you have somewhere else to go ? I don't want to keep you..''  
''Nonsense Therese, would you stop pushing me away ?'' She was dead serious as she said so, but there was a trace of mischief in her eyes.  
Therese did not argue, looking at her lap.

''I'll be back soon''.  
With that she winked at her before opening the entrance door. ''And don't do anything stupid ! I'll know...'' She pointed sternly.

Chuckling lightly, the brunette winced a little, the blonde having the capacity to make her forget her current condition. That super power seemed to be limited tho, as she felt like her body was colpasing no longer than 3 minutes after the door closed.

Carol called Edouard on her way, updating him on the situation. She could feel his genuine concern and smiled, knowing he was good to Therese. She was glad she could rely on him.  
She arrived at the pharmacy and picked some over the counter products on display. She however felt a bit at loss for the brunette's stiff neck, prefering asking for recommandation.  
With a bag full of products, she realized she probably went a bit over the top with this. So what ? At least she knew nothing was missing.

Making her way inside the appartment once again. She was shocked to see the brunette with an open computer on her lap. She had put all the cushions she could find underneath, making sure the screen was at eye level. She was a sight to be seen, but truth to be told, Carol thought she looked a bit better.

Making a little wave with her hand to aknowledge her presence without having to look at her, Therese took a tissue before blowing her nose loudly.

''So... Care to explain what you are doing ?''  
Hands on her hips, the blonde was annoyed. She just wanted her to take her condition seriously.

''Just reading emails, nothing crazy...'' she murmured.

''Well Ed call me. And he insisted you stay away from yout computer''

''I know. He texted me''.

''And ? Was he speaking in french or what ?'' Bitting her tongue to not laugh at the desperate attempt at playing it cool the brunette was plastering on her face, she dropped the topic. She knew she was so uncomfortable, she would probably have to stop what she was doing anyway very soon.

''So I got you some painkillers, cough syrup and a corticoid cream for your neck''

''Thanks'' she mumbled. Her poker face becoming more difficult to keep by the second.

Another coughing fit made itself known, and Carol's heart ached at the pain she could se written on Therese's face. She quickly grabbed the cardboard box containing the syrup, reading the label quickly before offering a spoonful to the brunette. ''Here, Open...''

Huffing, Therese ungracefully did as told.  
''I'm not a toddler!''  
''Well you for sure seem like it'' she answered, not the least amused.

''So did her highness decide if she was happy to go to bed now ?'' 

A small smile adorning her tired face, the young woman put her computer aside as a peace offering.

''Good'' ''What about I rub som of that cream onto your neck ?''  
In any other circumstances she would have jumped on the occasion, but tonight, Therese was not so sure she could stand it. She knew the offer was purely medical, but still, it was Carol. And Carol's hands anywhere close to her skin was doing weird things to her.

Taking the following sillence as a surrender, she walked around the couch, removed her shoes and positionned herself at the back, while the brunette moved herself forwards slowly. There was a respectable distance between them, and Carol unfolded her long legs on either side of the petite body for more comfort.  
Tube in hand, she opened the cap carefully before testing the texture. It was gross, it smelt, but it would do.

''Ready ?''  
She did not wait for an answer and started to move the brown hair aside.  
Realizing it was not enough, she pulled Therese's hair a little creating a small bun, using the elastic on her wrist to tie it up.  
The gesture felt both intimate and normal, no women paying any attention to it.   
Satisfied with her work, she started to spread cream on Therese's neck, keeping her fingers light to avoid any disconfort.

Therese let herself be massaged by Carol, marvelling at the softness of her hands on her burning skin. Truth to be told, she felt some relief after couple of minutes, and did not know if it was due to the cream itslef, or to Nurse Carol.  
Feeling her shoulders relax, the blonde smiled, relieved she was able to somehow help the brunette feeling better.  
They remained that way for a few more minutes, just enjoying each other's company.

Still, the words pronounced by the young woman made Carol's heart beat faster.  
''Would you stay with me tonight ?'', She said so easily, a hand rubbing the blonde's right tight as she could not move her head.

Feeling exposed for a reason she could not identify, Carol gave the only answer her heart would allow.  
''Of course.''


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wanna know a secret ? This chapter was divided in 2...  
> So here is part 2 (Or chapter 12).
> 
> Thanks for your comments as always.
> 
> OMG, at the end they...

Chapitre 12

Therese was feeling better. She could tell her temperature was down and she could breath better.  
She knew what it meant. That is was not the flu and she could maybe recover quickly if she kept taking her medicines.  
She still had the remaining symptoms of a bad cold, the violent coughing fits making her throat and chest sore. But she would most likely survive. Her neck felt a bit better by now, another appearance of nurse Carol with her smelly cream minutes ago helping with the pain.

Looking intently at her TV Screen, the young woman was trying to setup her Netflix account right. It took her longer than anticipated but she finally managed to get it done, scrolling down for suggestions.

Carol was in the kitchen, doing the dishes after the nice dinner they shared. The brunette had not been hungry but she forced the food down her throat, seeing the genuine look of concern in the blonde's eyes. She would do anything for her she realized, even if that meant throwing up her guts.

''All good ?'' Therese nodded and the blonde turned the light off in the kitchen, bringing back 2 glasses of water. She sat on the couch, drapping a blanket that was resting on the back over Therese.  
The simple gesture made her heart swell. She felt good with Carol there.

''What are we watching ?'', Nodding in direction of the screen, the blonde kicked off her shoes before placing her feet under her, making herself confortable. Therese took a second to look at her, like really look at her. She had rolled her sleeves at her elbow, her hair was in a messy pony tail, trendrils flowing freely around her face. She had her glasses on and was wearing her makeup light. It then occured to the brunette that she could not be confortable in that position.

''You should get changed...''

''Why ?''

''Because, it's almost bedtime, I'm sure what you are wearing feels too tight by now'' Expecting the answer, she continued ''I have clothes. Well you know that already... Some should fit you''

''Alright then, That's that''.  
Taking her exit, the blonde called over her shoulder ''Might also take a shower...''

''Sure''

Looking at the TV screen once more, Therese found the perfect movie for them to watch. It was called « Cate ». Seems like the story was happening in the 50s ? She liked that period... A rich housewife falling in love with a shop girl ? That was promising. The ratings were good.  
She selected the movie and pressed pause, waiting for Carol to come back.

Alone, she grabbed couple of pills before drinking an entire glass of water.  
Her foggy mind being a bit clearer, the young woman realized there was an untold question between them. She had asked the blonde to stay the night. But what were the expectations here ? Would they sleep in the same bed ?  
She remembered the couch was a convertible one. At least, she could make Carol choose. As much as she wanted the blonde close to her, she could totally understand if she did not want to have her sweaty, sick self by her sides.  
Carol came back minutes later, looking refreshed and much more comfortable. Squinting her eyes, she could not read the lines on the TV screen and stood up again searching for her glasses.

'' Cate ? ''

''Have you seen it ?''

''No'' the blonde lied. 

'' Okay me neither ''

With that, the brunette pressed play, and the movie started.

One hour into the story, the intimate scene between the two women made Carol squirm in her seat. She did not need to be reminded of her neglected libido. Shutting her eyes tights, she reopened them to glance in the brunette's direction, seemingly unaffected by the movie.  
For the blonde, that was the end. After that, her mind kept wandering around, thinking about her daughter, Harge, Therese... Jen.

Soon the end credits appeared and the TV was turned off.

''OMG, that was great''  
Moving her body in Carol's direction, she realized immediately something was wrong. She looked tense, deep in thoughts. Not good with her timing, the brunette coughed and sneezed loudly, making the blonde snap her head up.

''Syrup !''

With that, she stood up quickly, rummaging through a plastic bag before sitting in front of Therese.

''You don't have to do this you know, I can do it...''  
Trying to grab the bottle from her hands, she started to giggle when Carol would not allow it.

''Nope, my treat'' She winked.  
Pouring some of the thick liquid into the spoon, she grinned as she realize Therese was already opening her mouth wide.

''Good girl''. With that, she closed the bottle and put it back in the bag.''Should we get ready for bed then ?''

Standing up, the brunette stired a little bit, exposing more skin than Carol could take.

''So The couch is convertible. Not sure if there is enough blankets and pillows but should be, that place is for 4 people''. Therese knew she was rambling, but she did not want to assume...

A shadow crossed the blonde's face but she did not see it, having her back to her.  
''Sure, i'll have a look''.

The atmosphere turned a bit akward, and Therese made her way towards the bathroom on wobbly legs. She brushed her teeth and put cream on her face, before making her way back in the living room.  
Carol had unfolded the bed, and was now in the process of making it. She had two pillows and a blanket ready to used.

Feeling a bit disapointed that she would sleep there, the brunette wished her goodnight before walking towards the bedroom.

Alone in her bed, she thought about the events of the day, before exhaustion took over her body.  
In the other room, Carol's mind was going in overdrive. She knew she could not contain herself much more. There was a name for it, she was attracted to Therese. There was no doubt about that.  
A bad cough made itself heard in the silence of the appartment, and she sighed, feeling useless.  
Would she ever face her growing feelings for the brunette ? Would she ever get the guts to act on it. Probably not...

The brunette awoke hours later, her throat dry, her neck and back aching. She tried to cover a coughing fit in her arm to avoid waking up the blonde. Little did she know she was still wide awake, looking at the ceiling, deep in thoughts.

Needing some water, she tip toed towards the bathroom, only the street light illuminating the hall. She opened the tap and filled a plastic cup, before drinking its content quickly. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she stopped in the doorway, looking at a lying form in the dark.  
She could hear her breathing, she could see her chest falling rapidly. She was not asleep.

Frowning, she walked closer, before deciding to lie next to her. Making her way towards the bed, her suspicions were confirmed as she found the blonde's eyes wide open, shining into the night.  
She did not move an inch as the brunette pulled the conforter down before joining her.  
The warm radiating from her body was soothing and she found herself curling against Carol's side, trying to not hurt her back in the process.

Now turning her head, the blonde looked at her, poking her nose with her finger.

''What are you doing awake ?''

''I was thirsty'' she replied simply. The blonde nodded, her mind wandering again.

''I could aks you the same question'' she murmured, afraid to speak out loud.

Releasing a breath through her nose, Carol pondered how to answer.  
''I'm... overthinking I guess'' ''It happens often''.

Scooting a little bit closer, Therese caressed her brows softly, closing her eyes with her fingers.  
''This thinking, can it wait tommorow ?''

''It does''.  
The silence that followed made her think the brunette had fell back asleep, till a low voice spoke again.

''Since I'm getting better, Can I kiss you good night ?''

A shallow breath escaped her throat, and she nodded, waiting, eyes closed.

Therese smiled fondly at her, popping herself on her elbow before kissing the blonde's forehead, smooting the worry lines with her lips. She then kissed her nose, each of her cheekbones. And finished by a kiss at the corner of her mouth.

''Good night Carol''.With that she turned carefully on her back, not missing the change in the blonde's demeanor. Not ready to break the connection, she fumbled for her hand in the darkness, linking their fingers together, before falling into a peacefull slumber.

How they ended up that way they did not know, but their bodies having a life of their own, they woke up tangled in each other arms, Therese's head on the blonde shoulders.  
The brunette opened her eyes first, just content to lay there, softly caressing the blonde's collarbone. In the morning light, she took an extra minute to study the beauty that was Carol Aird. Her perfect skin, her rosy lips, her hair... She traced her face with her hand, wanting to remember the feel of it under her fingertips.

''Someone feels better this morning'' Her deep voice caused butterflies in the brunette's stomach, making her close her eyes at the sensation.

The blonde could also feel their close proximity without opening her eyes, her skin tingling, her body aching to be touched. She tried to calm herself down, but could not help but tense as the brunette's hand went a bit more south, caressing the upperside of her breast. There was nothing really erotic about it, but she couldn'y help but feel gooseumps erupting on her skin, her nipple poking painfully against the fabric of her top. Therese seemed to notice, halting her movement.

''Please'' Carol was wining she knew, but she was ready to combust.

''What is it ?'' The brunette was looking at her with wonder in her eyes. Not believing she could stir such a reaction.

Her labbored breath did nothing to hide her state of arousal and the blonde knew there was not much she could do. Mustering all the couraged she possessed, she placed the brunette's hand on her right breast. Exhaling softly.  
''I need you''.

Surprised by the gesture, Therese took a deep breath. She could not mess this. She caressed Carol's face soflty with her nose, not wanting to push her too hard. But before she could react, the blonde had grabbed her neck and was now kissing her, hard.  
Tensing, A mix of pain and pleasure errupted in the young woman body, making Carol open her eyes wide.

''Oh my god, i'm sorry !! Did I hurt you ?''

'' It's okay Carol, don't worry''.

Panick written over her face, the blonde did not know what to do with herself. As she was ready to stand up, Therese took her arm once more. ''Stay''

She then sat down in the middle of the bed, making a gesture for Carol to sit in front of her. She did as she was told, shame adorning her beautiful face.  
Tilting her chin upward, Therese smiled at her, her dimples showing.  
''Carol Aird, would you go on a date with me ?''

Surprised and overlwhelmed, the blonde opened her mouth but no sound escaped.  
Smiling softly, the brunette took the occasion to kiss her softly, taking her time to caress her mouth with her lips. She could feel the other woman trembling and the moment made her feel emotionnal.  
Not wanting to be discovered, she took the blonde in her arms, burrying her face in her neck. Her smell was intoxicating. She could not wait to taste all this delicious skin.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again...
> 
> For all our american friends... It will get better!

Chapitre 13

It has been two days since Carol left Therese's flat, 2 days since they parted with a promise. That they would meet again soon. It was not just a rendez-vous between friends, it was a date. An official date.

Therese was feeling better. She had been working from home and could tell this flu-like thing will soon be a bad memory. Still, she could not help herself but feeling relieved that it happened.  
It came with a silver lining, or maybe a golden one finally. She felt closer than ever to the blonde, to Carol. An that thought alone was making her heart swell with happiness, she could not remember feeling so excited at the prospect of meeting her again.

In the back of her mind however, some dark clouds were announcing a storm. She knew it was coming, she was just not sure if she wanted to avoid it, or just stand into the pouring rain.  
There were two discussion she needed to have, and soon. One with Jen.  
She knew she owed her more than the way they parted. She could not keep ignoring her that way. That was lame.  
Second was with Carol. Some topic would need to be addressed honestly at some point.

Like Carol's current living arrangement, her personnal life. If Therese was being honest, she was sure the blonde was hiding some nasty scars. She had her fair share of those herslef, but she did not want to push her too much. She felt there was a gap between what she wanted to give and what she was ready to give her.  
Therese as well was wondering how to work around their current situation. She would be back in New York before Christmas. Would they agree that it was just a fling ? Could it be just a fling. What future could they have ?  
The brunette didn't know what would came out of this, still, she decided to tackle the first thing on her list. She called Jen.

''Therese''

''Hi Jen''  
Silence  
''How are you doing ?'' She asked tentatively.

''Do we have to ?''  
The cold voice of the woman echoed in the receiver and Therese realized how much she hurt her. Jennifer Warren was the definition of happiness, always cheerful, always perky. Still right now it felt like she was someone else. Did she have the power to destroy people ? She wondered.

''Hey listen, I just wanted to appologize''

''It's a bit late Therese...'' Could she hear her voice softening ?

''No you deserve better Jen. I owe you a real closure. I owe you some sort of explanation...''

''So that's it then ? Here I thought you were calling to really apologize...''  
Jen was feeling emotional, she did not want to show her girlfriend how much she had waited for her. For a sign, anything. Still now she realized she would have taken anything she had to offer. How pathetic...

Biting her lip, the brunette felt so small. Like she wanted to disapear. How come you can hurt someone so much, while doing nothing. That had been their problem all along. Her feeling incertain, hot and cold, in and out...She realized her heart had never really be in. How many years did they lose...

''I'm sorry. For not loving you the way you deserve to be loved. For not being able to make any commitment, for shutting down, for bailing on our relationship, for... For hurting you. More than anythin Jen, I've never wanted to hurt you ''

''You're done ?'' She was back being distant.

''Jen... I care so much about you. I just hope you'll find someone that will treat you well. That will do a better job than I did''

''It's her isn't it ?'' Breathing through the receiver, Therese froze.  
''This Carol...''

''What do you mean ? I told you that letter was..''

''But you've met her again. That time in Paris.'' There was a silence. 

''Tell me Therese, would you have broken up with me if you had not met her ? Would you ?''  
Silence  
''Answer damnit !''

Tears in her eyes, the young woman was not sure there was an answer to that. Was Carol the reason why she gave up on their relationship ? But what she felt for Carol had always felt so intense, so much stronger than anything she had ever felt. She was a monster, a fuckin monster...

''Jen, it's complicated. But you and I, what we had, it was over long before...''

''Her, before her.  
I guess it's hard to build something with someone unable to love. I wish her luck. Good bye Therese. I'll wait for your return to send your stuff back. Not like I have anything at yout place anyway. Barely a toothbrush after 3 years... What a fool ...''

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was now Friday and Carol was getting nervous. She knew her first date with Therese was due in couple hours, but she was having second thoughts.  
She knew this was a bad decision, but it was like she had no control over her actions.  
Lust seemed to have taken over her mind, clouding her judgement. She convinced herself what she felt for the young woman was just a warning sent by her neglected libido.  
What were the chanced the brunette would like to move passed second base anyway ? She suddently wondered, feeling unsure, not believing she could be attractive in her eyes.

Still she decided that whatever she would be ready to give her, she would give willingly. Maybe it could allow to close that chapter, maybe this is what they both needed. To be brought back to reality by the sharp and honest truth. Therese was a young, very fine looking woman living in NYC. She was an old and neglected 45ish divorcee. Talk about a cold shower...

They agreed to meet at a japoneese restaurant, close enough from their respective places.  
Exiting the shower, Carol was now comtemplating what to wear. She did not want to appear like she was trying to much. She did not want to betray how she felt either.  
She decided to go for a short enough long sleeves Black dress, with a satin tuxedo-like collar. Classy but still not too much as she was not planning to pair it with any jewellry. She finished her side hair look with some make up, trying to attenuate the lines on her face.  
Grabbing her thick black wool coat, she exited her place 30mins earlier than planned, too nervous to stay still.

When Therese arrived, she was relieved to say it was meeting her expectations. She had asked for advice, wanting the restaurant to be both nice and intimate. This one seemed like a nice combo.  
She was early and supprised when the waiter indicated her guest already arrived. She smiled, realizing she was not the only nervous one.

Walking in the direction the young man indicated, she spotted her first and her heart stopped. She faltered a second, feeling her emotions swelling in her chest.This was it she thought, this was the moment. The moment she would be allow to really be with Carol, as her equal, with no age barrier or status getting in the way. Tonight they were just two women meeting for a nice evening, and she could not feel happier about it.  
The blonde looked esquisite she could tell. And she could not wait to be with her another second.

''Hey There''  
Looking up from her daydream, Carol beamed at her.  
''Therese..''  
She stood up, and the two women hugged warmly, completing their greeting with a small kiss on the cheek. Both their skins were tingling all over at the simple gesture and the brunette could see a small blush covering Carol's face and neck. She marvelled at the power she seemed to have over her former professor. This was intoxivating, she would never tire of it.

''So, How was your day ?'' Recovering, the blonde was quick to change the topic, asking for something in French at a passing waiter.

''It was okay, slow I guess. I have been distracted...''  
Looking straight into the mersmerizing blue eyes in front of her, she could not help but smile as she realized the blonde was not getting it, frowning. Then her face relaxed as realization made her blush once again. 2 for Believet !

''Should we order ? They will bring you a menu in English, that way you won't make a fool of yourself'', Carol winked at her before looking at the French menu in her hands.

''Jeez thanks, you for sure know how to make a woman feel special...'' 

''Just kidding''...

''Sure''. With that the women waited in comfortable silence for their drinks to arrive. Alcool needed to loosen their tongues a little bit.

''So tell me, anything special that happened these last days ? Anything worth mentioning ?''

Faking being deep in thoughts for a moment, a finger on her lips, the blonde shook her head.  
'Nothing I can think about really, I had a tchat with Rindy this morning...''  
At the mention of her daughter, a shadow passed over her eyes, Therese did not miss it, feeling sad that she was going trough so many negative emotions.

''Is she okay ?''

''Yes actually she was. She explained about how good she was at skying now... She also asked about you...'' Not meeting her eyes, to afraid of what she would find there, Carol left the sentence hanging in the air. 

''Me ?'' Therese was frowning, she had not been expecting it.

''Well she said something about you and her sharing a secret ? '' She was narrowing her eyes now, trying to decipher some hidden clues on the Brunette's face. Seing none, she took a deep breath before adverting her gaze.  
''And also she said that she knew that whatever it was, it would be okay. And she finished saying that I seemed … Happy...'' She smiled sadly. '' It felt nice''  
Feeling her eyes watering a bit, Carol bit her tongue. Knowing how her own hapiness was impacting her daughter was always a sore topic. She did everything to protect her these last years, putting her own life aside. But it seems that making her daughter happy was not about her being a perfect housewife after all...

The blonde spaced out a moment, a tear rolling down her cheek. Therese wiped it swiftly with her thumb, lingering a bit more than necessary.  
''I'm sorry, this always makes me a bit emotional''

''Don't appologize''

''Well, I'm going to say it anyway. Therese....I'm a mess'' With that, she started to laugh dryly, clearing her drink in one big gulp.

''Oh c'mon Carol, I don't do pity parties so....''

''Well it's true. I'm sorry but this is what you get. An emotionnal wreck, with teary eyes at the mention of her daughter''

''Fine, So, what else ?'' 

Blowing air throught her mouth, Carol considered it for a moment.  
''Well I'm old, I'm second hand... Being divorcee and all''

Therese was looking at her with amusement in her eyes, this woman was something else.

''What else ?''

''I snore''  
Now the brunette was laughing openly. She waved a waiter to get another round of drinks.

''You're done ?'' 

Still deep in thought, Carole shaked her head.  
''No'' ''I'm also an emotional wreck'' ''I'm scared of my own shadow'' ''I'm...sexually frustrated ''

''Carol !!!'' She was the one blushing now.Therese did not want to hear anymore, this was just too much. ''Just stop already''

''Why ? You told me to keep going, so that's that''  
She was now facing her, a little spark in her eyes. Not ashamed of what she shared. Take it or leave it it seemed to say.

''Well see, I'm still there. And I asked for more drinks in that awful French of mine. So that's something. I guess I'm not seeing things the same way...''

They finished the discussion on this lighter note, happy to see their food being served.

They spent the rest of the evening catching up about everything and nothing, but still there was a special energy flowing between them. Like a promise for more to come.

The brunette took the opportunity during dessert to explain the full situation with Jen, not wanting to appear like she was dishonnest or shallow. Carole seemed unphased. Just listening carefully.

Using the moment the blonde excused herslef to use the bathroom, Therese made her way towards the counter, credit card in hand. She was soon back at their table, putting her coat on when the other woman came back.  
''Should we go ?''  
Nodding even if a bit sad the night was ending, Carol agreed.  
They left the restaurant, the older woman feeling her concern over the check dissolve when the brunette took her hand in hers, entervining their fingers.

Without realizing it, both lost in their own world, they happily made their way back towards the Haussmanian building. Feeling both shy out of sudden, Carol chastised herself for acting like she was 16 again. She wanted to say something.  
''I had a lovely evening Therese, thank you''.

Seemingly happy, the brunette smiled at her warmly, before moving forward to place a little to kiss her cold cheek. Knowing there time together would end if se did not act fast, Carol was quick to add.  
''Would you like to come over ?'' ''For a last drink ?''

Not missing a bit, There was no doubt in Therese answer,  
''Yes, Yes I would''. 

The two women then made their ways towards the three set of stairs, another kind of excitment bubbling below the surface. 

Opening the door with fumbling hands, Carol was however quick to close it before pinning Therese against it. She looked at the young woman for a moment, expecting any trace of rejection, before closing the gap and kissing her softly.  
They both whimpered at the contact, like the missing part they were looking for was finally in front of them. They took some time just enjoying their closeness, the brunette letting Carol take the lead in their kisses. She knew she needed it. She would let her set the pace.  
Soon, their growing need became overwhelming and the blonde deepened the kiss, pulling Therese close to her. Lost in the moment, her hands started to have a mind on their own, caressing, grabbing, wanting to feel naked skin under her fingertips.  
Needing to breath, Carol was the first one to pull back, panting hard.  
The brunette kissed her nose sweetly, trying to cool them down a little but not ready to loose the connection just yet.

Tugging at the blonde's hand, she lead her towards the living room.

''So a drink you said ?''


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I would make 2 comments :
> 
> 1- Writing this chapter, I realized how poor my vocabluary is for specific topics !  
> I guess it's because, one usally does not discuss them with their colleagues, would be kinda weird :-p  
> 2- Having readers commenting this story (I love it!), made me actually nervous ! Like this chapter was something I would not have my friends reading. I'm really not a shy one, but the exercice was definitely different !
> 
> As you might have understood, this is a chapter for MATURE Readers. You are warned ;-)

Chapter 14

''So a drink you said ?'', the brunette turned in the opposite direction, needing some space.

Carol however was not ready to let go. She just let the younger woman lead her through the living room before spining her around and crashing their lips back together. She could not get enough. Her skin was on fire, her lips needed to kiss, nip, taste, anything that was the brunette. She was feeling her widely beating heart under her fingertips, and that fact alone made her dizzy with want. Therese reciprocated the kiss hungrily, trying to hold back a little to not scare Carol off with the force of her desire .

The blonde took the lead, overwhelmed by lust. She navigated Therese in the room till the back of her legs hit the sofa. She was soon finding herslef on top of her, straddling her, holding her face in both of her hands to keep contact with her ravenous mouth.  
The brunette was sensuously stroking her tongue against hers, slowly, and this was driving her completely nuts. She was soon nipping at her bottom lip gently, opening her eyes to take into to the sight in front of her. And god was she beautiful.

Therese was a vision. Hair wild, tendrils flowing from what used to be a perfect ponytail, face flushed, lips all swollen from their intense kissing, eyes closed... She could not remember finding her so beautiful. She was almost looking vulnerable, Carol in control, and that thought made her even wetter than she was.  
She jumped back into action, her tongue finding the brunette's neck, nipping that little spot below her right ear. She could tell the body below her was coming alive and Therese groaned while tugging at her blonde hair to resume their kissing.  
Desperate for more contact, she grabbed the brunette's bottom, wanting to be closer, always closer. She unconsciously, started to grind her body on top of the brunette, trying to get some desperately needed friction on her burning core. She traced with her hands the place where the woman's shirt had rid off a little, marveling at the softness of her skin.  
She resumed her exploration, taking extra time to taste her neck, her collarbone, while her hands started to inch higher, feeling the material of her bra under her fingertips.

Therese was trembling, her breathing ragged. She could not remember being so turned on. She had dreamed this moment, imagined it, still it was anything like what she had envisioned.  
It was so much better, so intense. Her full body was surrending to Carol, ready to be hers, to be taken, to give her whatever she wanted, needed.  
But when an adventourous hand started to slip under the cup of her bra, teasing an aching nipple, her full body froze. She was ready to combust like a fucking virgin and that thought made her come back to reality.

She softly stopped the hand on her skin, pushing back gently at the face burried in her neck. This was the most difficult thing she had ever done, stopping a fucking hot Carol Aird from fucking her, but she needed to.  
''Carol''  
''Carol'' She was trying to get the blonde's attention but she was too lost in her own sensations.  
''CAROL !'' She called more forcefully.  
The blonde froze, dropping both hands on her side.  
Like a dear caught in headlight, her eyes were almost black, unfocused.  
Caressing her cheek gently, Therese tried to bring her back to reality. She was mesmerized by this woman.

''Carol, as much as I want...this, we need to stop'' She sighed

Feeling like a bucket of ice water had been thrown her way, the blonde removed herself from Therese immediately, not sure of what exactly happened. One minute she was litteraly seconds from the release she was craving, and now she was just confused and aroused as hell. The moment was broken, that was for sure. She did not know wether to feel pissed or hurt, not wanting to meet the green eyes boring into her soul.

''Hey Hey, c'mon, look at me...'' Adverting her gaze, Carol did not comply, looking straight ahead, letting her body calm down.  
''Oh Carol, don't be like this. I don't want our first time to be rushed, I want you to be sure, to be ready...''

Laughing dryly, the blonde scoffed.  
''Did it not appear like I was ready Therese ? I mean fucking seriously ?'', her frustration was getting in the way but she knew Therese had a point. She was still fragile. And they did not talk about ''us'', about what all of this meant.

''Carol, please''. Therese moved closer to her, taking her hands and kissing her palms gently.

Puffing air loudly through her mouth, Carol tentatively looked in her eyes. She could just see tenderness and love reflected in them, calming her insecurities instantly. She nodded before making her exit towards the kitchen.

''Wine ? Soft ? Spirits ?''

''Whisky would be great. On the rock''. If they needed to have this discussion, then Therese needed some liquid courage. That was for sure.

Carol came back minutes after, carrying two tumblers of American Rye.

''Thanks'' ''Don't go that far, just sit close to me, please...''  
The blonde reluctantly did as told, not sure what to expect.  
Therese patted her lap, gesturing for her to lay her head on her chest. Soon she complied, drawing up her knees close to her chest in silence. Therese started to soothingly massage her scalp, wanting to reassure her it would be okay.

''I'm sorry but I feel like we need to discuss couple of points before moving forwards...I'm not sure you're ready to just jump into bed with a stranger, not anticipating the implications''.  
Carol wanted to protest, but the brunette placed a hand on her shoulder, silencing her.

''I'm living in New York as you know. You live in Paris. So the chances of this... being more than a one night strand or a light fling are low. If not inexistant. Still, I want your to know you are different to me...And I cannot just fuck you against your entrance door without clearing that point... It might sound old school, silly, you might have different feelings about this... But to me, what I feel for you, even if it's for one night, even if I can never be with you ever again, it needs to be expressed the right way''.

Heart in her throat, the blonde was suddently tired. She knew all of this. Of course she knew. How insightful was this young woman, reading right through her with such an ease it was disarming. Deep down she knew, this could destroy her. Seeing Therese walk away one morning, saying goodbye...It felt like a nightmare. She knew it was more than lust, there had been something brewing under the surface, since the day they met, all these years ago.  
But what did she want ? What was she ready to give Therese ? Could she just take what she craved and move on ? Why not.

Taking the silence as her clue to continue, the brunette caressed the blonde's back in a comforting gesture.  
''I don't want to lie to you Carol, I want you to give me whatever you are ready to give me willingly''

''I just want you'' The blonde was whispering now, wiping her nose with the back of her fingers.

''I want you too Carol, so much it hurts...I've never... I've never wanted someone as much''. Therese was emotional as well, the implication of her words hitting her hard. She could not remember desiring someone so much in her life, ever.

Standing up now, Carol looked up to discover the brunette's teary eyes. She wiped her cheeks gently before taking her hand, draging her towards the bedroom.  
''Then let me make love to you Therese. Let me. Please''.

Not trusting her voice, Therese shuddered at the intensity of the blonde's gaze on her. Carol was ready, there was no trace of doubt, no hesitation. She wanted her, she would give herslef to her.

In the confine of the room, the blonde took her time, kissing Therese slowly, not wanting to rush this night. There would be other times she thought, but now was all about loving the woman in front of her. Showing her what she meant to her, what had been there all along.

She started to unbotton Therese's shirt, marvelling at the perfect white skin on display. She reverently kissed her collarbone, her chest, feeling the brunette taking in a shuddering breath.  
The next step was her trousers, and she swiftly popped open the front button, stopping, hands on her hips kissing her softly. The brunette reciprocated immediately, tugging at the blonde's collar, seeing the delicious skin confined in her tight dress. Feeling Carol peperring kisses all over her neck and chest, she did not hesitate anymore and just opened the button restraining her acces to the woman's body.  
Chocked as cool air met her burning skin, the blonde froze one second, before a warm mouth took over, nipping at her collarbone, a tongue tracing the top of her bra. Therese wiggled free of her trousers, the blonde's dress now messily discarded on the floor.

The two soon to be lovers hugged for a moment, feeling their skin meeting for the first time. This was heaven. Therese was the first one to move forward, directing the blonde towards the bed before lying her body on top of her.  
Carol could hardly breath, the weight of the brunette consuming her, erasing all her worries, all her fears. Could it be what she had been missing all her life ? How could that simple gesture make her feel so complete ?

Therese run her fingers under the straps of her bra, kissing her shoulders, between her breast, anywhere she could reach. She unclipsed the unwanted garment swiflty, taking a minute to look at the revealed skin in front her eyes. Feasting at what was being offered to her.  
The blonde trembled, feeling both on fire and vulnerable under the intense gaze being send her way. Both women stood still one moment, frozen by the solemnity of the moment.

''You are magnificent...'' Like in a transe, Therese traced the line between carol's breasts, before moving up again and teasing a neglected little bud. It felt to Carol like a healing balm was applied on her skin, on her abused heart and self-esteem wherever the brunette kissed her.  
She soon felt a soft wet tongue lap at her chest hungrily, taking a rosy nipple into her mouth, sucking hard.  
She cried out, not expecting the intensity of the pleasure coursing through her veins. The brunette used her hand to give equal attention to other parts of her body and she was soon, trembling under her, wrapping her long legs against her hips, bringing them closer.  
Therese moaned at the gesture, feeling Carol's soaked core against hers. She could not wait to claim her, to feel her come undone under her hands.  
She grabbed this faboulous ass she has been dreaming about for years. Finally, she was able to squeeze the soft skin in her hands, making their centers grind against each other in the most delicious way.

Carol was panting hard, not able to concentrate on anything but the feeling in her lower body. She could feel her belly contracting, tightening, like a knot settling there, making her desesperate to find a release.  
She sobbed as hands started to rub her tights softly, so close to where she needed it the most. She could not take it anymore, she would combust, with or without Therese. On the verge of colapsing, she took her wrist, guiding her hand on her lace clad center.  
Therese nearly lost it at the amount of wetness she could feel there, it was intoxicating. This woman was like a drug to her, she would never get enough. Hooking her fingers in the waistline of her panties, the blonde took her clue and lifted her hips, letting the undergarment being removed from her body.  
The cold air hitting her glistening sex made her shiver in anticipation as the brunette kissed down her body, her abs contracting as a wet tongue found her navel.  
She was fully exposed to the younger woman's hungry eyes, pupil dilated, mouth watering at the sight in front of her.  
Caressing her tights softly, she placed couple of kiss there, before moving her mouth forward to the source of her desire, humming in delight.  
Carol was nearly sobbing as she felt Therese's mouth on her for the first time, kissing her, making love to her softly. She felt her inside contracting widely, her arousal seeping out of her at each stroke of this talented tongue.

The brunette was in heaven. She tasted the blonde hungrily, thirsty for anything she had to give her.  
She circled her opening, poking her muscle inside, amased to feel how tight the woman was. She was so close. Not wanting to delay her unpending release, she speeded up her actions, locking their fingers together as Carol rode her face, shamelessly.  
It all happened quickly. Her change in breathing, her back arching, her mouth opening silently as waves after waves of pleasure rushed throught her body. Her walls were contracting widely, almost painfully as Therese expertly led her through her earth shattering climax.

Her body finally relaxed, twitching at the overstimulation created by the gentle tongue taking in everything she had just offered.  
A little tug on her head made the brunette stop with a grunt, not happy to see her feast being interrupted rudely. She kissed her way back Carol's body, surprised when the blonde grabbed her face to kiss her hungrily, tasting herself on her lips.  
Desire took over them immediately and the blonde was gripping Therese's back, wanting to feel her closer. She cried out in pleasure as two fingers boldy entered her swiftly, filling her masterfully. Stars erupted behind her eyes as the brunette pumped into her, her mouth and hands everywhere at once. A thumb found her swollen bundle of nerve quickly and a couple of strokes were enough to make her come again. Hard. Even harder than before. It felt like an out of body experiene. The pleasure so strong she was barely keeping it together, on the verge of passing out.

Therese waited couple of minutes, kissing her cheeks, her mouth, before nuzzling her nose in her neck, happy to feel her strong heartbeat under her hand. She gently removed her fingers, feeling the blonde contracting around her painfully, before bringing them to her mouth not getting enough of her taste.

The two women laid there in silence, tangeled in each other arms, before Carol's shivering body brought the brunette back to reality. She carefully drapped the comforter over both of their body, feeling an immense relief overwhelming her, a calmness of some sort, something she had never felt before. Like she was where she needed to be, and nothing else mattered anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for your comments as always !
> 
> So this chapter...Don't ask me where it came from. I have no clue.

Chapter 15

Carol woke up couple of hours later, confused at first by the warm figure spooning her, a protective arm across her lap. A smile found its way on her face when she felt how tender she was « down there ». It had been so long, and she quickly put the pieces of th puzzle together, flashes of last night invading all her senses.

Too excited to stay still, she very carefully removed the brunette's arm from her body, turning around to face her like a ninja trying to avoid a rain of deadly arrows. She could not take the risk to wake her, she was not ready yet to face this new reality. To face this new day that was like yesterday but still so much different.  
Contemplating Therese's face soflty illuminated by the moonlight, the blonde could not help herself from tracing her face lightly, like she had done before, like a forbidden pleasure. But now, now she wondered if it was something she could do in the light of day ? Like kissing her rosy lips, holding her strong hands ? That thought alone was enough to make Carol groan softly, bitting her lips in agony.  
A sleepy chuckle errupted in the quiet room and she jumped slightly, not expecting this exquisite sound to permeate her ears.  
''Are you done perving or what ?'' Therese was playful, voice low, thick with sleep, but Carol immediately brought her hands to her chest, vulnerable at being caught staring at the woman before her.  
''I'm sorry I woke you up'' She murmurred, tentatively placing a hand on Therese's cheek. The brunette nuzzeled against her palm, eyes still closed, enjoying the comfort of the moment.

''Don't appologize, I'm better awake, able to feel your hands on me...'' Her tone was still pretty much tainted with sleep, but the blonde could not help but swallow hard, aware of how little the younger woman was wearing, herslef being plain naked.   
Swallowing heavily, she scooped forward a little, a hand under her cheek, the other caressing Therese's shoulders and back slowly. Needing the contact, but also dying for more.  
Therese groaned in satisfaction, but soon the atmosphere changed. Her breathing labored, her heartbeat quicker. She burried her face in her pillow, not wanting to disturb this quiet moment of peace but her neglected body was betraying her, having a life on its own.

Mermerized to see the brunette's body comming alive under her fingertips, Carol kept her hands wandering lightly over her back, feeling goosebump erupting on her way.

''Carol ?'' Therese's voice was still low, but there was no hint of sleep left in it. It was thick with need. The blonde did not have time to answer, before she heard 2 words that nearly made her come undone.

''Touch me''

Not needing to be told twice, she immediately complied and hovered herslef over the woman's back, kissing her shoulders, her neck, her face reverently. Tasting this skin she had dreamed about for so long. The brunette was trembling under her, breathing hard, moving her head on the side to grand her access to that sweet spot below her ear.  
The feeling of Carol's nipples brushing against her back's sensitive skin, coupled with the hungry wet kisses she was leaving all over her neck, was driving the young woman wild.  
She started to writh, grinding against the matress to get some much needed friction on her soaked center.

Her actions made the blonde groan with desire, as she moved back a little, allowing her hands to roam around the woman's behind, her hips, her lower back. Soon her mouth followed, kissing any square centimeter of skin she could find.

Therese's smell invided her and she was soon overcome by a strong wave of raw desire, her mouth watering, pupils dilating. She stood on her knees at the brunette's feet, hearing her groan in protest at the lack of contact. She guided a teasing hand inside Therese's calf, bringing it up to her tight, feeling how warm she was, so wet for her. The toned legs in front of her opened a little, giving her an easy access to her drenched sex.  
And she did not lose her time. She quickly got rid of the brunette's soaked panties before kissing her legs, her tights, her cheeks. She slapped the brunette's behind softly, happy to have her comply immediately by lifting her hips a little.   
She carefully manoeuvred herself under her, and immediately took her first taste. And righ then, she knew she was a gooner. There was no way she would be able to find anything more addictive. She kissed the brunette's core hungrily, playing with her tongue to learn all her secrets spots. Too soon to her liking, Therese was having a hard time holding herslef up, mutering unteligible words under her breath, while gripping the sheets with her hands.

Not happy to be done so soon, Carol moved out of her spot, hearing Therese sobbing at the loss.

''Please Carol I can't...''

Hearing this strong woman begging her to be fucked was more than she could handle and soon she was crawling back against the brunette's body, burrying two long fingers in her core on her way.

Therese cried out loudly, not expecting the intrusion, but letting her body completly surrender to Carol. She felt so good inside of her she felt she could cry. She felt teeth biting her shoulder and groaned again, her pleasure skyrocketing to knew heights.  
The blonde felt in total control, touching the brunette in the most intimate way while she was coming undone. The little moans and grunts that were leaving her sweet mouth lit a new fire in her lower body and she was soon using Theres's ass to pleasure herself, trembling as a deep satisfaction filled her body.  
The combination of Carol's fingers pumping inside her widely and her wetness coating her skin was enough to send Therese over the edge, Carol climaxing on top of her right after.

Had she been dreaming ? Did it really happen ? Therese's foggy mind was trying to recover, to find a prove that this had been real. Carol's blonde curls falling on her neck was a good indication of what transpired between the two women.

Fearing to completely crush the brunette under her weight, the blonde rolled over with a groan, her body hit by the coldness of the winter night. Therese turned on her side, facing her, and the two women kissed slowly, languidly, wanting to convey what they were feeling. Wanting to reassure the other it would be okay, they would be okay.

The rest of night and the weekend was spent in the same fashion. The two women no separating each other for long period of time. Too addicted to each other's body to find more interesting things to do than making love. Over and over again. Everywhere, Everyway possible... Did they even have a life before this ? The brunette wondered while opening the shower door to join her favorite meal.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

''OMG you got laid !!''  
Marc was nearly shouting and Carol's eyes opened wide, not expecting the intrusion.  
''You did, right ?''  
''Oh My fucking God Marc, will you stop ?'', Carol was blushing now, rushing to close her office door while letting her boss in.  
''Well dear, that looks good on you'' he said, giving her a smug little smile, seemingly pleased with his finding.

Carol pretended not to pay much attention, getting back behind her desk to tak her seat.

''What can I do for you ?'' She said, leaning back in her leather office chair, an air of arrogance on her face.

Walking briskly towards the sofa, he excitedely added  
''It was that good ?''  
'Would you just stop?'' Narrowing her eyes just a bit, the blonde was trying to play it cool, but started to quirm under such intense scrutiny. 10 seconds passed till she gave up, leaning her elbows on her desk, head raised.

''You have no. Fuckin. Idea...''

''Well fuckin you did dear'' he said laughing goofily.

The vibration of an incoming text disturbed the two friends and Carol tried to keep her face from breaking into the largest smile ever.

THERESE : I'm downstairs, I brought lunch. Did not bother with desserts ;-)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Carol felt herself close to colapsing as she stood up from her chair that day. Her legs felt weak, her body shiverish as an excruciating pain was diffusing through her lower belly.  
Gritting her teeth, she stopped, hands on her desk, willing her body to relax. It was no use tho and soon she was folding herself in two, ready to empty her stomach.

She knew the situation, she knew what was happening. It was a cruel awakening to the little pink bubble she had been in this last week. Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, she look at the caller ID before sighing deeply. She hit the red button and tried to make it throught the door.

She had ordered an UBER and was relieved the grey car was already waiting for her outside the Opera. The short ride was spent in tense silence, the driver aware of her discomfort.  
He tried to ask if he could help in French, but she stopped him, hand raised. Trying her most intimidating look. It seemed to work.

Fumbling with her keys, she removed her coat and shoes with little ceremony, throwing her bag on the floor before colapsing on the sofa, looking absolutely miserable. The cramps were bad. She could tell they were getting worst each month, and would probably keep ruining her life several day per months for the next coming years. Or months.  
It started 6 months ago. The mood swings, the hot flashes, the overly abondant flow.. She did not want to see it till Abby pointed it out to her. She was 46, she was a woman. And soon enough, she would be tagged with the label of old age for women.

Deep down she knew it was stupid, that her life was far from over, but still it was there in her head. Like she had reached her expiration date somehow.   
Her phone vibrated again in her pocket, creating a complex mix of emotions in her brain. 

It was Therese, her sweet Therese. Her young love, her younger lover. Here it was, clear as day, the age difference. Knowing she could not ignore the woman much longer, she tried to compose herself, rubbing her belly soothingly before taking the call.

''Hey there !''  
''Hi..''  
The brunette froze immediately, the hair at the back of her head standing, an unseasy feeling settling in her stomach.

''Are you okay ?''  
''Yes, just back from work actually''  
''Okay.'' ''Want to come to my place ?'' Therese was hopefull wanting to hold Carol in her arms after a full day of meaningless meetings. They had not seen each other for 48hours and that felt like months to her.  
'' I'm sorry but no, not tonight. I have a work dinner''. Carol hated herself for lying but she could not stop the words leaving her mouth.  
''Oh okay''. The deception on the brunette's voice was clear to the both of them and a silence stretched between them. The first in a long time.

''Did I do something wrong ?'' She tentatively asked, unsure.  
''Ohh Therese, of course not you did not darling'' the blonde cooed, feeling even more guilty now.

''Where is the dinner ?''  
Not expecting the question, Carol stammered a little, knowing she had been caught.

''There is no dinner right'' ? The silence on the line confirmed her fears and Therese sighed.  
''So why ?''

''Therese please, don't...'' The blonde pleaded, tears in her eyes.  
Was Carol crying ? She was at loss, not sure of what was happening. Debating with herself for couple of seconds, the decision came easy.

''I'll be there in 20''' Before hanging up.

Looking at her phone in shock, she was not sure what to do with the information. Forcing herself up, she went to the bathroom to retrieve two pills from a little carboard box. She swallowed them down quickly with a glass of water, knowing they would most like not help at all. As usual.  
A sharp pain invaded her body and she was soon using the door to keep herself upright. Trying to calm her breathing.

She would not be able to hide it much longer, that she knew.   
She opened the shower curtain before turning the water to scalding hot. She made a mental note to turn the key in the bathroom lock, needing her space. She soon let the warm water cascade over her body, soothing her aching muscles nicely.

Xxxxxx

Therese knocked softly on the big wooden door, waiting for an answer.  
''Carol'' She called. And Called. And again. Starting to panic, she turned the knob slowly, letting herself in the large appartment.  
Her eyes first found the wool coat discarded messily on the floor, then the shoes, her bag... Worry started to creep in her mind as she picked each item cautiously, placing them where they belonged.

''Carol !'' She tried again.  
Making her way into the hall, she heard the water in the nearby bathroom and released a breath she did not know she had been holding.   
She hesitated for a moment, but decided to not interrup the blonde, knowing something had obviously been up. Sitting on the comfortable couch, she then grabbed a book trying to pay attention to whatever was written on the white pages.

Turning the shower off, Carol folded a towel over her body, not loosing a minute before grabbing the well needed supplies in the middle drawer. She felt a little better but still weak and mostly gross. She removed the steam from the mirror, taking couple of minutes to remove her makeup before starting a light routine, not feeling like spending too much time looking at herself.  
Knowing Therese would arrive soon, she turned the knob, remembering the lock before finally opening it wide.

She did not need to look, she immediately knew Therese was here. She could feel it in her bones.

''Hi''   
The soft voice confimed her thoughts and she turned around  
''Hi''

Therese stood up quickly walking in her direction before stopping at the sight before her. Carol just out of the shower, her hair wet, her face bare, her pink silk pyjama on. It was barely passed 7. This was enough to tell her something was wrong.

''Are you feeling sick ?'' She asked tenderly, closing the gap between them, afraid to touch her.

Carol nodded softly, a tentative smile on her face. She wondered why she had been fighting against the woman so much, she knew she would not take no for an answer. This was what she admired in her, her fiercness, her protectiveness. But that did not change the reality.

''I'm just going to bed, I... ''  
''Carol, what's wrong ?''

The cramps choose that moment to make themseves known and the blonde tried her hardest to not show anything. Keeping her face neutral, holding her breath at the violence of the pain.   
Not letting herself be fooled much longer, a little light bulb lit the brunette's head and she immediately took the blonde in her arms, feeling relief wash over her.   
''Go lie down, I'll stay with you''.  
''You don't have too Therese...'' The blonde tried.  
''Let me ! Please '' There was no room for negociation, she would stay.

Carol nodded, letting herself relax into Therese's embrace. Too weak to fight.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The brunette dragged her towards the bed, noting how everything seemed the be upside down in the room, so untypical she thought.  
Without a word, Carol climbed onto the matress, wincing a little at the coldness of the sheets. Therese sat on the other side, caressing her cheek tenderly, concerned.

''Why did you not tell me...'' se tried tentatively.

Not having the energy to fight, Carol started to sigh deeply.  
''Therese, please...'' It came out like a warning

Nodding, the young woman dropped the topic, climbing on the bed beside her. She did not know what to do, not sure what the blonde needed at that moment.  
She finally decided she would go to bed too, helping herself around the appartment, removing her clothes before looking for some pyjama she could wear. She came back later, climbing behing Carol spooning her protectively.

The two women remained silent for a while, the blonde trying to deal with the pain while Therese was left with unanswered questions. She swallowed them, placing a soothing hand on Carol's belly, rubbing softly while kissing the back of her neck.  
She felt her relax progressively, and kept her close to her own body.

''I'm sorry'' Therese jumped a little. Startled. She had been dozing off...

''What ?''

Taking a deep breath, Carol turned around, not looking into her eyes.

''For lying to you'' she replied simply.

''That's okay''  
Therese was serious, quite bruised with the lie but wanting to know what was the reason behind.  
''Why did not you tell me Carol ?''

Squirming a bit, the blonde tried to move away a little, but she was kept in place by a pair of strong arms gently tightening around her.

''What are you afraid of...'' The sentence was cut short by a frustrated looking blonde.

''Nothing !'' Lifting her head immediately, Carol looked in her eyes for the first time. 

The brunette was looking at her expectantly. Waiting for her to continue... But nothing more came out of this delighful mouth. Then she wondered if maybe....  
''You did not want me to see you sick ?'' she said knowingly, smiling softly

''That's not that...'' Carol's tone was defective, there was something behind but she could not pinpoint what.

''What is it then ?''  
Therese was starting to be frustrated. She did not understand what all that fuss was about.

''Would you just stop !'' She snapped.  
Carol was pissed now, she had no patience left and for the first time ever she did not want Therese here with her. She did not want her to see her that moment.

''Is having period pain shameful ?'' The brunette was bitting her lips, trying to not bite back at the blonde's harsh tone. The argument was inevitable and a thick tension was now surrounding them, waiting the right moment to explode...

''You don't get it....''  
''Then Tell me...''  
''I can't...''  
''Why ?''  
''Because...''  
''Carol ! Tell me !''

''Therese...'' Here it was again. There was a warning in her tone

''Try me... !!''

The defiance in her voice made the blonde snap her head up, looking at her again with fury in her eyes. They stared at each other for couple of seconds before Therese realized she would not get Carol to trust her by pushing her. All the fight left her body a that thought and she tenderly craddled her lover's face in her hands before kissing her softly, reassuringly.

''Whatever you will tell me, it's okay... But now you are worrying me...Carol. Are you... Sick ?''

''What do you mean ?'' Carol was confused, caressing the soft hands holding her face.

''Well, are you really sick and you don't want to tell me... '' There had tears in her eyes now, the brunette not standing the idea she might lose her.

Horrified by the implication, the blonde shook her head vehemently, at loss  
''Therese no !'' I'm okay...''

''Then what ?'' Tears were straining Therese's eyes now. Carol could not remember seeing her so vulnerable before. All because of her...

''Therese...'' she took a deep breath. ''I'm...I'm.... I'm having menopause symptoms''  
She said it, it was out. She closed her eyes, feeling the bitter taste of shame on her tongue.

A throaty chuckle made her open her eyes again in question. Therese now laughing lightly, looking at her in disbelief, gripping the material of her pyjama top with her fists.

''Did you fuckin cut me off because of that ?''

Not finding the humor in the situation, Carol tried to push the brunette away. 

''Don't! Carol don't!'' She said indignantly, tightening her hold.  
Her next words died in her throat as she read anguish and saddness written on the blonde's features. She tipped her chin up with her hand, trying to understand what was happening. The blonde took in a shaky breath, not flinching at the touch but not meeting her gaze either.

That's when it hit her.  
''You thought I would push you away ?'' She murmured, frowning, not sure how to process the information.The silence she got in return told her everything she wanted to know.

''Oh Carol, are you serious ? Do you really think I would give a damn about it ? I'm not trying to get you pregnant for god sake !'' she sermoned before laughing again.  
''Even If I had to say... With the number of times we've been...''

''Stop it''  
Carol was pouting now, letting Therese take her in her arms, head on her lap. Both women remain silent one moment, collecting their thoughts and the implications behind this revelation.

''You don't trust me dont you ?''  
''Sorry ?''  
''You still don't believe I could have an interest in you ?'' The brunette was serious know, disapointment tainting her voice.

''It's just... We are having... fun.I don't want to ruin it by reminding you how much older I am...''

''Is it what it is about ? About the age difference ?''

''Oh course it is. It has always been the topic...''

Carol noted how Therese did not correct her when she said they were having fun, and she could not explain the sadness that constricted her chest. They were just fooling around, nothing more...

Not knowing how to explain things with words, the brunette took her hand slowly, driving it down her taunt stomach, sliding under the elastic band of the pair of shorts she was wearing.

Frozen, the blonde was not sure what to expect. She let herself feel the soft skin under her fingertips, before the brunette's hands left hers.

''Feel it''  
Scrunching her brows in confusion, she raised her head questioningly.

''Feel it for yourself...How wet that makes me, just casually lying down with you...''

Not expecting this, the blonde did not have time to process the admission further before the brunette took her hand again, dragging it down slowly till she felt the soft patch of curls indicating she was close... She immediately felt a pang of arousal hit her, realising how close she was to Therese's core, feeling the heat radiating from it.

''Go on''  
Not dropping the topic, the brunette was commanding now, spreading her legs a little, closing her eyes shut. Waiting.

Tentatively, Carol let her hand wander south, immediately sourrounded by liquid heat. She was mesmerized, hearing in delight Therese taking into a shuddering breath as her fingers caressed her slowly. Intimately.

Not wanting it to get out of hand, the brunette stopped her hand gently. Before clapsing it with both of hers to her chest.  
''See, this is what you do to me Carol. So I fuckin don't care how old you are, or about how damaged you are, or about menaupose... What I care about, is that I've never... Ever. Wanted someone as much as I want you. This I cannot fake. It's just a fact. And nothing will change that''

Not sure how to answer, the blonde looked at her softly before grabbing her face and kissing her tenderly, needed to feel her lips, needing to taste her. The kiss grew passionnate and she forced herslef to slow it down. Happy when Therese lied on her shoulder, kissing her neck reverently.

This young woman never ceased to amaze her...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A week passed and Carol felt both extatic and nervous.  
Since this night when Therese came to her place, things had changed between them. Things had changed for fot the best.

It was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was feeling strong, she was feeling good in her skin. She was feeling beautiful even. She could not remember feeling that way in the last 10 years. Ever.  
Still she knew the reason behind this change. And it had a name : Therese

But the bitter taste in her throat kept growing. It did not matter how much she told herself to not think about it, or the number of time she had made the brunette scream her name, com undone under her... All of that was not enough to hide the reality. The brunette would be back to New York in 2 days, and their bubble of happiness would be popped forever.

Sitting in her big office chair, Carol took a moment to reflect on the last few weeks. Marvelling at how much things had changed.

A soft knock on the door made her snap her head up, a broad smile taking over her face as Therese entered, a paper bag in hand.

''Delivery, for Mrs. Aird'' Smiling seductively, the brunette closed the door behing her. There was no doubt where this lunch break would go... Carol felt butterfly erupt in her belly, anticipation making her heart beat widely.  
Still, today she felt good, she felt in control. And Therese for sure would understand that soon.

Following her with darken eyes, she did not move an inch when the brunette took a sit on her desk, facing her. She rolled her chair backwards, turning serious, not ready to give in just yet.

''Well, Miss Believet...''

''Mrs Aird''. Therese had to say that woman was sex on legs. Her new confidence in private did wonder to her ragging desire. Not that she needed it. But a Carol Aird, all business like, looking at her like she was about to eat her alive... Well she felt very clammy out of sudden.

''Lock the door behind you would you ? And when you're done, come sit on my lap...''

Therese executed herself immediately, a soft blush covering her cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and all your comments!
> 
> So to answer the questions, the symptoms described are those all the women in my family reaching that point in their life endured. Can't wait for my turn... :-p
> 
> This story will hit a turning point soon....


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Therese was close to finish her parisian mission. She was discussing the last details with Edouard but he could tell his friend was distracted. Looking through the screen in front of them, she was barely aknowledging the people around her. Not paying enough attention to correct their mistakes, pinpoint the parts that needed to be reworked.

''Ok let's stop !'' He sternly stated.  
Therese turned her gaze back at him, not sure about what he was refering about.

''We still have a couple of points to...''

''Therese just stop !''  
'' You've been missing these last few days. We are moving backwards with this project I swear... So let's stop a minute here. And spill the beans... Tell me...'' 

He went to close his office door, before slumping ungracefully on the big chair in front of the desk. Edouard was tired, he was annoyed, but also concerned for the young woman.

''I don't get it sorry, what are you talking about Ed ?'' 

Therese was in disbelief, quite worried her work was not giving entire satisfaction to the firm. She had a high opinion of her work and would not tolerate anything less than perfection...  
Still, she knew she had been quite...Somewhere else these last few days. And that's when it hit her. Of course he had seen the difference. Of course he was able to put the pieces together...

''You are still seeing each other...''

Lowering her head, Therese felt like a teenager caught by her father. Still she irrationnaly felt anger bubbling inside of her. She was angry, she did not know why exactly, but she felt like screaming, like lashing out. Her mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out. No words she could pronounce in front of her current boss anyway. No matter how close they were.

Sensing she was on a verge of a breakdown, Edouard felt sympathy for the young woman. Love was tough. That he knew.

''C'mon Therese, I'm your friend. You know that right ? Tell me...''

Steeling herself, the brunette was close to touch the door handle when a sentance stopped her.

''You've not discussed it haven't you ?''  
She turned towards him, pleading with her eyes for him to stop. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. Not after seeing how much she was hurting. It was written all around her beautiful face.

''What do you want Therese ?'' He asked kindly.

Wipping her nose with her fingers, Therese realized she had been crying. Silentely.  
She did not recognize her own voice when it left her mouth. Raw, full of emotions.  
''I want...her''. She was defeated, not sure what else could be said.

The weight of the situation finally hit her and she started to sob, relieved when Ed engulfed her in a bear hug.  
''It will be alright dear, I promise it will be alright''. Trying to soothe her the best he could. He knew him and Marc might have to play the Cupidons again... And soon.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Carol was busying herslef with work. The grand End-Year concert was tonight, and she was glad for the distraction. Between the Christmas period she would spend alone without her daughter and the prospect of Therese leaving soon. It was too much...

Still she was trying to find the good in every situation. She tried to repeat herslef life was good. She was in such a better place now... She had her life back. She was free, she had a job she loved, a lovely daughter. She was happy... At least she was as close to being happy as she had been in a very long time. She would not let the thoughts of the brunette returning to the US affect her.

After all it was what they had agreed ? Just occasionnal hook ups, just living what had not been possible when they were student and professor. They agreed right ? It was just casual sex. Yep. Just casual increadibly hot and passionnate sex.  
The open heart discussions, the intense cuddling and looking at the other sleeping with dreamy eyes. That was part of it. That was totally part of it. Friends with benefits.  
The butterflies in her belly whenever the brunette was concerned. Friends with benefits....

The more Carol kept repeating this fact in her head, the more she realized how lost she was. They had not discussed anything... But could she take the risk to have her heart being broken ? She did not want to think about it. Or about what their relation meant for Therese. Therese. Her. Friend. With Benefits.

Looking at the last repetition for the Romeo and Juliet Ballet, she made the last recommandations before going back to her office. Her outfit for the night was carefully placed on a hanger on the wall, waiting for her.

The plan was for her to go through her day, prepare for tonight. Be the master of ceremony... Knowing surely in the crowd, she would be able to feel Therese's eyes on her. Burning her skin, making her heart jump a bit.  
They had plan to meet after the event during the cocktail, nothing else being discussed. Cause the underlying truth was that the brunette would leave the next morning.  
Leave forever ? Probably. Would they share a last night ? A steamy goodbye ? Probably.  
Then they would both go back to their lives, with good memories and a door being closed. After exactly 12 years. Cause yes, it will be 12 years tonight that Therese left... And she would repeat the performance again. Like it had been decided all along by whatever deity.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Therese was looking at herself in her bathroom mirror. She felt like she was going on her first date. She had no idea why she was so nervous at the idea of meeting Carol at the Opera.  
Well actually she knew why. Because it would be the last time. Because it felt lik they had so much to discuss but not enough time. Or at least she had a lot to discuss, but maybe the blonde felt differently ? After all she was the one saying they were having fun. And she respected that. She totally respected that. She would give the blonde whatever she needed. Even if it was killing her inside... But still she wondered : What if for once, she was getting was she needed instead. How would that feel ? To have someone that she loves, loving her back. Love... This word has been on her mind these last weeks. If she was honest with herself, it had probably been floatting around her mind for the last 12 years, she was just to scared to look at it... Like she was now.

Fixing her makeup, she smoothed invisible lines on her dress, the dark green silk material immaculate. Looking at her phone, she knew she needed to go, time was moving too fast but there was nothing else she could do about it.

Turning the light off, she looked at her appartment. Her home for these last few weeks. She had such good memories here... Probably more than in her NY flat she thought...  
She looked around the place with nostalgy, everything already packed. Her presence ready to be erased from the place. Closing the door behind her, she hugged her black whool coat tightly around her slim body, ready for the night to come.

The Uber pulled just in front of the Opera, and she was surprised to see they were there already. She had been distracted once again. Images of Carol flooding her mind. That's when she realized how much she wanted to see her, to hold her close...  
Hurriedly making her way out of the car, she decided against the main entrance and headed instead towards the backside of the building. Towards the door she came to know so well during these last weeks.

''Miss Believet''  
A tall smart looking guy opened the door for her, before speaking to his mic.

She passed through several security checks, relieved when they let her in. Used to her random appearances.

She looked at her watch. It was supposed to start in 30 mins. She nearly ran down the halls, hoping Carol would be in her office. They had not discussed meeting prior to the event but never mind.

The door was closed, and she stopped in front of it. Catching her breath, not sure what her next move should be. She heard ruffling inside and just decided to knock softly, looking around the hall briefly, not wanting to raise any attention.

''I''ll be a minute !'' Came a muffled voice.  
Not wanting to wait anymore, Therese just opened the door slowly, peeking her head inside before stepping all the way in.  
Adjusting her earings, Carol looked geniunely surprised when she spotted her on the mirror she was looking at.

She turned around just in time to feel Therese's lips colliding with hers. Air being kicked out of her lungs. Melting into the touch, she caressed the young woman's cheeks softly, kissing her back with intensity. Her mouth opened slightly and she felt a soft tongue poking hers, sliding against hers in a well known battle. Bringing their bodies closer, the brunette was taking the lead, gripping her neck, her back, taking everything she had to offer.  
On the verge of passing out from the lack of oxygen in her bodies, both women reluctantly parted. Panting hard. Therese head on the blonde's shoulder.

''Well.. What was that all about ? Not that I'm complaining...''  
Grinning like a fool, Carol was buzzing with excitment, happiness... She just felt alive.

But when Therese finally met her gaze, she did not see the playfulness she was expecting. Instead she saw a blank look, unreadable. Miles away from what had just transpired between them.  
A bit taken aback, she was about to ask something when a loud knock made them jump appart.  
''Carol !!!'' It was Marc.

Knowing she had to go, the blonde took Therese's hands soflty, kissing her wrists tenderly.  
''Will you join me after...'' She said with hooded eyes. Her intentions clear.  
She felt the brunette soften under her touch, before she smiled slightly and traced her lips with her thumb.  
''You might want to take a look at that'' she said playfully, pointing at the smeared lipstick now adorning her face.

Carol chuckled lightly, eyes sparkling. She turned towards the mirror to fix herslef and left the office. Pinning Therese with one last look, like saying ''I'll wait for you''.  
With that, the brunette was alone with her thoughts. A warmth spreading in her chest, envelopping her heart, just at seeing Carol so carefree, so vibrant. That woman deserved the world, and just seeing her that way was enough to fill her with joy.  
Fixing her own makeup, she made her exit minutes later, meeting Edouard by the front raw.

Soon the lights were turned off and only silence was heard in the massive concert hall.  
The room erupted in applause when Carol appeared on stage. Looking like a goddess in her long black dress. The brunette heard a buzz of wonder in the room when they spotted her, immeditely smitten by this scultpural creature. Her charms in full display, her voice rich like velvet, her French close to perfect... And a little pang jealousy made its way in Therese's heart, thinking they would be allowed to see her when she would not. They would be able to talk to her when she would not... She did not want to think about anyone touching her. That she could not. She was feeling this strange feeling again. Like they somehow belonged to each other ? What a weird way to feel... Especially when everything would be over, at midnight ? Like Cindirella.  
A midnight steamy fuck feelt more appropriate than a full night of love making before farewells would be shared...  
What a fucking mess she thought. How had her life been turned upside down like this ? How did she let this happen ? How was she supposed to get back to normal now ? 

The first notes of the Orchestra interrupted her train of thoughts and she let herself be transported by the tragic of the piece. Mesmerized by the dancers.

After 2hours, the evening was over and the lights were turned on again. All the guests marvelling at the quality of what they had just witnessed. Happy to share their opinions with their companions.  
Still Therese felt like she had not it in her to join any of those discussions, feeling like each second she would spend with them was one second spent away from Her. How stupid she felt. Still she kept looking at her watch.  
It was 11.10PM... Her flight was at 10 the next morning. She needed to check out at 7 :30, head to the airport...She would wake up at 6.45. It was all set.  
It had been organized weeks before by her assistant. And for once she felt a bit sad knowing everything would ran smootly, there would not be any peebbles, any glitches that would prevent her from arriving to her destination.

Drinking her second flute of Champaign of the night, Therese shuddered when a warm breath tickled her right ear ''So what do you think ? Did you like it ?''  
Carol was holding her waist as she talk, eyes sparkling again, she was oozing confidence tonight. Sexyness. And the looks she was getting were just proving it.  
This enerved the brunette who felt like she wanted her for herslef. She did not want to see anyone else looking at her with hungry eyes. Not tonight. 

''It was sensational'' She replied, a small smile gracing her lips, before sipping on her wine again.

Sensing she was not in the mood to discuss, Carol squeezed her side softly.

''Are you alright here ? You seem a bit...''  
''A bit what ?''  
''I don't know.. A bit quiet...''  
''Just tired I guess'' Therese replied curtly. Noting a little flash of disapointment crossing the blonde's features.

''Oh okay... I don't want to keep you from-''  
''You're not keeping me from anything Carol'' she replied ernestly, looking at her intently. Like trying to memorize each tiny details she came to love so much...

''Alright missy...Then let me finish my networking duties and I'll meet you outside?'' Carol winked at her suggestively, her intentions clear.

Nodding silently, Therese watched her go, feeling a lump forming down her throat. A last fuck. She could do it. She could do it. She could. do. it.

She could not help but remind herself of two points.

First : She had been repeating that sentence like a mantra for months. With Jen. But it had been the opposite. She did not want to be with her, she was convincing her she Should be with her when it felt wrong.  
Tonight she was trying to convince herslef she did not need Carol in her life, that she could just fuck her, feel her, taste her, make love to her... Whatever you wanna call it. And that was it. The End.

Second : The date.  
Tonight was like an anniversary of some sort. The anniversary of herself breaking her own heart. She would do it again it seems... Life was funny sometimes. Or a bitch.

Trying to collect the pieces of her bleeding heart, she made her way towards the exit, not bothering to say goodbye to Ed & Marc. She would send them a text later on...

''Here you are...'' Carol found her 30 mins after, the alcool starting to kick into her system. Seems like she had defintely more than one drink. She slided her hand around her biceps, before whispering into her ear seductively ''Your place or mine ?''

''Well...knowing my place is mostly empty by now, I would say. Yours ?'' The bitterness in her tone was missed by the tipsy blonde, and Therese knew she was being unfair. She was not making any sense.  
She helled a cab and helped Carol climb inside, the blonde dropping her head on her shoulder, close to nodding off.

The brunette took her hand and lead her towards the stairs, making sure she would not trip over her designer heels. She opened the blonde's bag, looking for her keys before opening the door.

Soon they were both safely inside, and Carol did not miss a second, pinning her against the wall, kissing her sloppily, hungrily. Hands roaming all around her body, chuckling when she fumbled with the buttons of her coat.  
Therese tried to let herself enjoy the moment, tried to let her body relax, to tell her mind to shut up, but it did not work. It just felt so wrong. The taste of alcool on her tongue. The clamminess of her hands, the recklessness in her actions. It all felt so far away from what her heart was screaming, from what she was trying to forget...

For the second time, she did something that felt completely foreign to her. She pushed a fucking horny and sex-on-legs looking Carol Aird off of her. Taking both of her wrists in her hands, stopping her from touching her.

''I'm sorry, I can't...'' Her voice was breaking, the emotions getting the better of her.

Carol's body went rigid. The moment broken. What the hell did just happen ?  
At loss, the blonde looked at Therese, noting the anguish on her beautiful face. 

''I think we better part now Carol '' She said with a confidence she was definitely not feeling.

The blonde's foggy brain tried to catchup with what was happenin in front of her. Did Therese not want her ? But she had been the one coming to her office earlier.. Then what ?

Horrified, she reamained frozen as Therese buttonned her coat back, before placing a soft kiss on her lips. She did not dare breathing as the young woman's hands caressed her cheeks, tears in her eyes, not meeting her gaze.

''We knew that moment would come. Still I had not anticipated it would be so hard... I wish you. The best Carol. All the best'' She stopped, collecting her thoughts. She could do it.  
''You deserve the world and more. You deserve everything. I know you will be okay, I have no doubt about that...''

Then she dropped her hands to the side, leaving the warmth of that skin she was addicted to, seeing now unshed tears straining Carol's cheeks. What a mess...

Was it a goodbye then ? The blonde wondered. This is how it would happen ?  
Herself half drunk and a sad looking Therese ? No it could not be ...

Pleading with her eyes, she was trying to find something to say. « Stay », or « Please don't leave me ». But the words died in her throat.  
That was it she thought. They both knew it would happen. What else could she do ? Outside respecting Therese's wish ? And right now she wanted to be out of her way...out of her life.

One last look was exchanged and Therese opened the door. Closing it softly behind her. Rushing down the stairs afraid she would turn around, not hearing the sound of Carol's muffled cries as she let her body slide down the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are allowed to hate me...


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

MARC : ''Enjoy your night :-p''

The adrenaline rush she felt hearing the buzzing of her phone was short lived.  
It was not Therese. Because Therese was gone...  
She tossed the electronic device across the room, hearing it shattering loudly against the wall.

Carol had been crying for an hour now, the pain sobering her alcoolic brain.  
She finally found the energy to drag herself out of the living room, colapsing on her bed, face down. It still smelt like her...

Overwhelmed by the silence of the room, she felt the tingling of tears treatening to fall again. But she was tired of crying. She just wanted to burry her face in the brunette's neck, tasting her skin, marking her. She was trying to remember their last moment of intimacy, a sad smile gracing her lips at the memory. Her sweet Therese....

Groaning in a mix of pain and despair, she rolled ungracefully out of bed, her body still trapped in her tight dress. She was so uncomfortable... Sighing deeply, she entered the bathroom and took a minute to look at herslef. And what a mess...

Her hair was all over the place, makeup smearing her face, and was it a hickey on her neck ? She could not help but touch the tender skin, eyes glued to the reddish area. Removing her dress, she was soon reminded of her ruined panties and took them off, not wanting to feel the effect of her previous arousal anywhere near her. She hurriedely discarded everything in a corner, before pulling the shower curtain and turning the water on.  
Stepping in, she let it cascade down her tired body, trying to wash away the events of the last hours.

She felt an ache in her bones, like a void she could not remember feeling before. Or actually she did, but not to that extent. Everytime Rindy was leaving to see her father...  
Her precious girl, she could make her feel better, she was always making everything better.

Taking in a shuddering breath, Carol wrapped a towel around herself before tip toing to the living room. She sighed again, looking at the big scratch present on her phone's screen. A witness of her internal turmoil.  
It was 1 in the morning, so 7 in NYC. Perfect timing. Without second guessing it, she pressed the call button and waited impatiently, pacing her appartment.

''Carol....''  
''Harge...''  
It was always so tense between them now, she almost forgot...  
She swallowed hard, not wanting to let her emotions be heard by the man.

''Can I talk to her...please''  
He sighed, then she heard a ruffling sound and finally a little voice filled her ears

''Mommy ??''

''Hi sweatpea, how are you ?'' Carol could not help but felt her throat constrict hearing her little girl. How she was missing her, it all felt too much at that moment...

''I'm good...It's Christmas tomorrow''  
There was an hesitation in her voice and the blonde knew immediately there was something on her daughter's mind.

''Yes it is ! Are you excited , All these presents waiting for you !'' She tried to cheer the girl up but only got a long silence in return. She had not expected it.

''Tell me sweetheart'' She cooed.

Rindy was debating, wether or not answering her mom's question, but her curiosity got the better of her. ''Will you be alone for Christmas ?''  
There was sadness in her tone and Carol's heart broke a little.

''Oh honey, are you worried about me ?''  
She heard some ruffling sounds again in the background. A man's voice.  
Gritting her teeth, she knew her time was up.

''Will Therezzz be with you ?'' The hope in her daughter's voice, almost brought the mother to tears. She did not know how to answer that question. 

''She promised...'' The defeated tone was more than she could bear that moment. Clearing her throat, she was at loss.  
''What-What did she promise sweetheart ?''

''That she would keep you happy for Christmas...'' the young girl replied close to a whisper...

''Good night Carol''  
With that, Harge ended the call, leaving the blonde emotionnal, trying to make sense of what her girl just said.

Therese had made a promise to Rindy ?  
Therese had agreed to keep her happy for Christmas ?  
So did Therese plan to stay ? Or did she just say that to alleviate her daughter's concerns ?

She frowned at the thought of Rindy sharing that kind of things with someone else. It made her feel vulnerable and lonely...

Bitting her nails, the blonde was restless, pacing, trying to make sense of it all. Why was it so difficult to let go ? She felt like she was just holding onto anything that could bring her back to the young woman. Like lookinG for a sign, for something.  
Fidgeting with her phone, she could not help but click on the brunette's text window, hovering over her picture. How beautiful she was... Just looking at her was enough to make her stomach contract in anticipation.  
Should she send her a message ? But to say what ?  
Carol felt like the way they parted was wrong, but surely she was the only one thinking that ?

She tried to remember the past month. How surprised she had been to see her again. How patient and caring the brunette had been, how gentle, how passionate also. Never shy to share her thoughts, to tell her how beautiful she was, how desirable... Just thinking about the way she had been worshipping her body was making her blush, a rush of blood coursing throught her veins. She could not remember someone appreciating her curves that much.  
She had changed her for the best. She was not the same anymore. The brunette had healed her, had given her something she did not even know she craved...  
Could all of this just disapear in a hearbeat ? Could you unlove someone that easily ? Cause the big L word had been on her lips for days, like a heavy diamond she was hiding, too afraid to let it shine...  
She loved Therese, but did Therese love her ? Could she love her ?

Closing her eyes tightly, Carol dropped her phone on the table before climbing to bed, looking at the ceiling, the silence of the room overwhelming her once more.

Like they said « Sleep on it ! »

Except she did not have much time on her hand. She did not even know at what time Therese's flight was leaving. Could it be... ? Looking at her clock in alarm, she realized it could be anytime, the first flight to NY was surely leaving around 5am, it was 1.30...

Heart in her throat, she could not stand the feeling of loss she was experiencing, she needed to speak to her lover one more time, even if for the last time...Considering her options for a few seconds, she finally jumped out of bed, putting on a pair of yoga pants and a hoodie before grabbing her coat and keys.  
She closed her door with a loud bang, not bothering about the disturbance it could cause. She was on a mission, she just hoped it was not too late...  
Not feeling like taking a cab, she was now walking briskly down the empty streets, running even, to keep herself warm, to keep herself grounded.

Fifteen minutes later she was in front of the Brunette's building, panting, realising she had no idea which interphone belonged to her appartement. On the verge of crying, she ran a nervous hand through her hair, picking her phone before staring blankly at the screen.  
The cold soon started to enveloppe her, and she hurriedly typed a few words. Waiting, her heart beating widely. It was now or never.

''I'm downstairs''

The little comas remained grey for long seconds, minutes ?  
Glued to the screen, the blonde was trembling like a leaf, protecting herself against the wind the best she could. The rain started to pour and she felt like her body would fall appart anytime now.

The buzz of the buidling door woke her up from her torpor and she litterally threw herself against the heavy wood, going up the stairs four by four.

The door opened just in front of her, and she could not help the broad smile that broke over her face at the sight ofTherese, her Therese... She looked so beautiful. Her eyes so soulful... But... had she been crying ?

Frowning, Carol made a step forward, touching her cheek gently. 

''You're cold''  
Was the answer she got. So low she might have missed it.  
The brunette looked so vulnerable right now, like just a word could break her.  
Not standing to be appart much longer, she pushed passed her gently and entered the appartement, Therese eyeing her carefully. Almost scared ? 

The blonde tried to find the words, but nothing came. She wanted to throw herself at the woman in front of her, she wanted to kiss her, to tell it would be alright. But the guarded facade of the brunette made her second guess herself.

Finally Therese broke the silence, her voice tired, raw.   
''Why are you here Carol ?'' she said, turning her back to her, walking towards the living room.

''I wanted to say proper goodbye...'' It even felt silly to her own ears and she heard a dry chuckle leave the brunette's throat. She frowned, not liking the sound of it.

''You want to say proper goodbye ? What does that even mean Carol ?''

''It just felt wrong'' She replied, fidgeting with her fingers, looking into the green eyes she knew so well. They were ice cold at the moment. Like precious gems devoid of life.  
A shudder made goosebumps erupt on her skin. She was not sure if it was the weather or Therese's demeanour that was causing it.

''You're cold''

Out of patience, Carol ran a nervous hand in her hair.

''Yes Therese, i'm cold. I think we've established that already !!!'' She opened her eyes wide hearing the words leaving her mouth. She did not mean to snap. But she could not take the woman's apparent detachement.

''Can... Can we talk ?'' She tried, seeing the shock reflected in Therese's eyes at her suden outburst ?

Indicating the couch with her head, the young woman did not say a word.  
Her head was pounding, millions of thoughts rushing through her tired brain. It was too much. Could Carol not see how much she was struggling here ? Why did she insist in talking about whatever... As she said. To say ''goodbye''. The brunette took a deep breath and sat down, waiting for the blonde to do the same.

''You've been crying...'' It was not a question, more a statement and Carol placed a tentative hand on her cheek, afraid to be pushed away.

Therese did not answer, averting her gaze. Was she not vulnerable enough ? She hated to feel that way. She hated that power the woman had on her. She was not dealing well with abandon, go figure.  
But this was exactly how it had felt. Like Carol had withdrawned from her, using her for sex, keeping her heart from her. 

''Don't be like this please...Therese... Don't make me feel like I've done something wrong''  
Hearing the plea in her voice, the brunette turned her head aside, not wanting to meet Carol's gaze.

''We've never...We've never discussed this'' she continued, gesturing between them with a shaky hand.

''Then let's not start now, I don't want to talk Carol''  
Raising from her seat, the brunette climbed onto the blonde's lap. Not wasting a minute before crashing their lips together.  
She did not want to think, she did not want to talk. She just needed to crawl under the blonde's skin, she needed to taste her one more time. She wanted to brand her, to ruin her even, for any lover after her.  
Carol tried to push her back gently, not understanding the change in demeanor, but strong hands took hold of her wrists pinning her in place.  
''Don't fight this'' Therese breathed in her ear, licking her neck.

That was all it took for Carol to become puty in her hands, shuddering at her touch, the brunette's tongue ravaging her mouth.  
The passion was still there, even stronger if possible. The brunette did not let go of her hands and Carol could not remember her being so forceful, brutal almost. But in a good way... In a really really good way. And she did not care one bit if she could feel bruises appearing on her skin, hissing in pleasure as Therese bite her collarbone, soothing the pain with her warm tongue.  
The young woman was on overdrive, grabbing, licking, biting any centimeter of skin she could reach. She could feel Carol's breasts free of restraints under her hoodie, her nipples hard, brushing against her shirt, it was driving her wild.  
Impatient, she discarded the garment in one smooth motion, leaving the blonde panting, shocked by the gesture.  
A loud squeal left her throat when a warm mouth latched on her sensitive skin, teeth nibbling on her rosy peaks. Therese wanted more. This was not enough, she wanted to feel all of her, she wanted to feel that THIS, what they had shared, was something real.  
Grinding onto the blonde's lap, she let her hand navigate down with purpose, caressing the blonde over her yoga pants. And god she was wet... She could feel it.  
The whimpers she got in response fueled her further and she let her fingers slide under the waistband, surprised to see there was no underwear. Could that woman be ever more sexy ? She doubted so, the blonde was ruining her for everyone. One more reason to drive her out of her mind.

Without much ceremony, she let two strong fingers trust into her lover, groaning in appreciation at the tightness surrounding her. Carol was too lost to form any coherent words, her blonde hair falling over Therese's forehead as she tried to adjust to the welcome intrusion.  
Therese started to pump hard into her, just wanting to hear her scream, to see her come undone.  
And she was not disapointed as the blonde started to tremble, a raw sound leaving her mouth as she came, hard. The brunette swallowed her cries, slowing her hand down a little, taking a moment to look at her lover's face, contorted in pleasure, completely spent. She was so beautiful, so unguarded, and she wanted to cry. She wanted to cry for losing it, for all these times she will remember what they shared, hoping things would have been different.  
Not wanting to let her emotions get in the way, she kissed all the skin she could taste, bringing another hand down to rub small circles on Carol's clit. The effect was immediate and the woman tensed, not expecting the contact. She was about to protest but Therese did not let her, ravaging her mouth once more, while she started to pump inside her again. Once, twice and that was all it took to send Carol over the edge again.  
The blonde tried to get a hold on her, needing to feel her skin, but she did not allow it. To scared she would crumble at the simple gesture, that she would never be able to let go.  
Moving away from the confused blonde, she took her wrist once more before shushing her with a hard kiss ''Don't''  
''Therese...''  
''Don't ! I said''  
Her eyes were demanding, hard, pleading. She wanted to take, she wanted to claim Carol. But she did not want the woman to brand her even more than she already was...  
Kneeling on the floor, she hooked her fingers in the waistband of her pants, slidding it along long smooth legs, before parting them apart and immediately starting to devour her. Her taste, she would never get enough, of that she was sure.  
Not expecting this new development, Carol cried again, lost, already panting hard, on the verge of a third orgasm. She was not sure she could take it, but fuck, that tongue was driving her mad...  
The brunette could tell her own wetness had already soaked her panties and pants, she was on the verge of exploding just pleasing the blonde. She started to insert her tongue in her opening, marvelling at the source of her essence, it was so her, so pure, so raw.  
Shaky hands came over her head as the woman convulsed, folding herself in two at the force of her high.  
She saw stars behind her eyelids, as waves after waves of pleasure engulfed her body, still Therese did not relent and kept going, inserting two fingers now into her. It was an overdrive of sensations. Carol wanted to tell her to stop, to let go, but her body was completely disconnected from her mind, pleasure replacing any other sensation, any other thoughts. She was taken off guard when another orgasm hit her once more, her lower belly contracting for dear life, sending her into oblivion.

Completely passed out, she did not register the brunette lifting her legs onto the sofa, or a blanket being carrefuly laid over her trembling body. Therese sat next to her for a while, making sure she was okay, kissin her forehead. She then made her move towards her own bedroom, shutting the light off behind her. 

''Don't !''  
She jumped at the sound, not expecting the blonde to be awake. Turning slowly she saw her sitting up in the darkness, naked, her eyes shining with a new intensity.

''Don't you fucking dare Therese fuck me like that and then leave me !!!'' She was mad, she was beyond mad. What the hell had just happened ? What was Therese trying to prove ?

Frozen by the truth behing her words, the brunette look down, ashamed.  
''I'm sorry... I don't know''  
''I don't know what came over me...''

Her slumped shoulders and vulnerable stance was in complete contrast to the woman who just fucked her senseless. Something was wrong...

''Therese''

''Good night Carol'', the brunette turned around again, not wanting to discuss the matter further .

''Therese !!''

''I think you should go...'' She said over her shoulders, too ashamed to say anything else.

That's when something flipped inside Carol. Like a string that would have been pulled too hard.

''Don't you fucking tell me to leave Therese. I swear...''  
Not getting any reaction, she moved forward briskly, seeing the woman retreat to the darkness of her room.

''So is that is ? Tell me ? Tell me Therese ? How does it feel to fuck me, to use me, and then leave me like I'm worthless, like I'm not even worth a hug or a goodbye...  
Does that make you feel powerful ? Like a revenge maybe ?  
I'm tired of this. I can't take this. It's tearing me appart....''  
She was fumbling with her words now, the weight of the last events too heavy for her foggy brain.

The brunette could not help but turn around at the outburst. Of course not, of course it was not what had motivated her actions. Could she not see how much she was struggling to come to term with all of this ? She could see the hurt in these beautiful blue eyes, and that was like a punch to her guts.

Finally, Carol collected her discarded clothes and put them on briskly, not wanting to be in that place any longer.

Panicking, Therese jumped in action to hold her arm.  
''Stay !''.

Looking at her with annoyance in her eyes, the blonde was at loss. She chuckled dryly.  
''Jesus Therese, do you even know what it is that you want ?''

She grabbed the door handle but stopped in her track when Therese's cries disturbed the quiteness of the night.

''I'm so sorry Carol, I've never wanted you to feel that way. Ever. I just...''

''Just what ?''

''I...''

The brunette was hyperventilating now and the blonde was affraid she was close to pass out.

''Tell me, what is happening here ?'' She said with concern in her voice. Something was so wrong with Therese tonight. It had been since they met earlier, she just did not understand what was happening in her mind.

''I... Please don't''

Raising an eyebrow, the blonde waited expectantly. Not understanding.

''Don't what ?''

''Don't go. Don't leave me okay !! Don't you fucking leave me....''  
The young woman was out of her mind, close to collapse under the weight of the loss she knew was coming. She was openly crying, sobbing like a little girl. It felt like being abandonned again, the feeling ripping her chest appart, she had never thought she would revive such an intense pain, but here she was. Not bearing the thought of Carol leaving her.

The blonde looked at her with gravity, placing a tentative hand on her soaked cheek. Her sweet Therese... She could not stand seeing so much pain in her eyes and took her in her arms, holding onto the petite woman strongly as her body was wracked by heavy sobs, hands gripping at her sweater tightly.

''Shhhhh'' She tried to comfort her, kissing the top of her head while rubbing her back soothingly ?  
''I'm here, I'm here''

More tears came wetting her neck and she felt her heart breaking at the sight. Her strong lover, reduced to this crying mess because of... Because of what ? Of their inability to communicate ?  
She knew there was something behind, she was just not sure what. She would let the woman tell her. But she would not leave her side, not tonight. Even if it was for the last time...  
Feeling emotional as well at the thought, she directed Therese towards the couch, holding her onto her lap as she cried.

The two women stayed in silence for a while, listening to the other's heartbeat.

''I'm sorry...'' Wipping her cheeks with the back of her hands, Therese was looking into blue eyes, trying to express what she was feeling.

''Carol...I...''

''Tell me, please'' The blonde was trying to be patient, kissing her cheeks tenderly.

''It's just too much you know... I can't stand the idea of never seeing you again...Carol what I feel for you, it's not going to disapear over a transatlantic flight...I know you don't feel that way and I don't want to overwhelm you with this. But hearing what you said before... That I made you feel worthless. It's... It's the last thing I ever want to make you feel Carol. I can't stand this...''

''Oh Therese, my darling''. Taking into a shuddering breath at the declaration, the blonde kissed her lips slowly, reverently

''Don't you know I don't want you to leave?''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember struggling that much with a chapter!!  
> I had 25 options in my head... It was really difficult.
> 
> Cheers,
> 
> (And I guess my hands write ''herslef'' without my brain realizing it.... ;-))


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

''Don't you know I don't want you to leave?''

Carol felt warm tears running down her cheeks. Seing Therese so vulnerable was new, and it was something her heart could not bear. She wondered what had happened to her, she wanted to know all her darkest secrets, she wanted to be there and hold her, like she had done for her that day.

''Therese, please look at me'' She pushed the brunette's chin upward softly, trying to convey some sort of reassurance with her eyes.

The younger woman took in a shuddering breath, trying to get a hold on her emotions. Carol did not want her to leave, then what ? She did not want her to leave as a friend ? As a lover ? As a fuck buddy ? It was still very confusing and she did not want to get her hopes up. Still the blonde was looking at her with a calmness that washed over her, like she had it all figured it out, like she knew something Therese did not. That it would be okay.

Adverting her gaze, Carol took one of her hand, caressing the soft skin gently with her thumb. She needed to get it it all out of her chest, she wanted the brunette to understand, but it was so difficult for her to convey the force of her emotions into words. A sad look adorned her face at the realization Therese was scared, was feeling vulnerable. And all because of her.  
Collecting her thoughts, she started to speak, observing the woman's reaction as she did  
.  
''Therese, there is something I've wanted to tell you for a while now...  
It's why I came tonight...''  
She looked into the green eyes, but ended up empty, she was facing a pefect poker face. Voice wavering she kept going, she needed to. Fot them both.  
''If only you would have let me speak earlier, but I realize that you don't trust me Therese, don't you ?''  
There was no answer to her question, and she could see the young woman retreating more and more within herself. Like a closed door being locked. Wincing, she tried once again.

''I talked to Rindy you know... She told me...''

The brunette raised her head in both surprise and interest. She was looking at Carol now, taking a step backwards. If they wanted to talk, they needed to keep their heads cold, and it felt impossible when the blonde was so close to her, touching her... She realized her body was still craving that release she denied herself just one hour ago. But she needed to keep control of the situation. She felt exposed, vulnerable, and she knew she was not thinking clearly. She needed to protect herself from that woman, even if all she wanted was to bury her head in her neck, and cry her eyes out.

''Rindy told me about the little promise you made...'' Carol said tentatively, searching for her eyes.

''Oh..'' Was all Therese could answer. Waiting for what would come next.

''Therese.  
Did you...Did you mean it ?''  
The hope in the woman's voice made her heart skip a bit. She was looking at her intently, she was so beautiful. Her blue eyes so vibrant, so alive... She just wanted to drawn in them. But she buried that idea, swallowing hard to not let her excitement show. 

The silence that followed was heavy, and Therese adverted a gaze for a moment, not sure how to respond. She had just laid bare open for the blonde moments ago, she did not want to repeat the performance. Was she not clear in what she just expressed ? She would not give her straight answera , she needed to hear hers firt. At least that what she told herself...  
But just seeing Carol fidgeting with her fingers while she pondered her next words was awakening her protective side. She did not want her to feel incertain, and especially not now. The brunette was annoyed at her own emotions. She wanted to be mad, but it was like her body and brain werenot able to feel anything but love for the blonde... And finally she surrendered.

''I did. I did mean it Carol.... Since we met again...''  
She stopped. Not finding the right words to express everything that happened without exposing herself too much. She started with a safe topic.

''Rindy is so smart, so beautiful as well... Like you'' She smiled sadly.

''I guess she realized... She knew somehow there was something brewing under the surface...And she was worried about you. So yes, yes I agreed that I would try to keep you happy''

And then it was all over. Her fears, her insecurities, her wish to keep a guarded facade. Her affection for the woman started to pour out of her in a rush, and she was not able to stop herself from speaking. Her heart taking the lead over her mind.

''Because seeing you happy became my oxygen, Carol, you became the reason I wake up in the morning...Your smile, your skin...It's all I can think about. Keeping you safe, just being with you, is giving me so much joy, so much peace, I think...''

She stopped, overwhelmed by the force of her feelings for the blonde. Tears in her eyes, Carol took her hands, trying to give her the strenght to continue. 

''I think I was born for loving you Carol, and god forgive me for this, but nothing had ever felt so right, so beautiful, than being with-''  
Her sentence was cut short by soft lips meeting hers as gentle hands craddled her face.

The blonde kissed her with all the tenderness in the world, feeling her heart hammer in her chest at hearing those words. How she had wanted to hear them, how she had needed to hear them. She felt whole, like she was given back something she had always been missing.  
Heart in her throat, she let a couple of tears slide down her cheeks and kissed Therese's forehead reverently, lingering for a second. 

''Therese, I love you so much, you have no idea...Since you came back into my life, you've made me...Whole again...  
But you need to trust me darling. That I will never leave you, ever. I will take care of you, like you've been taking care of me. I don't ever want to see that look on your face you hear me ? ''  
She looked into her eyes intently, cupping both cheeks in her hands.

The brunette was completely shocked by what had been said. She did not move an inch.  
Was it real ? Did Carol just profess her love to her ?  
Soft kisses being placed all over her face awoke her from her torpor and she reached out for the blonde, overwhelmed by a pure need to feel her close to her.  
The two women clang to each other for dear life, and the intensity of the moment took their breath away. Like there was no barriers between them anymore, like they could really express the force of their feelings without holding back.  
Carol was the first to break the embrace, taking Therese's hands in hers before kissing her wrists. She was addicted to her, there was no doubt about that. But despite what had been shared, a shadow passed over her eyes, like the weight of their situation hitting her again.

Sensing the change, the young woman frowned, squeezing her hands in encouragement.

''Tell me...''  
With a quivering lip, Carol tried to form words but ended up with a sad smile, not sure how to verbalize her thoughts.

''Therese... When I said I don't want you to leave.I mean it. I don't want you to leave...'' She said softly, looking into the green eyes with purpose. She started to feel uncomfortable, afraid of the answer.  
Placing the blonde's hands on her shoulders, Therese kissed her again. Tasting the salt on her lips, but also that sweetness that was so Carol. 

''I love you Carol, and I'll be wherever you want me to. And hey... I have a promise to keep remember'' she said with a wink, trying to add some lightness to the situation.

The reference to Rindy made the blonde smile tentatively, and she looked at Therese for confirmation. Amazed by the strenght she could feel in her lover's gaze. There was no doubt reflecting here, just pure love...  
The brunette held her closer, straddling her lap. She did not want a single centimeter between them.  
Still she knew Carol was right, their situation was far from easy, but surely they could work something out ?

First things first, She kissed the blonde reverently one more time before desantangling herself, walking towards the table with purpose. Carol looked at her with curiosity, seeing her grab her phone and press the call button.

''Sarah ?...I have something to ask you..... yeah aeverything is fine. More than fine actually'' She said, beaming at the woman in front of her.

The blonde frowned, but smiled back at her, not knowing where all of this was going.

''Well Sarah, you know I'm supposed to take the 10am flight back to Boston.... Yes.... Could you cancel it ? Like really cancel it. I will stay in Paris a bit more actually. Probably till next year...''

The conversation kept going for a few minutes, the brunette working out some ways to push some important business meetings to later. Satisfied with the results, she thanked warmly a stunned assistant that was more used to her bad moods, before closing the call.

''So it's official, I'm staying.'' She said shyly, her confidence leaving her a little at the blonde's silence. Closing the distance between them, she sat on the couch before taking her lover's hands and asking the question that had been at the tip of her tongue for a while.

''Carol Aird... Would you make me the happiest person alive and accept to spend Christmas with me ?'' She said it all in one breath, excited at the idea.

The blonde let a really unlady-like snort escape her throat, making both women giggle. 

''Sexy...'' Therese could not help herself, getting a playful punch in return.  
''So ? Was that weird sound a yes ?''  
''Oh Therese, yes, of course...'' She replied, smiling at her adoringly.

They sealed the promise with a kiss, the blonde groaning as the brunette nipped at her bottom lips, before sliding her warm tongue in her mouth. She did not resist and pushed her backwards, settling herself on top of her. They battled for dominance for a while, both trying to convey their emotions through the kiss.  
Soon Carol was lying fully on top of Therese, moaning loudly as an uncovered part of her stomach made contact with the heat that had gathered between the brunette's legs. It was overwhelming and the woman started to grind against her, desesperate for more friction.  
Soon, the smell of her arousal hit her, going straight to her own core. If her pants had been ruined before, now they must have been close to disintegrate with all the wetness she could feel pouring out of her...

Therese was panting hard, her body betraying her. She wanted to make slow love to Carol, she wanted to worship her body like the devoted lover she was. She wanted to hold her also, just feeling her weight on top of her. But she knew she could not ignore the inferno that took place in her lower belly, it was umbearable, she was already close. Too close...  
She shuddered as Carol kissed her neck, nipping her skin while grinding her hips, grabbing her ass to get more contact. The brunette yelped, and shut her eyes tightly. She was litterally on the verge of coming, she would combust any time now.  
Trying to push the blonde back a little, she searched for her gaze, trying to calm herself down, to temper things out. But the woman above her did not allow it.  
In one swift movement, she entered her with two fingers, kissing her hard, ravishing her mouth with her tongue.  
Therese cried out, and immediatly felt her body convulsed, as her climax hit her with ligtning speed.  
''That's it my love, come for me''  
Earing Carol's breath in her ear coupled with her hand working her magic, was enough to send her spiraling to another high, eyes wide open, looking at the blonde with abandon. She was not sure what just happened but it did.

The bonde started to kiss her eyes, her cheeks, holding her close as she was coming down. She was using her body as a barrier to protect her from anything, from anyone, at least this is how it felt to Therese. And she felt herself becoming emotional again.

Carol kissed her nose, and smiled as Therese opened her eyes, a satisfy grin on her lips.  
She unwraped herself from her body softly, before standing up and extending her hand.

''Let's go to bed my love...''

Heat beating widely, The brunette did not hesitate.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Therese was fighting between sleep and consciousness, when she felt a soft presence behind her. Like a warm blanket envelopping her. She opened her eyelids slowly, waking up with a start at the sun she could see shining by the window.  
What time was it ??? Her plane !!!

A warm arm tightened against her, and the events of the previous nights came rushing back to her.  
She immediately felt herself relax in the embrace, thanking whatever deity for the magnificent woman in her bed. Wanting to enjoy this moment, she carefully lifted the arm holding her. Turning around she could not stop herself from smiling at the sight of the blonde. She was looking so peaceful, so carefree, so young... She was taking her breath away, she would never be tired of looking at her.  
A sleepy Carol instinctively tried to bring their bodies closer, her leg ending between Therese's tights. She hissed at the sensation.  
Realising how sore she was, she blushed at the memory of their night, remembering each single detail as the blonde had claimed her body again and again...and again... She closed her eyes, trying to push these thoughts away, she knew she could not take more for now, she needed to keep her libido under control.  
For sure the blonde had made her point. The brunette was hers, and she was not sorry at all to be owned by this goddess. Quite the opposite actually.  
Pushing a strand of blonde air from her eyes, she was suddently met by the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she had ever seen. It made her heart jump a little, butterflies erupting in her lower belly. 

''Hi...'' Carol said sheepishely, feeling a bit self conscious under Therese's intense gaze.

''Good morning my love''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments after last chapter!!  
> I'm glad you like the story.
> 
> I have to say it should come to an end very soon tho...I had not planned to write much more, so probably 2-3 more chapters ? We'll see
> 
> Not sure yet if there will be a "Part 3"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

With the concert behind her and Therese's mission masterfully delivered, Carol could not help the exictement bubbling inside her. The brunette had agreed to stay till the 2nd of january, which meant they had another10 days just between the two of them before she would have to get back to New York.  
They still had a lot of things to discuss, but she knew it would be okay. She could feel it in her heart, what they shared was different.Their connection was at a deeper level than anything she had ever experienced. It was both scary and freeing. Like being seen and understood for the first time, Therese made her feel safe and alive. She was the ying to her yang.

They had come back to her appartement earlier that day, Therese checking out of her airbnb. They decided she would stay at the blonde's for the time being, and that thought alone was making her heart swell with happiness. She wanted to wake up in her lover's arms every morning, it was silly she knew, but it was really how she felt. Like a lovesick teenager, like someone experiencing true love for the very first time.   
Carol was looking at the sky, marveling at the light snowflakes that were slowly accumulating on the street. It made her think about Rindy... She missed her. Always. Her precious little one.

''Should we go ?''   
With mischief in her eyes, the younger woman joined her in the living room, wrapping her arms around her slim waist. She rested her chin on her shoulder, inhaling her scent with contentment. To her, Carol smelt like home, it did not matter where they were, the sole act of breathing her in was enough to ground her, to calm her overactive mind.

The blonde turned in the embrace, not resisting the urge to kiss the brunette. She kissed her bottom lip slowly, marvelling at the softness of her mouth. She wanted more and soon the simple act took a life on its own, both women clinging to each other in desperation.

''Carol !'' Therese was trying to appear annoyed but she failed miserably, caving in.  
''Carol, we said we would go shopping separately today...''

Whining, a pout appeared on the blonde's georgous face, she reluctantly took a step back taking her lover's hands.   
''I know but I don't want to be away from you...''.   
It was the simple truth and she hated herself for appearing so childish. 

Soon Therese was on her tip toes, kissing her nose tenderdly.  
''You are adorable, you know that ?''

Battling her eyelashes in a seductive way, Carol tried once more to get the petite woman in her arms, but with no success. She had other plans...

''Alright, then I'm going. I know exactly what I will get you for Christmas''. With a wink, she kissed the blonde one more time before grabbing her coat and purse.

Carol kept staring at her while she was getting ready, before hearing the entrance door closing. She smiled. She liked this side of Therese, so carefree, so impulsive also.  
She already knew exactly what she would get her for Christmas, no need for her to pave the freezing parisian streets. Actions speak louder than words they say...  
Knowing she had a couple of hours to herself, she started to think about a plan for them, for the next few days. She wanted it all to be perfect. Like a new beginning. She wanted it to be special. Unforgettable.

She took her beloved Ipad and felt a little pang in her heart at seeing the cheeky face of Rindy illuminating her screen. She decided to call her, surely she would be awake already ? She already talked to her the day before but she was her girl, Harge had no right...  
She did not hesitate and pressed the call button. Carol was on cloud 9, and she wanted to share her mood with Rindy.

''Carol, you talked to her not even 24hrs ago''  
His low manly voice made her wince, but nothing could erase her joy, this day would be perfect. And the days after as well. She was convinced of it.

''Harge, please, play nice. Just 1min''

''Well someone seems in a good mood? Is being away from your daughter causing it ?'' He snarled. 

''Don't you dare !!'' She bited back, her heart beating loudly in her chest. She could not stand the man anymore. And he knew exactly what to tell her to ruin her mood. She chastised herself for the power he still had over her...

''Harge, I want to talk to her''

''She is busy...''

''Harge !!!''

She heard voicesin the background. Rindy was there. She tried to shout through the phone.

''Rindy !!!!!''

''Mom ?'' She heard in the background. Game over she thought with a smirk.

''Mommy ?''

''My sweet girl, how are you ?'' She cooed in her best mom's voice.  
Even Rindy could hear the difference and she giggled over the receiver.

''I'm good, grandma made pancakes, then we are going skying again !!''

''That's fantastic my love, I just wanted to tell you something... The promise. It has been kept Rindy. I will have someone very special with me for Christmas...''   
She said so without naming Therese, not wanting Harge to get in the way in case he was listening to their conversation.

The squeal of delight that came from her daughter made her heart swell. She knew she was right to call.  
The conversation kept going for a couple of minutes before she hang up, a weight lifted from her chest.  
At this rate, she would be flying soon. It was like all the worries and sorrows she had been carrying around for the last decade had been erased in a couple of weeks.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Therese left the Cartier shop with a small white bag, She was walking around the freezing streets looking for one last thing.  
Happy with her shopping, she called her friend Danny on her way back, telling him he would have to keep her cat a bit longer... It felt like it was his anyway, she was sure he would not mind at all.  
But she missed her little fluffy companion, if she was honest she missed him more than she had missed Jen. Another thing she would have to take care off. But not now.   
She just wanted to enjoy a few days with Carol. She would worry about everything else later. Even if she knew a pissed Jen would be probably burning her stuff down when she would hear she would not come back today... She tried to not think about it.

Looking around her, Therese felt like a little girl discovering the magic of Christmas. Seeing all the families going shopping together, all the smily faces, couples holding hands... She was overwhelmed with emotions. She felt happy, like she was finally understanding what this was all about, to feel excitment at the prospect of some family time. Was Carol her family ? It was dangerous territory to go there, but she could not help it, she felt like she belonged to her in some mystic way.  
Thinking about the blonde, she felt a strong desire to be close to her. It was like a physical pain taking over her body and mind. The need to kiss her became too much. She needed to see her beautiful face, to kiss her, to hold her. How could she miss her so deeply after just a few hours appart ? The intensity of her feelings were scaring her.  
Following her heart, she booked a Uber, knowing she would most likely end up with a broken leg if she kept running on the icy sidewalk.

Twenty minutes later, she arrived in front of the posh building.  
Knocking softly with no answer, she opened the door to Carol's appartement quietly before discarding her coat, purse and shoes. She carefully hid the different gift bags in her Vuitton keepall, happy to see it was not looking suspicious at all.

Curious to still not hear anything, she made her way down the hall and stopped in the doorway leading to the living room.

Carol was there, half lying on the couch, screen in hand. The situation reminded her of the same feeling she had felt weeks before. At seeing the blonde so carefree, so natural, she had been overcome with a powerful desire to kiss her. Today was no different. Heart in her throat, she could not help but observe silently the woman before her.  
She obviously did not see her enter, her attention solely on her ipad, her beautiful eyes hidden by large dark frames. She was not wearing any make up today, her white jersey button down shirt opened up at the collar. Therese just thought she was good enough to eat and a rush of warm spread through her entire body. It shook her to the core, leaving her breahtless.

Therese was recollecting her life till now. She had dalliances with so many women and men, more than she could recall. They were all impeccable looking, flawless, like magazine models. And she had loved the sex with them, she had for sure enjoyed it. She liked being surrounded by beautiful women, she liked the attention, she liked the chase...  
But nothing had prepared her for the raw adulteral response her body was having in reaction to that marvellous woman. And yet she was, just sitting there, not a care in the world, oblivious to the flammes she was igniting in her lower belly.

Looking up suddently, Carol's eyebrows shot upright, surprise written on her face.

''I did not hear you enter...'' She smiled fondly, increadibly happy to have her lover back. But the seriousness in Therese's gaze took her of guard. Its intensity left her speechless.

She did not have time to analyse it, the brunette had moved towards her hurriedly taking her ipad from her hands.   
In one swift motion she was on the couch beside her, burrying her face in her stomach, inhaling deeply, kissing the skin there tenderly, lifting her shirt a few inches on her way.  
Shocked by the gesture, Carol tensed, before relaxing under the soft caress. She tangled her hands in the brunette's head, holding her there, close to her, enjoying the intimacy of the moment.

The brunette was breathing hard, probably the stairs Carol thought, and she could see an appealing flush coloring her cheeks. The outside cold ? For sure. But her skin was so warm against hers...

Therese exhaled loudly, trying to calm her ragging libido and her beating heart. She had already made love to Carol 4 times today, without even counting the night they shared. She could not remember feeling such an adulteral need before. Like it was never enough. 

''You okay there ? ''   
The blonde scratched her head slowly, feeling her shudder.

''Therese ?''

Crawling upward till she was on top of her, she kissed her softly. 

''I just missed you...'' she kissed her cheeks, her neck, inhaling her scent once more.

''Well... you did not have to go...'' The young woman's actions were for sure distracting and Carol was having some troubles thinking

''And you are just so beautiful, I just cannot control myself over you''  
Therese pecked her lips one more time as she said so, looking into the blue eyes she knew so well.

''What a sweet talker you are...'' Carol laughed softly, amused but also a bit moved by the declaration.

''You dont believe me?'' Therese was looking at her, seeing doubt reflected there.  
''Well you know where to find the proves I think?'' She raised her eyebrows defiantly.

''The proves about what ?'' Carol was not getting it.

The brunette kissed her jaw, before breathing in her ear.  
''The prove about how much I desire you, always''.

The blonde closed her eyes, feeling Therese's hot breath on her skin. The woman kissed her hungrily, leaving her breathless.   
Not ready to give up control yet, she took Therese's wrists carefully in her grip, kissing the skin tenderly.  
The brunette was not expecting the movement and she straightened up, still straddling her lap. She was now a nice shade of pink, her breathing labored, her body shuddering. She was so beautiful.  
With mischief, Carol let go of her hands and pushed her open palm between her lover's legs, hearing the air leaving her chest. She was so ready for her, it was driving her wild. She had doubted so much of herself these past years, never feeling good enough, beautiful enough, desirable enough...But with Therese, she was discovering new parts of herself that had been burried for too long.

Sitting up, she held the brunette close, kissing her as she was rubbing her slit up and down through the cotton material.  
The woman growled, grinding against the blonde's palm.

''Tell me what you want love'' Carol breathed in her ear, kissing the skin of her neck, nipping at the tender flesh.  
Therese was putty in her hands, unable to form a coherent sentence. In one swift movement the blonde flipped her on her back, and was now pinning her down, kissing any piece of skin that was exposed.

She stopped, taking a moment to look at her. The brunette had her eyes shut tightly, her mouth slightly open as ragging breaths were escaping her lovely mouth. The vision was enough to make Carol's core contract with need. This woman was hers, and she would do anything to show her how much she meant to her.

''Darling look at me'' She said softly.  
Nothing.  
''Therese''  
Groaning in frustration at the fact the blonde was nowhere where she needed her to be, the brunette reluctantly opened her eyes, looking into loving blue ones.

''Do you know how much I love you ?''

''Oh Carol, I love you too, so much''

The blonde smiled and kissed her, licking at her lips sensuously. She moved towards her neck again, sucking soflty at her pulse point, taking some time to nip at her collarbone. She loved the taste of her skin, she was always craving for more.  
She took her time, lifting Therese's cachemire sweater while caressing her bare skin, marveling at the soft sounds of pleasure leaving her lover.   
She squeezed her breasts softly, before slipping her fingers under the silky material to tease a hard nipple. The action made the young woman arch her back in pleasure, and Carol took the opportunity to unclasp her bra and remove her sweater completely in one swift motion.

''You are so beautiful...'' She could not help herself. The brunette was magnificent in all her glory. Exposed, offered to her without hesitation.

She burried her face in her chest, kissing the skin there, taking a hard peak in her mouth, biting at it lightly. Her hands keep caressing all that delicious skin, before she lifted herself enough to remove Therese's yoga pants, caressing her legs as she did.  
She immediately crawled back up her lover's body, kissing her soundly as one of her hand found its way back between her legs, cupping her softly, swallowing the moans escaping Therese's throat.

Seeing the brunette so lost in her sensations, panting hard, moaning, clinging into her in desperation was fueling Carol's libido and she could not wait anymore, she wanted to taste her, to have her in her mouth.  
Her blonde hair tickled the soft skin of the woman beneath her as she licked her way down her glorious body, famished.  
At eye level with Therese's core, she could not help the groan of appreciation at seeing the large damp patch on her lover's panties. It was so erotic, knowing it was all for her, and for her only.  
Not waiting one more second, she lapped at the fabric, her nose poking the little bundle of nerve she could feel underenath.  
A cry of pleasure left Therese, and she tangled her hands in soft blonde hair, holding her there for dear life.  
Carol decided she needed more, she wanted the young woman fully. She pushed the garment on the side with her index finger, just in time see a little pearl of liquid leaving the brunette's opening. She collected it with the tip of her tongue, the taste making her desperate for more.

Hooking her fingers in the waistband of her panties, she discarded them hastily before getting back at the task at hand. Devouring the brunette.

She could tell she was already close, her breathing desperate, her body alive, shuddering at every caress, hips jerking whenever her mouth would make contact with her burning core.  
The blonde pinned her on the sofa and took her soft tights in her hands, ravishing her with her tongue.   
It did not take long. When Therese felt the soft muscle enter her, it was over. She felt her inside contract widly around Carol's tongue, a gush of wetness leaving her as the force of her climax hit her.  
The blonde took her time, lapping at anything she had to give with contentment, before moving backwards and kissing her lips softly. The brunette was still shaking a litlle, her body slowly recovering from her high.

Therese knew there would never be any other lover after Carol. How could it be...  
With Carol se realized one simple look was enough to set her body on fire. One touch and she was shuderring like a wet leaf. One taste and she was coming undone...

After one minute, she opened her eyes, a soft smile on her face.

''I think you turned me into a premature...''

''What ?'' Rasing her head on her elbow, Carol was looking at her, amused, one hand caressing her stomach softly.

''I mean everytime... Every fuckin time''

''Every fuckin time what darling ?''

Therese smile at the term of endearment, feeling Carol kiss her lips once more, tasting herself there.

''Well you know... You make me come in what ? 2 mins ?''

Chuckling, the blonde took her in her arms, wanting to have her close to her.

''And who cares ? I fucking love it....''

Blushing slightly, Therese burried her face in her lover's neck.

''I can't resist you...''

''Me neither...''

''Is that so ?''  
Raising one eyebrow, Carol took her hand and drove her down her own pants. The heat started to build between them immediately.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was a good hour later and they were still on the couch, both naked, enjoying the aftermath of another passionnate love making session. Life was good...

''So... I have a surprise for you''  
Raising her head in interest, Therese looked at her, both amused and suspicious.

''I want us to go away for the holiday, I don't want us to spend Christmas here in Paris...''

''Okay, what's your plan''

Feeling a bit shy out of sudden, Carol bited her lip before dropping the news.

''I've rented a chalet, in the Alpes. For a week actually... I've rented a car as well, would be nicer to drive over there I thought... It's at the Swiss border'' She looked at Therese tentatively, waiting for her reaction.   
And she was not disapointed as a massive grin broke over her pretty face, like a child on a Christmas morning. It was exactly what she had hoped for and she breathed a sigh of relief.

''So it has a nice jacuzzi and a fire place... We will need to leave tommorow morning to be there in the afternoon. I've already took care of the groceries and the logistics...''

''Oh Carol, I have no words. Just the two of us was already more than enough. But now... this is so romantic. I don't think someone has ever done something like that for me. I mean outside work...''

The blonde stopped her little speach with a kiss. She could not wait for their little trip.

''So I think we better get ready and go to bed ? It's a 6 hours drive... I propose we leave around 9 ?''

''Perfect'' The brunette kissed her with all the love she possessed, feling cared for in a way that was overwhelming her. She was close to feeling emotionnal but she did not want to scare her lover off. She pushed it down, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been quite long since I've last updated, sorry about that.  
> Work has been crazy !  
> So I think 2 more chapters and we'll be done ;-)
> 
> Thanks for reading !


	21. Chapter 22

Chapter 21

''So ? Ready ? ''

''I think so...''

Carol had picked up the rental car around 8.30am and was now placing the last bag in the truck. 

Therese took place on the passenger seat of the nice Mercedes Classe C, excited at the prospect of spending a few days alone with the blonde. She kissed her cheek softly before the car disapeared in the parisian streets, direction: Les Alpes

The first hour was spend in comfortable silence, both women lost in thoughts. The brunette had put on a special playlist with songs from the 50s, and she was trying to imagine how it would have felt like, to plan the same trip back then...  
She was staring out the window dreamily when a soft hand squeezed her knee gently.

''You' alright there?''  
Carol glanced at her quickly, concentrated on the road ahead. She was wearing a large pair of sunglasses, and Therese felt like she was fitting perfectly in her little 50s fantasy.  
She entwined their fingers, marvelling at how well they fitted together 

''Well ? Cat got your tongue ?'' the blonde said playfully

''Sorry, I'm just... thinking''

''About ?''

''You, always''

A soft smile graced the driver's lips, and she took Therese's hand to her lips, kissing it softly.

''Tell me something about you ?'' She asked, curiosity tainting her voice.

''What do you want to know ?''

''I don't care, tell me something I don't know. I want to know everything about you...''

The brunette blushed a little, turning her head towards the window once more.  
She was very vocal about a lot of things, but speaking about herslef was not something she enjoyed very much. Actually that was a good start...

''Well, I don't like speaking about myself'' She said, smiling at Carol to show her she was not turning her down.

''Oh really, and why is that ?''

''Well who cares ? I don't think I have anything interesting to say about myself ''

''Well my dear, I beg to differ, you are certainly the most intersting human being I've ever met...''

Therese chuckled softly, amused at the intensity behind the blonde's words. She did not say more.

''So is that all I'm getting ?'' The blonde looked at her abover her glasses, a bit disapointed.

''Well ask away...''

''Okay.... What about we play the 10 questions game ?''

''C'mon Carol, how old are you again ?''

The blonde punched her playfully ''Be nice !''

''I'm always nice'', Therese was battling her eyelashes at her, trying to be seductive. She placed her hand on Carol's tight, sliding it upward slowly... 

''Don't !!! i'm driving''  
The car made a little lurch as she tried to swat her hand away.

''Favorite color ?''

''Seriously ?''

''I said... favorite color'' 

Huffing, Therese crossed her arms, pondering her answer.  
''Green''

''Like your eyes....Favorite food ?''

''just a home cooked meal...''

''favorite place ?''

''I don't think I have one...''

''Happiest Christmas memory ?''

''Yet to happen...''

Listening to Therese's vague answers, Carol frowned. this was supposed to be playful but she was detecting a sort of saddness behing her lover's words. Or a detatchment of some sort. Then it hit her...

''You don't have to answer if you don't want to... I'm just wondering... How were the Christmases like back then ? In the system I mean...''

Surprised by the question, the brunette felt suddently nervous. She was secretly thrilled that Carol had remember that part of her life. She only talked about it once, that night, twelve years ago...Still she did not feel like elaborating. She had worked hard to make a life for herself, to get away from her past, she did not want to be reduced to this orphan little girl. Would Carol pity her ?

Seeing the battle taking place in Therese's mind, the blonde chastisied herself. So much for relaxing the atmosphere she thought.  
''Don't answer that, I'm sorr-''  
''No !''  
Therese winced at the force of her answer. Smooth Believet !  
''I'm sorry, I... I'm not sure how to answer that question. I mean it was alright I guess ?''

''Therese, you can tell me things you know. I'm here for you, all of you'' Carol caressed her cheek softly, trying to meet her eyes.

''I...don't like to talk about that period''

''That's okay...''

Seeing the blonde changing the radio station, the brunette breathed in relief. She was safe for now, but she knew she would have to talk about her past to Carol. She had to, it made her who she was right now, but she was too afraid to appear vulnerable. She remembered her meltdown not so long ago at imagining the blonde leaving her. It had definitely triggered something. Therese was damaged. Behind all these layers of self confidence, there was a scared little girl that needed to be loved, to be reassured. But she did not allow her to surface.

The two ladies soon stopped for lunch, the brunette amused when Carol took the queue to the McDrive. She could not envision that elegant woman eating a fatty industrial burger with her bare hands, but here she was devouring her sandwich in 4 bites, expertly pinching the side of the bun to make sure the sauce would remain inside.

''Wha ?'' With her mouth full, the blonde felt suddently self conscious under her lover's scrutiny ?

''Nothing...''

Carol licked her fingers clean, before sipping on her drink loudly. A burp escaped her throat and the brunette looked at her, surprised.  
''Seriously ?''

The blonde stopped dead in her track, facing Therese, before both women erupted in laugher, tears in their eyes.  
After a short bio break and some heavy second base kissing and touching, they were ready to hit the road again.

The arrived just after 4pm, Carol discussing with the person she supposed was the owner of the place for a few minutes. The blonde made her sign to stay in the car, winking at her above her sunglasses.

The brunette could not help the warmth that spread throught her body at that simple gesture. Did Carol know how hot she was ? Probably not...

She soon opened the driver's door and hopped in the car, tiping a new adress in the navigation system. They drove slowly for a good twenty minutes, the snow sticking to the road.  
They finally made it upon a little hill, where a single chalet could be seen in the distance.  
Parking the car, Carol looked at Therese shyly.

''Here we are... I'm afraid we will have to walk the remaining part of the road. We will have to make several trips I guess to get all the bags ins-''  
She was cut off abruptly by soft lipts kissing her with fondness.

''This is perfect'', the brunette replied, looking into her eyes lovingly before kissing her lips once more.

The blonde unfastened her seatbelt and opened the door, taking a few bags with her. Therese did the same and they started their walk towards the chalet. It was around half a mile, in straight line. Carol had wanted privacy ? Well she was not disapointed...  
They finally ended up in front of the wooden place, marvelling at the view they could see in the background. With a smile, Carol took Therese's hand in hers and rested the key in her open palm.

''Open it...''

Excitment written on her beautiful face, the brunette did not need to be told twice.  
She immediately put the key in the lock, feeling it turn easily. She then pushed the door open, amazed at what she could see in front of her.  
''Go on...''  
A soft hand placed on the small of her back directed her forwards and Therese spent some time looking at her surroundings.

The place was huge. It was decorated in a very nice way, soft fabrics mixing up with natural wood and stones walls. It looked like a place that would feature in a magazine. Actually she was sure it did...  
Walking around the entrance hall, she soon entered what must have been the living room, a massive catheral ceiling with big windows giving it an impressive view of the mountains arround. An ancient fireplace was taking a big part of the room, and Therese blushed, picturing what she could do to Carol in front of a lit fire, lying on this soft looking rug...Oh yeah...

''I'll get the rest of our stuff''

She did not have time to reply, the blonde was already outside, walking back towards the car.

The brunette took this as her clue to explore the place in details.  
She first spotted the open kitchen, with its black marble counter top, it was so luxuous... A wide staircase was leading towards the first level. She found 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, then a room that could look like an office ?  
She spotted another staircase at the back of the hall and climbed it hastily, curious.

She had been to enough 5 stars hotel to be feel bored by most of the places she was staying at, but nothing had prepared her for the sight in front of her.  
A massive bedroom was taking the entire floor, a king size bed in the middle facing a private terasse showing the mountains. She raised her head and was shocked by the massive roof window. Perfect for star gazing...  
Therese walked around the open area slowly, touching the furnitures, enjoying the view. She opened the door leading to the terrasse and was surprised to find a big jacuzzi facing the Alps, a bottle of champaign and two flutes neatly placed on a nearby table.  
A white enveloppe was lying on the bottle of Veuve Cliquot, begging for her attention. 

''Therese'' it says.  
Her heart jumped a little, recognizing the writing immediately.  
She could not stop her fingers from taking the enveloppe, opening it carefully. A little note appeared, It made her want to cry... How much she loved that woman...

''To my love, To you Therese

I love you, I always will,

Join me downstairs ?''

Clutching the card close to her heart, the brunette made her way back to the living room, finding Carol busy with the groceries she had purchased for their Christmas Eve.

She smiled at seeing her enter the kitchen.  
''I see you found the little note ?''  
She said that nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal. As if that kind of gesture was a normal occurrence. Therese wondered if she knew how much it meant to her, all of this, all these thoughtful attentions the blonde seem to always have in store for her.

Clearing her throat, she tried to express her gratitude.  
''Thanks... Carol, This is too much''

''Non sense... And it's for the both a us. A little reward for our had work'' she winked.

''It means a lot. It means a lot to me''. She said it. She let it out. Therese felt emotional again, but she did not want Carol to see it. She busied herself with their bags instead, helping her around.

''Therese...''

The blonde could see two tears running down her lover's cheek and she was horrified. She stopped her from leaving the room and kissed her wet cheeks softly. She carefully removed the bags from her hands and shoulders, placing them on the floor.  
The brunette did not hesitate and reached out for her, happy to feel the security of Carol's arms around her. The two women stayed holding each other for long minutes, just enjoying their closeness.

''Are you okay my love ?'' Carol breathed in her hair.

Nodding, Therese buried her face in the blonde's neck, breathing her in. She knew she should talk. She did not want Carol to misinterprete her reaction.  
''Thank you Carol, for everything, Thank you'' 

Kissing her hair, the blonde disantangled herself a little, looking into shiny green eyes.

''What about I make us dinner and you go relax upstairs?''

''Non sense !! You drove 6 hours...You go relax and I'll cook...''

''Absolutely not...''

A staring contest followed and the blonde caved in first, sighing.

''Alright, how about we open a bottle of wine and start preparing dinner...Together ?''

''Much much better''

Therese grabbed her by the collar of her hoodie, kissing her hard. She loved her, she loved her with everything that she had, and she would not allow herself to be scared. For once she would just allow herself to be happy, to be loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quickie... ;-)
> 
> 100 comments!!!!! That's so cool,  
> Thank you so much


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels like the end my friends...

Chapter 22

''What are you looking for ? It's okay if it we don't have it''  
Therese looked expectantly at a distressed Carol and smirked. 

Her blonde hair was all messy, tendrils flowing all around her pretty face. Her lips were bruised, a deep shade of red, and she looked ...thoroughly fucked. The kitchen counter would for sure remember them long after their exit.

After couple of minutes spent head deep in the fridge, Carol made a happy sight and rose a hand holding a small jar in victory.  
''Got it !!!''  
The cold gave her nose a reddish color and she refrained her impulse of wiping it on her sleeve.  
Not sexy! She thought.  
Happy with everything she had now carefully placed on the kitchen counter...Oh god that counter, she would never look at it the same way... She could still feel it, its coldness on her skin, Therese's head deep between her l-.

''So ?''  
The brunette was looking at her intently, seemingly amused by her flushed state.  
The blonde cleared her throat before pointing each item with precision.

''I though we would not want to cook for hours... So then for tonight I thought we could have a nice French Christmas Eve ? So I've got some amuses-bouches, nice Oysters, I remember you liking them. Also some foie gras, some very fancy cheese, and macaroons. What is left to do is a duck breast with a nice red wine sauce and a nice truffle puree. Is that alright ?''  
She said it all on one breath, thinking about each item as she explained.

Therese moved forward once she was done, toe touching, and kissed her lips slowly.  
''Perfect''  
They smiled at each other for some time, looking in each other eyes dreamily, unaware of the minutes passing.  
Carol was the first to leave their little bubble, taking one of Therese's hands in hers to lead her towards the other side of the counter.

''Here, could you peal potatoes for me ? I'll take care of the sauce''

They spent the next hour navigating around the kitchen effortlessly, sipping on a nice bottle of wine.

''So what do you want to do this evening? It's still early...'' The blonde looked at the wall clock. It was just after 6.30pm.

''Well are you hungry ?''

''I'm okay, I could eat something I guess''

''What about...We take the amuses-bouches and oysters and make it to the jacuzzi ?''  
Carol smiled, pleased at the idea. There was just a little problem.

''You, me in a Jacuzzi ? It's not food we'll end up eating'' she challenged, trying to appear serious.

''You're a dork you know that, but I love you anyway'' Therese chuckled.  
''You've got a better idea then ?''

''Maybe...'' The blonde squinted her eyes, deep in thoughts.

''We could lit a fire and eat in front of it ?''

Therese liked the idea very much, even if she could not help herself. Having Carol on a nice and soft carpet in front of a wood fire... She was not sure it was any better. Just thinking about it, she could feel a pulsing sensation starting between her legs. She was no better than a horny teenage boy she thought.

''So ? Lots of things in that head of yours Miss Believet ?''

''Yes ! Yes, let's lit a fire''

Delighted by the excitment crossing her lover's face, the blonde made her way towards the living area, glass of wine in hand.

''Do you know how to lit up a fire ?''

Giving her a weird smile, Therese shook her head from side to side.

''Ok, let me show you...''

Carol busied herslef building the fire, explaining each step to a concentrated brunette.

''Should we ?'' She said, giving her lover the match box.

One little match later and the fire came alive, its massive flammes reverberating on the big windows. It was absolutely marvellous, magical even, and Therese felt like she was a little girl again, but happy this time...

The blonde stared openly at her, looking at her illuminated face with wonder. She could see a smile dancing on Therese's lips and she felt her heart soar at the thought she was the reason for it.

''I'll go get the food...''  
Mesmerized by the flammes, the brunette did not hear her at first. She jumped to action when she realized the blonde was escaping towards the kitchen once again.

''Oh Carol, did you do all of that ?''  
She was not expecting the little home made delights that were awaiting them. Several plates were unwrapped in front of her eyes, and she was falling in love with Carol all over again. No one had ever done so much for her... Everything that the blonde did was coming right from her heart. It was warming her like nothing ever did before, she would never tire of this feeling.

Smiling shyly, the woman looked at the plates she had prepared with love.  
''I went a bit over the top with this didnt I ?''

''It's perfect''

Carol rose an eyebrow amused.  
''Is the word « perfect » your way to tell me you don't like it ? Cause I need to know, you say it too often for it to be true...''

''Of course not ! What else do you want me to say ? You are making it all pefect, thinking about these little details, going the extra mile... for me''

''Always'' she smiled.

''Well I have no other words... This is perfect. You are perfect''. Therese punctuated her sentence with a lingering kiss. Once again, she could feel herself being emotional. What was wrong with her ? She was not a crier in anyway, quite the opposite. But everytime Carol was doing these nice little things for her, she felt like weeping...

They made their way back in front of the flammes, extending their legs to the maximum to bath in the warmth coming from the fire place.  
They started to eat with gusto, sharing jokes and just enjoying each other presence. 

''Come here love''

Carol moved the plates aside and made a gesture towards Therese. The yound woman happily obliged, setting herself between the blonde's legs, melting against her.  
Looking at the fire again, she could not remember feeling so content in her life. It was like every single second led her to that instant, to that perfect moment, where she was finaly finding her purpose, her place in this world.

''Penny for your thoughts ? '', the blonde kissed the side of her head softly, holding her lover a bit tighter.

''Why ?''

''Well I don't know, you are spacing out a lot these days... Everything alright ?'' She said so as she rested her chin on a warm shoulder, taking the opportunity to nuzzle Therese's neck.

''I'm more than alright, I'm...''

''Yes ?'' 

At loss for words, the brunette turned around slowly in the blonde's arms, taking her face in her hands.

''I love you Carol, and that is making me so happy... I cannot recall being so happy before. I'm just...''

''Tell me'' The blonde could see a storm coming in the horizon, she was not sure what was happening behind these big green eyes.

Therese tensed a little before releasing a shaky breath. She adverted her gaze one moment to collect her thoughts but a gentle hand did not allow it for long.

''Tell me Therese, why do I feel like there is a but...''

Biting her lip, the brunette smiled sadly. She was chatising herself for ruining their moments, their evening. But her heart felt like it would just combust, overloaded with too many conflicting emotions.

''I'm just worried Carol. What if this is just a « phase »'' She accentuated the last word making a face, like disgusted with the thought.

A low chuckle filled her heart with warmth, how she loved that sound. 

''Darling, you are not a « phase » for me''. Then she got serious ''Am I one to you ?''

''Of course not !! '' Here she was again, giving Carol the wrong idea.

''Then what's the problem ? You said it yourself, you like the place, you like the food...I love you, you love me ?'' the blonde was trying to lighten the mood, but she could feel the seriousness in the young woman words.

''Therese, you can tell me anything'', she said holding her face tenderly, caressing her cheeks with her thumbs.

There was a pause then she said it.

''I could not stand it...'' she breathed, barely above a whisper.  
''If you leave me, if you abandon me...''

A warm tear escaped her shiny eyes, and Carol felt helpless, watching her lover struggle before her eyes.

''Oh Therese darling...don't think like that''

The brunette sniffled, head down, trying to express her feelings.

''I don't mean it like that, I mean not in a possessive lover kind of way. It's not that. I mean couples get together, break up. I've done it myself, so many times. I've never thought about it like that...''

''Then what is different ?''

''You''  
''You are different Carol. What I feel for you, what you make me feel... It's something I've never had, I've never felt. Not even with my own family, if I can even call them that way. And I don't think I could live one minute without feeling your love surrounding me....''

''Oh darling'', The blonde was moved. She took Therese in her arms, holding her tight as soft tears wetted her neck. She could feel her own eyes watering. She had not expecting the brunette to share such a vulnerable side. But she was holding onto it like a lifeline. She could not think about not being here for her. Her fiery lover, all business, a real lionness, but also the most tender lover she had ever had.  
She was trying to find something to say, but she had no idea how to answer the silent plea. Then something crossed her mind...

''Well, well, should we then start with the presents to get you smiling again ?''

She could feel the distinct curl of warm lips against her skin as she said so.

''I'm sorry, I'm a mess. I don't know what's coming over me. I'm never like this...''

''Don't appologize. Therese we both come with a past. We cannot pretend like it did not happen, I just want us to be here for each other. Okay ?''

The young woman nodded, feeling lighter.  
''Presents you said ?''

Winking, both women stood up at the same time, rushing towards their respecting bags. Therese took one last moment to grab Carol's wrist and drive her back towards her. She grabbed her neck and kissed her passionnately, leaving her breathless.

The blonde stayed still one moment, shocked by the intensity of the kiss. Presents, that's it...

They both came back minutes later, a hand behind her back for Therese, a little package sitting in front of her feet for Carol.

''Who goes first ?''

''Well, together ?''

''No I think we should do it one after the other...''  
Not questionning it, Therese agreed.

''Ok, you first''.  
She moved her arm in front of her, using a hand to look for something inside the bag she had carefuly hidden.  
She removed a red box and handed it over to Carol in her open palm.

''This is a classic, it always reminded me of you..'' she said softly.

Amazed, the blonde eyed the box with curiosity, trying to guess its content. She could tell it was not a ring, and she did not knew wether to feel relieved or disapointed by it.

''Open it !'' The brunette pressed, amused at the look on her lover face.

Carol left the box in Therese's hand, using one of hers to hold it while the other was working on the lead. It took her breath away one moment. Inside was a magnificent gold bracelet with what she guessed where little rubies ?  
She took it between two fingers and immediately spotted the engraved line «To my one true love ».

''Oh Therese this is too much...''

''No! I want you to have it. I want to give you everything...''

Carol was touched by the gesture. She kissed her lover slowly before asking her to put the bracelet on her wrist. It definitely looked spectacular.  
Still she could not help herself but be reminded of Harge. How he had always offered her nice things, like a way to own her. She had hated it tremendously. Of course with Therese it felt different, but still, did the young woman feel like she had to do that kind of expensive gesture to please her. She could just hope that it was not the case.

Keeping her poker face on, she was pleased to see her internal turmoil did not reach her face. She did not want the brunette to think anything else outside the fact she was delighted. And she certainly was.

''Okay, Time for yours...''  
Carol smiled softly, thinking hers was the perfect opposite. Would Therese came to that conclusion too ?

She took the small box at her feet and in the same fashion, held it in her open palm.

The young woman eyed the box for one moment, like guessing its content.

''Come on slow poke'' She teased.

Soft hands took the box and the lead was carefully opened.

A blank look crossed the woman face before a silent «Oh » made its apparition.

''Therese Believet, I love you. I love you so much I want you to really be a part of my life, Officially. This is the key to my flat. My home is yours. I want us to build a future together''

It was now her turn to feel vulnerable, facing the woman's silence. Was it too soon ? But she wanted her to know, she wanted it all. The full Therese Believet experience. Not just sneaking around when they had a moment, not a couple of days of bliss before having her lover get back to the US for weeks. Of course they would have to discuss this. But she was all in. She just hoped Therese was too ?

''Please say something'' she said nervously, running a nervous hand through her hair.

''I'm... Speechless. This means so much to me. So much more than... than anything else really. So much more than a fucking fancy piece of jewellery. This is a piece of yourself. Once again you are blowing me away...''

She was holding the key tightly in her hand, like afraid it would disapear.

''Thank god, you scared me !'' The blonde released a shaky laugh.

''Never''

In one smooth move, the brunette was straddling her, crossing her arms around her lover's neck.

''I love you so fuckin much Carol. I love you more each minute we spend together. I want nothing more than to build a life with you and Rindy''.

Carol's heart swelled at the mention of her little girl. She did not have time to reply as the brunette had visibly more to say.

''Actually I had a little conversation last week. With Ed''

''Okay ? A new mission in Paris ? Please tell me that's it !''

Carol could feel the excitment bubbling over.

''No, no mission ''

''No ?'' Her face fell, defeated. ''That's okay, we'll have to be pat-''

''He asked me to take his position. He is starting a new business with Marc and decided he would take a sabbatical to take care of it. They want to open a chain of antique shops. Can you imagine ?''  
She laughed, clearly amused at seeing her posh friend being a counter selling dusty objects.

Carol was speechless, did Therese agreed ?

''And what did you say ? !!!!'' She asked far too loudly but she could not help herself.

''Well, I wanted to ask you first, but I was thinking about accepting. Relocating to Paris...''

Tears welled up in the blonde's eyes, and she let them fall freely. It was like a weight had been lifted from her chest. It would all be alright. She had always known it in her heart.

''So you are staying ?''

''Yes. Yes'' She said, kissing the tears away before holding onto Carol for dear life.

''I think we should take it slow, for Rindy. But once the timing is right, I want to fall asleep and wake up everyday in your arms''

''My love''

The promised was sealed with a kiss both would remember till their last breath.


End file.
